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OT: Letting them cry...
am I a terrible parent for closing the door and letting an 19 month old have a fit?
Wed. Apr 9, 9:25pm
absolutely not. sometimes we need to take a breather. hang in there.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008, 9:29 PM
NO WAY - that is good parenting !
You are fine ! !
Wednesday, April 09, 2008, 9:35 PM
Have you done that in the past - like since they were an infant - let them cry it out ? Or did you spring this idea on them just today ?
I am all in favor of letting them cry it out no harm done - unless it is coming out of left feild.
My son (15 months) has alway had the cry it out method and so it is kindof routine for him usually just 0-30 seconds, but when it is longer he is not freaked out, just sort of venting that he feels like that is not what he wants to...(well... tough little guy)
Wednesday, April 09, 2008, 10:19 PM
My parents let me cry it out when I was little and I turned out just fine :)
Thursday, April 10, 2008, 7:00 AM
In my opinion (and I've rasied 3 of them) you're better off doing it that way. This way they realize that even though they cry you're not giving creedence to the fit. They will eventually figure out that that type of behavior will net them nothing.
Thursday, April 10, 2008, 8:04 AM
Get the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child".
Saved my marriage and my sanity. My daughter was 17 months old and used to get out of her bed, no kidding, 40 times per night. I bought the book and within 3 days, it was over. Then I used it with my newborn son and he sleeps perfectly, even at 6 years old.
Good luck to you.
Thursday, April 10, 2008, 8:52 AM
thank you everyone!!!!!!!!
Thursday, April 10, 2008, 9:17 AM
I'm not certain from your post if this fit was actually sleep or just temper related but yes your doing the right thing. Sometimes you just need to give them some space to express their anger in a safe place where they wont hurt themselves but that also wont escalate your temper. It also helps teach that temper tantrums are not effective ways to get what they want.
Thursday, April 10, 2008, 9:53 AM
i have a 14 mnth old daughter and we have always done the cry it out method. and what you did is exactly what we do with our daughter when she having a fit. we dont shut the door tight though. we tell her to come out when she is done her fit and believe it or not she does she stops and comes out when the fir is over. amazing isnt how much they understand at sucha young age
Thursday, April 10, 2008, 12:19 PM
You're definatley doing the right thing, so you should not in anyway feel bad about this, at the end of the day if it's just a tantrum or something it's fine to let your child cry it out because that's how they learn that they can't get what they want by crying, it's really helpful in proper communication development.
And on top of that it encourages independence and maturity. Apparently letting a child "cry it out" could mean that they cope with separation - say when they first go to school, better.
At the end of the day, as long as your child knows that you would be there to comfort them if there was something serious wrong then there is no problem with what you're doing, I think sometimes, as a parent the things you have to do to help your child are much more painful for you than they are for the child.
Hang in there :)
Thursday, April 10, 2008, 1:27 PM
This is so refreshing! I swear, when I first had my daughter and lurked on parenting message boards there was a definite mindset among some mothers who insisted it was nothing short of child abuse. I was never swayed by this mindset, but I felt bad for those who weren't sure about their strategy and ended up reinforcing and giving in to the crying (which only prolongs the drama!)
Something else I've done with my daughter - I've redirected her to a part of the house, her 'special spot' where she could yell her lungs out. Somehow being given permission to throw a fit and to do it more loudly took the fun out of it :)
Thursday, April 10, 2008, 3:59 PM
yes..good for you unfortunatly some parents don't close the door w/ child crying and loose it and even cause harm to a child..it is so important to have yourself calm..great job!
Thursday, April 10, 2008, 4:48 PM
Im glad there are still women out there who know how to really take care of their children instead of letting them do anything they want.
Thursday, April 10, 2008, 4:50 PM
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