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my husband chews tobbaco in bed

I am so grossed out, but we are at the point where he feels like he can do whatever he wants because he is great in every other way. arrrrgggghhhh!!!!!!!

Wed. Mar 5, 9:05pm

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Tell him - if you want to chew that crap - sleep on the couch :)

Not sure if that'd work though :S

Wednesday, March 05, 2008, 9:52 PM

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wow that's really gross - I am so sorry for you. I guess I would just ask really nicely and give him reasonable reasons why you don't like it. Also suggest that the bed is for other purposes than sleeping and you are NOT going to do THAT if he is chewing tobacco.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008, 10:14 PM

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omg....too funny....really.
OK now it is time to get serious.
By chewing tobacco you sweet hubby is running a huge risk of getting oral cancer. You are actually more likely to run into problems with cancer risk chewing the stuff than smoking it. In the 1950's they used to show print ads of doctors smoking because it was the "healthy" way to use tobacco (now we knoiw the truth about that). Oral cancer was a terrible problem when people were chewing....and unfortunately it is a deadly form of cancer.

So talk with your darling and try to convince him to give up tobacco all together...including his nighttime habit.

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 3:42 AM

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That is just disgusting. I wouldn't have sex with him.

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 7:10 AM

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My brother used to chew and it was so gross. I'm so glad he stopped that. Chewing in bed?! I don't know of too many things that would be a bigger turn-off than that! Did your husband have this habit before you were married? Let him know that you'd like him to be around a long time and he should give it up. You'd be surprised at how some well put words can really strike a cord.

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 9:56 AM

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Does he do it on nights when he wants to have sex, kiss, etc? Or just on nights when he doesn't want you harrassing him for the good? Just curious if he uses it as a signal.

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 10:15 AM

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Hi, Ex-chewer here. I can relate to the guy, as it is extrememly addictive. I used to chew a can of Skoal a day. My guess is he probably watches TV in bed. I loved to chew watching tv. My wife hated it and I was very angry when she demanded I give it up when my daughter accidentally drank it. Hahaha yeah I know, God have mercy on my soul, as I feel very bad about it. But just being honest ok. When you are addicted to something, you don't care what harm it does to you or others.

The problem (besides cancer obviously) is the sodium content. You absorb the sodium and spit out fluids causing your body to be extremely dehydrated. So bad for the heart. I would wake up in the morning and my mouth would be completely dry. My tongue would be cracked. My teeth were dark, my gums were sore. It was a crappy thing to be addicted to.

The solution for me was to switch over to nicotine lozenges. They worked very well because I still got that oral fixation from sucking on them and I got the nicotine. The downfall? It took 2 years to get off of those, but there were no side effects. I am happy to say that today I am nicotine free. It was the hardest thing I have ever done.

Understand that chewing is soooo much more addictive than smoking because you get 50 times the nicotine. I suggest you buy him a pack (4 mg) and make him try it. Get the CVS/Walgreen brand. They are cheaper and taste better.

I wish you both the best of luck. He may get pissed but tell him how bad I was addicted and how it worked.

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 12:48 PM

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Yay 12:48....you are a good guy for telling it like it is.
I worked in a Pediatric dental practice and saw kids who were hooked on chewing tobacco. It IS really hard to quit. You get a tremendous rush (I actually tried it once...gross...I was young and did it as a dare). These kids were embarrassed and SO hooked.

But it so worth breaking the habit because tobacco causes the most serious oral cancer. The treatment is a nightmare (surgical removal of major portions of tissue) and frequently the patients die in the end. All from a can of something they usually got from a sporting event. They think it is safer than smoking too.

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 4:47 PM

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it's gross, but it's his house and his bedroom, too. I also don't believe in changing people, you accept them for who they are good and bad. With that said, I wouldn't want to be in bed with him when he chews either! ISH!

It sounds like you're going to have to change your habit at bed time to avoid causing problems or feeling like a nagging wife. Maybe tell him he can chew in bed until you are ready to sleep. That way, he is compromising by not chewing as long and you don't have to deal with it because you'll be out on the couch or some other place. He'll catch on real quick how it grosses you out, and maybe he'll quit doing it.

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 5:11 PM

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