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has anyone lost weight because their relationship ended?

ok so i just got out of relationship..im done tryin to force things to work.. i cant make someone love me as much i love him back..im coming to realization that...i probably need to love myself...before i love anyone else...although it hurts so bad that its over...but i should just accept it and take it as it comes.. i cry myself to sleep and keep busy...but i think to day is the day...im done feeling sorry for myself.. i just need a little motivation...im going to start with cardio so i can get the fat off..anyone lost weight because their relationship ended...please advice would be great..and encouraging for me right now.. thanks

Thu. Mar 6, 10:16am

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start watching what you eat and exercising and then you'll be gorgeous and he'll see what he's missing out on

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 10:50 AM

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Yep, I agree with the pp 100%. You now have some GREAT motiviation to get started, not only to make yourself feel better but to be more attractive to other men. In addition to that you'll make the ex jealous as hell AND your focus on you will take your focus off of your misery with him! Good luck, you CAN do it! We're cheering for you!

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 10:59 AM

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Of course revenge can be great motivation, but to add a bit of a more "feminist" attitude to this: screw him! And the other guys. You'll feel so much better about yourself, man or not, when you exercise. Endorphins are phenomenal, and you'll feel better even before you start losing weight. If possible, take a work-out class with your girlfriends or take a new dance class to meet new people. This is a great time to reconnect with people you've lost touch with and to learn new things about yourself!

One warning, though, from someone who's been there: don't let your friends convince you that Haagen-Dazs and appletinis will make you feel better! Go out dancing or bowling or to concerts and movies instead. Nothing will make you feel healthy and sexy and fun like dancing the night away with your girl friends.

Good luck!

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 11:06 AM

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I can empathize

I went through a similar situation last year, and I definitely know how you feel. I can tell you without a doubt that it will get better. I did use my situation as motivation to lose weight (I've lost 45lbs, 30 left to go). I must say that I used this community for support as well, and they were fantastic (I'm including a link to the thread just fyi). Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and make a point to take care of yourself. You deserve it.

~Joy44

Link

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 12:01 PM

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My husband and I split last summer. I lost alot of weight. I called it the separation diet. I have seen alot of people do the same. Including my husband. You deserve to feel good about yourself. Healthy diet and exercise will do that for you. Who knows you might even meet a smokin hot guy at the gym!
Good luck with your new life venture. It will all work out the way it's suppose to.

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 12:10 PM

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A year and a half ago I had a 4 year relationship end. I lost 245 lbs - my 45lbs and the 200 lbs in dead weight I was carrying around in the shape of a boyfriend!!! I have been able to maintain my weightloss and am happier than I have been in years!

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 12:14 PM

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It is a great way to gain some perspective. I lost 15lbs but I was 140lbs to begin with so BONUS !!!!

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 5:22 PM

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op here

i just dont know where 2 begin. I worked out like crazy today ate pretty good even did a cycling class like u guys suggested. But i hurt so much inside i try to keep busy but there is only so much i can do. I need help letting go . I know wat i need to do but right now im so scared what if i never love again. It hurt so bad to love someone so much and not have then love you back. I guess its a step up working out and picking myself up back together again. Love hurts. I try not to cry over him at i cant help it but to. I know i cant beat myself up for this but how do i live without him if he is all i ever known?

Friday, March 07, 2008, 3:11 AM

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12:01 here

You need to cut yourself some slack. Grieving is natural. No one expects you to get over this instantly, and you certainly shouldn't expect it of yourself. I was in my relationship for 1/4 of my life, it was the only one I had ever had, so I know how scary it can be to not have that. My advice is don't think about the future, focus on today. Make good food choices today, exercise today, do something nice for yourself today, allow yourself to heal a little each day. Before you know it it will be six months from now and you'll look back and wonder how you got there. It looks like you're already making a start, you did a great job exercising and eating. Now you need to take care of your emotional self. If you're really having trouble, you should consider therapy. I've been going for a year or so and it's been a tremendous help.

You're definitely on the right track, don't give up!

Friday, March 07, 2008, 7:54 AM

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Why is it that so many women think of losing a man as motivation to getting back into shape? Why is it that a man has to define who you are as a woman? Why not do it for yourself without the thought of landing a new man or making an old one jealous being the reason? When you feel good it shows clear and true to the rest of the world. Even an overweight person who feels great about themselves can get the guy if they want, because men are attracted to that self confident, self assured, fun woman who feels good about themselves. I hear it all the time. Men don't care if your carrying a few extra pounds or even 20 if you feel good about yourself, care about yourself and have fun. Stop thinking that men define us as women, its an awful way to think.

Friday, March 07, 2008, 2:08 PM

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2:08, I don't think anyone in this thread has even come CLOSE to saying that men "define" who we are as a woman. All that is being said is that when you're going through a traumatic experience, whether a man is involved or not, it can be therapeutic to take good care of yourself. You're jumping to illogical conclusions.

Friday, March 07, 2008, 3:03 PM

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I agree guys are dogs they do care how we look they often stray cuz a new woman is way more attractive or may come across their path. Whatever the situation may be us woman do not have to feel as if our self worth is being taking away after a relationship has ended.

Friday, March 07, 2008, 7:28 PM

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