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Advice please: causing a fight before moving or leaving

Every time I leave, whether it's moving, or taking a new job or a general situation, I have a fight with people in my life. What I'm upset about is valid, but I find my timing interesting. I was moving to california and 4 weeks before I left, my boss didn't know, but I decided to tell her everything I thought about my job. Then 2 weeks later, I gave her notice that I was moving to California. I could have just left, nicely, but instead, I feel like I caused that rift. And now, my daughter is leaving to go to another school, I decide to tell the teacher, 1 week prior, everything I thought. Why couldn't I just leave gracefully? Help. I want to learn the root cause of this and not do it again.

Thu. Feb 21, 11:06am

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I don't know what your problem is, but it is too small a world these days to burn your bridges. You never know when you might need a recommendation from one of those people.

Thursday, February 21, 2008, 11:21 AM

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Not sure what you're problem is either, have you talked to a doc or psychiatrist? They may be able to get to the root of the problem.

Thursday, February 21, 2008, 11:26 AM

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maybe anger is easier

I do the opposite when my fiance comes home from being away I pick fights with him. But for me I think I find it easier to be mad at him than to face the fact that I was sad while he was gone. Maybe you're trying to avoid your real feelings of sadness about leaving or fear of the unknown?
I find it way harder to say I feel sad than to snap at someone - it's a defense mechanism.

Thursday, February 21, 2008, 11:32 AM

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11:26?

Are you off your freakin rocker??? A psychiatrist? Sounds to me like its the other people with the problem.

OP... These things are just coincidence. Don't change your honeslty and the way you do things because other people are going to get mad. You did nothing wrong.

I am finding more and more that there are a lot of people out there who are just not right in the head. It's actually pretty comical.

Thursday, February 21, 2008, 11:38 AM

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Do you feel guilt over leaving, so you feel compelled to justify your leaving by pretty much putting all the blame on them? Do you have a problem telling people what you think unless you're going to be leaving so that you don't have to listen to or deal with their response?

Honestly, I don't think you're going to *like* why you do it. If you had a good healthy reason to do it, you wouldn't feel like it's a problem. So take a good hard look at all the reasons why, and search out the cause instead of a justification.

Thursday, February 21, 2008, 11:39 AM

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