CommunityBrowse groupsBlogEtiquetteInvite Your friendsSuccess Stories

Lounge
Community 


My husband is not happy with my workout schedule

Does anyone else have this problem, and if so, what did you do about it?

I recently joined a gym but my husband is not interested in joining. He knows I want to lose about 40 more pounds. Last night I was at the gym for about 2.5 hours, first eliptical, then two classes, one for weight training, 1 for yoga. I was so happy with my workout last night that I decided that every M&W night I would do that routine, cardio, weights, yoga. On T&Th I would not work out, and play the other days by ear. Well, my husband told me today he is not happy with this schedule b/c then I don't come home until almost 9pm on M&W. He doesn't want me gone that late twice a week. I don't think my schedule is unreasonable, and I wish he would be more supportive. You can't say you are supportive if that means only when it doesn't affect you. To be supportive you need to sacrifice a llittle bit.

What do you think?


Thu. Feb 23, 5:17pm

Add comment  
Tell your hubby, that on Mon and Wed nights, that you ARE going to take time for yourself, and this is what I am chosing to do- workout at the gym.
Let him know that it is just 5 hours a week, and that it will make you a better person etc. and the rest of the week, I will be home and what not. But I Need this time.
I would not urge him to join you just yet, let him get use to some time alone, and maybe he can find a hobbie, or better yet, clean the house while you are gone.

Maybe help him find a hobbie, or something to ocupie his time, or even a honneydo list. But I do not think you are being unfair, But please dont give up your point, just make him understand it, and dont back down

I study Karate twice a week, and it took some time for my hubby to get use to it, but trust me they do. My hubby usaly works late or cleans the house while I am gone.


Thursday, February 23, 2006, 5:57 PM

Add comment
To the original poster - just curious, do you have kids?

Thursday, February 23, 2006, 6:10 PM

Add comment
Absolutely take that time for yourself. You are bettering your health and you said you really enjoy it. Hopefully when you explain this he will understand. You need to think about yourself as well as your husband. It is only 2 nights a week.

Thursday, February 23, 2006, 6:36 PM

Add comment
OP here. No, I do not have kids. One complaint he had was that he would be automatically stuck making dinner. I suggested we make a schedule that he would cook on M&W, I will cook on T&TH, or I could just bring home dinner on M&W. He said that was just one of the issues of me coming home late. Really he just wants me home. He doesn't have any hobbies except for playiing video games

To the first responder, I like your point that it's only 5 hours a week. That's nothing in a 168hour week.

Thursday, February 23, 2006, 7:42 PM

Add comment
Grrr to your hubby! Take time for yourself, work out, and take care of yourself! I think he will eventually realize he is being selfish, and I'll bet he notices that you have more energy, etc, to spend time with him!

Thursday, February 23, 2006, 7:46 PM

Add comment
Here is an idea, buy him a new video game, a really really hard one, and make a deal that he is only to play it while you are at the gym.

Thursday, February 23, 2006, 8:51 PM

Add comment
I have a video game playing hubby too. Make it sound like he has special time to play games while you are at the gym. The only thing that works for me going to the gym on Tue and Thur nights is setting those nights up for something easy to make for dinner. Either something he can make himself or something easy you can make when you get home.

It is important for you to continue what you have started. Make sure to let hime know how good you feel after your workout. It will make a difference in all areas of your life.

Thursday, February 23, 2006, 9:37 PM

Add comment
Myabe this sounds ridiculous - but reading these postings makes me want to never get married. He can't be home alone 2 days a week for a few hours - that sounds as high maintenence as a 5 year old!! He must have been alone at least 5 hours a week before he met you. And men that can't eat dinner unless its made for them - dear god! I'm not some crazy liberal women - and I like cooking occasionally for my significant other. But I can't imagine that a person would actually complain about you coming home late 2 nights a week. Think of all the people that are in school part time, or work really late a couple days a week, or have an intense hobby - all these things take up much more time then a few hours at the gym. Especially since in the end - it benefits him.
Sorry for the rant....

Friday, February 24, 2006, 10:13 AM

Add comment
Doesn't he have friends of his own?? Can't he invite them over and have a Halo party or something? Either make dinner ahead for him if he's totally helpless in that department, or authorize him to order out for pizza.

I do think that if you both have hectic schedules anyway, it is important to make time to be together and have fun. And you'll have to negotiate when those times are, and be just as protective of them as you are of your gym time.

Friday, February 24, 2006, 10:13 AM

Add comment
When I'm going to be out late, sometimes that morning, before I leave for work, I dump a bunch of stuff in a crockpot. Then, when my fiance gets home, he has a hot dinner waiting for him, and if he just doesn't touch it other than to serve himself, then I have a hot dinner waiting for me when I get home too! Then I don't have a cranky/hungry fiance, and our timing doesn't really matter b/c it's always hot and ready!

My new favorite: 1 cup barley, 1-2 packages of stew beef, sprinkle some beef bouillion and some onion and garlic powder, 1 package frozen stew vegetables, 1 package mushrooms, and add water until it covers the barley and meat, and some of the veggies. Put crock pot on low. First day, it'll be more like a soup; second day, more like a thick stew. Yum!

Friday, February 24, 2006, 10:15 AM

Add comment
Are men really this helpless? They seem to make it through life single just fine but now that they have become dependent on a woman, they have an excuse to be lazy???
I agree with the 3rd post above me.



Friday, February 24, 2006, 11:18 AM

Add comment
Whoa Whoa whoa... Not all men are helpless....

But I know I'm very lucky. I have a husband who can cook, clean, take care of our 3 year old and entertain himself, all by himself. In fact, he takes equal part if not more of the household duties. I help HIM with the housework. We're as progressive as you can get, I guess....

To the OP - tell your husband it is in HIS best interest for you to have time to exercise & get fit. I don't know about any of you, but exercising and being successful in weight loss/toning makes me feel sexy (maybe it's all the extra endorphins?), so my husband benefits in his favorite way, if you know what I mean...... this motivates him to help me get motivated.....

I also have a rule for every 5 pounds I loose, I get new lingerie. He likes that ALOT..... Hee Hee

Friday, February 24, 2006, 11:38 AM

Add comment
Yep - housekeeping, supportive husband here too. However, we did have to work on the workout schedules a bit. Now he does his early mornings and I do mine in the evening. We were working out in the afternoon but it was cutting into dinner preparations and after awhile we decided (mutually) that dinner together was a bigger priority. That's when we really connect and talk about our day, so we shifted our working out to other times.

However his reaction, coming this soon, seems a tad 'needy' in a rather insecure, immature way. It really sounds like he might be a bit threatened by you going to the gym and making yourself look hawt - without him. He also might simply be afraid of change - lots of people are. I would discuss this further and see what more there is to it - seems a bit too early to be moaning about an evening or two fending for himself.

Ask him to try this for a month and see if you guys can work on having some pre-prepared meals ready for him to re-heat. Take some uninterrupted time during the rest of the week to spend together - turn off the TV and make it really count! At the end of the month sit dow and talk about you both feel the month has gone. You're not going to get through to him overnight and this may make some changes to your relationship, but if you both work on understanding and accomodating each other's needs, and I don't mean his need to have you make dinner - I mean your need to feel better about yourself and his insecurity and fear of change, the changes will be for the better!

I realize I just drew some pretty big pressumtions from what you've written, so feel free to elaborate more or discard any advice that doesn't really pertain to your situation. Most of all - keep up the good changes you are making!

Friday, February 24, 2006, 12:26 PM

Add comment
During my marathon training my husband told me the same thing, mainly because I wasn't there to fix dinner for him. Not in so many words but, I told him to lump it or leave it....................and I don't ever cook for him any more, even when I am home. He is cooking dinner for himself and lumping it.
I believe we women baby men too much. They are big boys, they know how to read, that is all you need to do to cook and get along with out you for 5 stinking hours. Stick up for yourselves out there!

Friday, February 24, 2006, 12:56 PM

Add comment
maybe you could stretch out the five hours/week over five days instead of two? that way it's not having as big of an impact on your home life.

Friday, February 24, 2006, 1:08 PM

Add comment
OP Here, to the poster above (12:36pm on Friday) I think your second paragraph nails it on the head. He has issues with how I spend my time when it's not with him. I usually just go ahead and do what I need to do and let him just get over it. His complaints about dinner are just to mask that he wants me home. We both share equally in dinner prep and housework. It's probably a control issue and definitely an insecurity issue. He seems to feel that if I'm not with him I'm avoiding him rather than just understanding I have other things I need or want to do sometimes. When I'm not at the gym I spend 90% of my free time with him, so it's not like he doesn't see me enough. He does not have many friends to occupy his time with. I am his best friend and he wants me around, but I have other interests and a desire to get fit. I posted about this b/c I did feel a little bad about not getting home until 8:30pm twice a week and wasn't sure if I should feel guilty or not.

I like the idea of at least trying this for 1 month and making an effort to spend more quality time on the other nights, vs just going for quantity.

Friday, February 24, 2006, 1:13 PM

Add comment
Hello

I think that it is important for you to do this for yourself and spend those M&W nights taking those classes.
Try telling your husband how important this is to you and that it is something you deserve. If he still has problems with this maybe see about only doing one of the classes and try taking the other one or one like on another day. Or I know my finance was not excited about my time at the gym during the week so I told him about pick up basketball games there and now he is hooked.
Try finding some sort of compromise but, don't give in and stop going all together.
This is something important to you and good for mind.
Good luck!!!

Friday, February 24, 2006, 1:57 PM

Add comment
I agree with the poster who said love it or leave lol. Sounds like to me he is trying to control you. I was in a marriage like that and I worked nights. He whined all the time that he had to make his own supper etc. He is a shift worker so I only had 2 weeks out of the month for that. He's a big boy it's not as if you are late every night. I agree with maybe a hour a night or do you have time to workout before you go to work.

You are doing a great job, and you are worth it. Chin up we are all here cheering you on.

Friday, February 24, 2006, 4:18 PM

Add comment
I think you have a bigger problem

"He seems to feel that if I'm not with him I'm avoiding him rather than just understanding I have other things I need or want to do sometimes."

Ugh, I went out with a guy like this for a while. Fortunately, I didn't marry him. But I'll tell ya, after putting up with his insecurites for a while, I found that I'd STARTED to avoid him. Desperation is never attractive. Your issue here is not weight loss or working out. It's that you guys need some marriage counseling, or you both need to be really, really good at working your problems out. Trust me, I have been in this relationship and it did not end well.

Friday, February 24, 2006, 4:57 PM

Add comment
OP Here, agreed that we need marriage counseling, but he refuses, probably b/c he's afraid the counselor will agree with me. He's also a very private person and does not want to air relationship problems with others.

I appreciate everyone's support and advice. I think I'll go ahead and keep my workout schedule on those nights, he'll find he can live without me those nights.

Friday, February 24, 2006, 5:08 PM

Add comment
You go girl!!!!!!

Your health is more important than any man. It's your life and yes you want to share it with him but hey he don't own you. Any man who cannot get by making his dinner for 2 nights a week needs help. Tell him you are not his mother you are his wife and love him to death but he is not going to die if you are not home to make his meals.

"We are women hear us roar"

Friday, February 24, 2006, 8:51 PM

Add comment
He needs to find something to do on those nights you are at the gym so he won't be at home alone. He needs to get his own life. Just because you married someone does not mean you can not have seperate interests that do not include them. You "share" your life with them but they should not become you whole life:o)

Friday, February 24, 2006, 9:31 PM

Add comment
My husband used to try to make me feel guilty for going to the gym and working out. He called me selfish. I just kept working out and taking care of myself and now he just knows that it's what I do. He is welcome to go with me but rarely does. Now he's proud of how far I've come. You only have one you. You have to take care of yourself now to preserve yourself for the future. With or without him (and I only say that because you just never know). I don't know how long you've been married but boy he better watch out if you're ever planning to have children! Every relationship is different. Marriage is a progressive thing. You are constantly learning. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down. I mean, you are doing something GOOD for yourself. You're not going out bar hopping with your friends. I don't think you're asking for too much. Just your health.

Saturday, February 25, 2006, 3:56 PM

Add comment
hey, i'm a crazy liberal woman and i cook for my man several days a week (but only cuz i really enjoy cooking and am sooooo much better a cook than him!) . . haha . .what's wrong with that? just teasing.

Sunday, February 26, 2006, 4:10 PM

Add comment
In his shoes

To the OP,
I was your husband, My fiance went to the gym and would be there for 3-4 hrs. at a time. I would get really upset that he was leaving because my whole world revolved around him, when he would get home, making him food, etc. He caved for a little but then reminded me that when he IS home I almost ignore him. I just wanted the security of having him there.
So we made an agreement, that if I call him on his cell he would answer, even at the gym, and in return I wouldn't call unless there was some kind of emergency. For the first few weeks I would just call to be reassured that he WOULD pick up, and then I decided to use the time he was at the gym for myself. And when he would get home I'd have dinner ready for him, so maybe that might help your hubby.
And while all of that insecurity sounds sad, the good news is we worked it out, and came to a compromise. If he's already taking on his share of the work, your hubby can come around, too.


Sunday, February 26, 2006, 4:49 PM

Add comment
I can't help but wonder if the overreaction to the hours in the gym is revealing some emotional vulnerability -- that he's worried you're trying to get sexy for a new man, or don't like spending time with him, or implying that he's not strong and fit enough himself. Maybe you can be very firm about needing the time for yourself, and yet also be kind and reassuring to him that you still care about him -- don't reward him for being childish, but at other moments make him feel loved and secure. I have had fitness-fanatic friends who when they talked about their exercise, I couldn't help but imagine an implied slight on myself. People get weirdly emotional about these things...

Sunday, February 26, 2006, 7:39 PM

Add comment
Hi all. I may be late on this topic. I am young and married (2 years) and my husband tries to talk me out of the gym too. I tend to do hour + workouts and I am crunched for time overall in life. He is a strict dieter but never wants to go to the gym. I can't diet for anything and HAVE to go. Tonight, when I left him, I was getting ready and put on my "too small" gym pants. I'm not overweight, but I don't fit into those pants either. I think showing him why I HAD to go really worked. He didn't complain one minute. (He also plays too much video games----I don't know why he can't come to the gym with me, but whatever) I am went to the gym and I HAVE to keep going for my overall happiness with how I look.

Monday, February 27, 2006, 2:16 AM

Add comment
video games?

Okay, now I'm starting to wonder -- how many of you out there have husbands who play video games? And how many think they are addicted, and does it cause household strife? This may be OT, but it sounds like there is a conflict between men playing in virtual-land (waited on by their wives) and women who want to be out in the real world... (My boyfriend is a gamer, so I'm starting to get worried...)

Monday, February 27, 2006, 10:29 AM

Add comment
My husband plays video games but who cares? I go shopping. I love that he does things on his own and I get to do my own thing. It's no different than watching a lot of tv.

Monday, February 27, 2006, 10:38 AM

Add comment
My husband use to be addicted to Video Games, till I got really mad, and blew my top at him. Now the deal is if he is playing, and I am talking to him, I want him to do something, or He knows he needs to do something etc, that gets first prority.
He also knows I mean business, he stops when every I am talking to him, or what him to do something and he get what ever he needs to do done first.

This is working really well I have been married for over 7 years. I also know this is his down time. He plays sometimes, and is never a problem. I never want to be the nagging wife, but the rules are the rules, and he knows them very well. and we are both happy.

Monday, February 27, 2006, 10:41 AM

Add comment
My fiance and I have been dating for over a year and a half, and living together for 3 months. He loves his video games. I "compromised" and let him set up his PS2 in our living room, with all the ugly games and wires, etc. (I'm kind of neurotic about wanting everything to look nice and neat), and he "compromised" that if I'm hanging out in the living room too, he doesn't play video games unless he includes me in them, and there are very very few games that I'll play. One of them is DDR, so when he's begging me to play that with him, we're both getting exercise too!

If I'm not home, or in the bedroom, or on my computer, etc., then that's when he can play. It really doesn't hinder anything. I watch cheezy girly movies when he's not home, and he plays video games when I'm not home.

As for the husband wanting you around, and the majority of people saying "do this for yourself, don't pay any attention to the man," I disagree. You married him b/c you wanted to be with him. Now your actions are making him unhappy. If he were doing something that you didn't like, and you voiced your opinion, and he blew you off, you'd be very upset (at least I would!). So, sit him down and talk it out. Come to a compromise. A marriage involves two equal partners, not one who's in charge and one who's submissive. It's your duty to your husband to work things out. I'm not suggesting that you give in, just that you listen to his side. If he's being unreasonable, just saying it out loud in a calm discussion may make him realize that it's unreasonable. But if not, maybe there are areas of compromise. Maybe there's something totally unrelated that he wants you to do that you've been putting off; maybe you could give in on that issue if he gives in on this one.

Good luck, and don't give up!

Monday, February 27, 2006, 12:01 PM

Add comment
Husbands!!!!!!!

I also have the same problem with my common-law husband but we have a 3 year old girl so he hates being left at home with her while i go out and do things ( a little pig headed.....I know) He has always been a lazy pig needs to be cooked for etc......well after 4 years of this I had enough and simply put I told him like the other girl lump it or leave it not that I reccomend that form maybe if all else fails but I do rather enjoy not having much to do in the evenings so I started going before work it envolves early mornings though at around 5 am but it gets my day started on a positive note and I find that if you do it early you are less likel u r to eat badly throughout the rest of the day. SIT YOUR HUSBAND DOWN AND EXPLAIN HOW YOU FEEL AND HOW WORKING OUT MAKES YOU FEEL AND THE BENEFITS FOR HIM IF HE COMPROMISES WITH YOU ON THIS. IF IT IS A LOT TO DO WITH DINNER SAY YOU WILL LEAVE HIM A PLATE OF DINNER IN THE FRIDGE AND HE CAN JUST HEAT IT UP OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. SAY THAT YOU ARE NOT HAPPY ABOUT YOUR BADY THE WAY IT IS AND EFFECTS YOUR MOODS AND FEELINGS ABOUT YOURSELF WHICH IN TURN WILL AFFECT HIM NEGATIVELY, BUT KEEP ON GOING TO THE GYM DURING THESE TALKS AND IF HE IS A GOOD GUY HE WILL COME AROUND IF HE DOESN'T YOU KNOW HE DOES NOT HAVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART AND THAT IS NOT A MARRIAGE. :) hope that helps a bit. I completely understand where u r coming from if u need to talk i am kristinak

Monday, February 27, 2006, 12:28 PM

Add comment
My husbands excuse for me not to go to a gym was that he did not feel it was safe. So we compromised. I now have a complete home gym and I can exercise any time I want to. This makes me happy and keeps him from worrying so much. It also helps that I am home with the kids and still geting in mommy time for myself.

Monday, February 27, 2006, 12:38 PM

Add comment
not safe? I don't get that. Was he worried about you getting hurt lifting weights? If not, its no more dangerous then going grocery shopping.... That seems like a comment meant to be controlling....



Monday, February 27, 2006, 1:57 PM

Add comment
GET TO THE BOTTOM OF HIS OBJECTIONS...

Find out why he doesn't want you out that late...if it's simply because he wants you home, then that's not good enough. If he's worried about your safety then the two of you will need to come up with ways to keep you safe and give him piece of mind.

I went through the same thing with my fiance. We live and work together...in order to have some time apart, I started working out at night 3-4 times during the week and Saturdays and Sundays as usual. Normally we leave the office around 6 or 7, I'd go to the gym, have 2 hour workout, sit in the steam room, shower and be home, nearly 3.5 hours later. Well he didn't care for it, mainly because he was so used to having me home and safety was an issue. He worried about me. I adjusted my schedule a little and let him know that I was very aware of keeping myself safe, parking close to the entrance, etc. This helped to ease his concerns.

Good luck...at least you have PeerTrainer for support if you're not getting it from him.

Friday, March 03, 2006, 12:10 PM

Add comment
We are talking about grown men here - give me a break. :<) It's time to grow up men! Cook your own d*#& dinner. Find something to do with your own d#*$ time! We need time to ourselves so we don't get lost in YOUR life. We need our own lives!

-Star

Friday, March 03, 2006, 12:22 PM

Add comment
Husband

Kick is ass.

Sunday, November 30, 2008, 7:43 AM

Add comment
The fact that you said you need counseling but he won't go highlights the fact that there are bigger issues than him not wanting to be alone. Sounds like you need to work on yourself FOR yourself whether he agrees or not. I'm all for compromise, but if there's strife in the relationship already that he's not willing to confront, then why should you care what he thinks about your gym routine? I wouldn't feel guilty about it for one second if he's not willing to be honest. Maybe going regularly will make him cough up the real reason he wants you home. If he's not willing to live in honesty and openness for the sake of your marriage, then you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008, 1:54 PM

Add comment
12:22 you are star and not starf

Tuesday, December 02, 2008, 6:40 PM

Add comment
If you were doing this 5, 6 or 7 nights a week I could see where he might want you around more...
but...
Given what you have told us he is just being a whiney baby. He seriously can't fend for himself for dinner twice a week? 2.5 hours twice a week to do something healthy and good for yourself is ABSOLUTELY O.K.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008, 6:41 PM

Add comment
two and a half hour sessions twice a week isn't as good for you as one hour 5 days a week, if you're looking to lose weight.

As to women whining about men not wanting to cook- all my men have preferred me to cook because they're not as good at it. When all they can really do is reheat prepared foods, I'd expect them to be disappointed if I refuse to cook. Bringing home dinner? Uh, if you're trying to lose weight, bringing home dinner isn't such a great idea.

Your marriage would likely work better if your question had been more along the lines of how can I get my husband to be more supportive rather than saying "I'm not being unreasonable" and "he should sacrifice" and "what do you think" which on this board often means "people, tell me I'm right". When that's how you talk about your hubby, I'm not surprised if he's concerned about you going out for 2.5 hours every M&W.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008, 11:03 AM

Add comment
He is probably just insecure that you have found something that you enjoy and he is not a part of. Also, he sees you trying to change yourself and that might scare him as well. Most people do not like change, so I don't think that is anything to condemn him for. I do think that if you go ahead and do as you planned, he will eventually see that it is not such a big deal and get over it. I don't think it sounds so much like he is trying to be controlling as it does that he is just a little scared.

Saturday, December 06, 2008, 9:10 PM

Add comment
I have the same problem

My hubby keeps telling me I look great just the way I am and he does not want me to change. Its a fight to go to the gym because he gets lonely and bored without me. He makes me feel guilty if I don't eat something he wants me too. I just keep telling him that I need to feel good about myself, and it's not all about him. It takes a lot to keep my head up high with negative support but just picture yourself how you want to be.

Link

Friday, February 20, 2009, 11:15 AM

Add comment
husbands can be trying

My hubby has been athletic for most of his life. He would say we needed to go walking together then proceed to run, run, run far away telling me not to worry about catching up. Then he would skip back to me as I huffed and puffed to get up a hill then ask if i felt ready to jog. I'm 59, menopausal and have had an extremely hard time since my hormone regimen stopped. I blew up like a little round pig last year and now, have managed to get into my own regimen which includes walking and sticking to it in addition to mixing it up with other exercises and some weight resistance. My diet has been adjusted by a nutritionist and I dragged the hubby to my doctor to explain to him how menopause can change a woman's life and create new struggles. In a world of visual vixens everywhere and examples of drooling husbands apologizing all over the place for their infidelities, I will take no prisoners nor will I surrender my self-esteem to something unreachable. I will never be the same slender young thang I used to be but, I can still be the best that I can be and in the end, that's all that matters. Incidentally, I just ran into a jr. high school friend who drooled over me and thought that I looked terrific! Now maybe that shouldn't mean so much in the scheme of things but it certainly felt good in the moment. Beauty is in the eye of who???

Friday, May 08, 2009, 9:36 AM

Add comment
An ex of mine who was a personal trainer used to spend too much time in the gym, after work hours. I'd be home waiting for him, with dinner going cold and him always arriving late. I'd be there, re-heating food at 11 pm and starving myself so I could eat with him. He would pass comments that I wasn't working out enough, nevermind that I organised his life for him and paid the bills. I caught him cheating, I annihilated him.

I met someone recently who loves eating, although he's not obese in anyway. When he found out I was working out 4-5 days a week, he didn't object - instead he was always asking how hard I was working out. Then he started to work out too, and sends me texts to tell me what he did that day/week. And he takes my advice on nutrition. And (bless his heart) he's recently offered to run a marathon with me (I thought that might've scared him off but it didn't).

The point here is that an equal partnership is about understanding each other's needs, and seeing how much sacrifice your partner is willing to make for you. I learnt that my adjusting to my ex's lofty ideals - best gf he could ever want, with tits and arse, works out all week, has a job, pays the bills, is his best friend, gets along with everyone - is just unrealistic. My bending backwards for him got me nothing, and I don't expect my men to do that but at the very least - respect me for who I am, what I stand for and what I want in life. They either have to love it, or lose it - because I don't like whiners, and I've learnt not to mince my words (men need direct instructions right?). He called me 2 years later (after getting dumped by the other woman) to ask me to come back and I just told him to stuff it. That being said:

1. Get marriage counseling.
2. Pre-cook a meal he can microwave or re-heat on T&T, or like another user said - crockpot. In any case, he won't starve because he didn't before he met you.
3. He's an avid gamer...does he work out? Is he fit or not? I suspect he's insecure about you becoming better looking, and worried that you'll get hit on in the gym. Suggest he gets a life when you're not around, or haul arse and work out with you.

Saturday, May 09, 2009, 4:09 AM

Add comment
I don't get it. I'm not married but have been with my cl spouse for 7.5 yrs.


- Your partner is an adult, so they can make their own dinner.
- Although you are married, you are still your own person, and should take personal time for yourself a few times per week, and you should expect that your spouse does the same. (I think this leads to problems in the marriage/relationship if either partner doesn't take personal time for themselves).

Monday, May 11, 2009, 6:52 PM

Add comment








Related Content:

How To Lose Weight- The Basics
Weight Watchers Points System
The Fat Smash Diet
The Eat To Live Diet
The Beck Diet Solution
How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight

 

How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer

How To Burn Fat
Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works
Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight?
Tips On Using PEERtrainer
Visit The PEERtrainer Community
Diet and Fitness Resources

Fitness

Weight Watchers Meetings
Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are
Writing Down Your Daily Workouts
Spending Money On A Personal Trainer?
How I Became A Marathon Runner

 

Preventive Health

How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout
Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot?
Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer?
Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy
Reversing Disease Through Nutrition

New Diet and Fitness Articles:

Weight Watchers Points Plus
How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise
New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program
New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive
Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program
 

Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne:

Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough
How To Delay Short Term Gratification
How To Stay Motivated
How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule

Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions

Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight?
Are Protein Drinks Safe?
Nutrition As Medicine?
 

Everyday Weight Loss Tips

How To Eat Healthy At A Party
How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight
The Three Bite Rule
Tips On How To Stop A Binge