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Would you ever go out with someone who you see regularly at the gym?
I need some advice. I see a guy often at my gym and he's been chatting me up but I find an excuse to walk away in time because I'm scared to go out and have things go awry. The gym fits in perfectly with my work - home route and I don't want to comprimse my perfect set up! But he is cute. What would you do?
Tue. Feb 28, 4:14pm
Not unless I was moving away, planning on an upcoming gym switch, or starting to workout outside shortly. Basically, NO as it could get very, very hairy if you two don't work out together (pun intended!)
It's the same as dating someone from the office. it's fine so long as you are comfortable with potential drama in a place you frequent.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006, 4:19 PM
I disagree with the above poster, it's not like datng someone you work with. Dating coworkers get's much more complicated than just seeing each other every day.You have to work together as a team, and it can affect other coworkers if there's animosity after the breakup.
Where are you supposed to find people to date if it's not people you see on a regualar basis? Are you supposed to get lucky and just find someone at the supermarket or, ug, at a BAR? Why eliminate a prospect because he works out at the same gym? At least he has similar interests as you and won't get mad that you spend time at the gym. And if it doesn't work out, then just act like an adult and be cordial and move on, oh yeah, and find someone cuter at the gym to flirt with in front of him ;-) Seriously though, sometimes we have to deal with people in uncomfortable situations, but you should not build up walls around yourself to prevent dating someone who could be great for you.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006, 4:35 PM
It depends on your (and his) level of maturity. A week or two after I started dating my current fiance, I joined a gym right across the street from his apartment building (because, coincidentally, that's the gym that has a climbing wall in it, something that I really enjoyed!) They gave me a guest pass that I gave to him for a month, and when it expired, he ended up joining. We weren't hesitant b/c we both enjoyed each other's company, and although we'd chat between sets, we don't really work out together often. Mostly, he does weights and I do cardio. The situation's a little bit different b/c we were dating (slightly) before we joined the same gym. Obviously, it's worked out just fine.
If you tend to have dramatic relationships that end in a situation in which you can't stand being in the same room as your ex, then stay away. If you're someone who can hold civil (not necessarily friendly) conversations with your exes, and still have friends in common, then you're probably fine belonging to the same gym. I don't have any exes that I would really care if they were at the gym when I was there too. I might not want to talk to them, but I can't imagine it affecting my workout!
Tuesday, February 28, 2006, 4:37 PM
I agree. I work out with my bf, but I was thinking a la Sex and the City where you date 2 or 3 times, not enough to have a "relationship" and then you see that person.
Because, how often does a date end up in a relationship????????
If you are talking SERIOUSLY date them, that's different- then the civil ex convo comes into play. But otherwise, no.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006, 4:49 PM
Well, so what is the problem if you go out on two dates and decide that the guy isn't boyfriend material?? It doesn't mean you can never speak to him again! My God, my best friend is someone I went out on two dates with, 20 years ago now.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006, 5:05 PM
I met my husband at the gym. . .
Although it was the gym on campus when I was in college, and only college students could work out there. So, I knew lots of people there, from classes, etc, and went on a few dates, before I met my husband with people from the gym. I think it's quite different though, for public gyms. In my case, I knew that everyone there was a student. I'm not sure if I would be as open to dates with strangers. But, I guess if I talked to them for a while, and got to know them, I might consider it.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006, 6:01 PM
hey . . .if you like him then go for it. if it works out GREAT, if not, you can warn other women at your gym about him. consider it a good deed! just teasing, really, what do you have to lose? if you have other reservations than that you both go to the same gym, then fine, leave it alone, but if not, i would check it out, you might miss out on a great guy!
Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 1:40 AM
OP here. Thanks for all the great feedback! I'm going to the gym tonight and I still haven't made up my mind! So funny.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 9:02 AM
OP, you have to ask him out and then get back to us about the results! Come on, don't wimp out now!!
Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 1:00 PM
TREAT THE GYM LIKE THE OFFICE!
Strictly business...people go to the gym for various reasons, ranging from fitness to socializing. If you like your set up, don't mess with it!
I've made the mistake in the past with going out on a date with a guy at my gym...the date was alright, although I made it clear that I wasn't interested in anything more than just a night out, he got really weird on me. From that point on, word got out at the gym that he and I went on a date and all of a sudden the flood gates were opened...although flattering to be asked out, it was a nuisance and a big distraction. On top of that, the guy that I went out with started acting really jealous at the gym and it just wasn't fun to go any more.
If anything, since you do find him attractive, use this as motivation to get you to the gym! There's nothing wrong with being friends, perhaps a little flirting...but keep it at that unless there really are sparks and you can see something long term happening...in that case you too could be a good match, you have fitness in common and that's a great starting point!
Friday, March 03, 2006, 11:46 AM
To the poster above me, why did you go out with the guy, on a date, if you didn't want anything more than a night out? I think most guys would get weird on you if you let them take you out but had no real interest in them. I think the OP likes the guy at her gym, and wants to go on a date because she is interested in him.
If you're not interested, don't go, regardless if it's someone from the gym, the office, etc. You're just insulting the guy and wasting his time. If you are interested, or might be interested, you really have nothing to lose! Go for it!
Friday, March 03, 2006, 4:06 PM
Just because one isn't interested in a relationship doesn't mean one isn't interested. Or doesn't want to go out and have a nice evening with someone who seems like good company. Or perhaps there was some interest - just not enough. Not all dates lead to LTR's.
And you do have something to lose. The relative peace and traquility of your workout refuge. Keep things low-key until you can evaluate his potential as a romantic prospect. i would move cautiously and just get to know him a bit more. if anything did develop I would still be 'all business' at the gym. No necking between sets, running your hands over each others pectorals, etc... I'd still be there to workout and do my own thing and I would make this clear to him if things did start developing. However that's purely my preference.
i very much like the 11:46 poster's last paragraph.
Friday, March 03, 2006, 4:27 PM
The gym is not the office! If you are going to rule out all of the guys who go to your gym, you are elimating a ton of eligbles who share one of your interests. I have been much happier in relationship with men who shared my enthusiasm for fitness - go for it!
Friday, March 03, 2006, 4:28 PM
Why not date guys at the gym? As long as you both can be mature about it if it doesn't work out. If you think you'll be too embarassed if it doesn't work out, I guess you shouldn't, but there's no reason to feel embarassed. Go for it! Working out makes me really aroused and I get really confident when I'm there. I find I attract men the most at the gym. Have fun with it and try not to worry about what will happen if it doesn't work out.
Saturday, March 04, 2006, 10:20 AM
What else is the gym for???
If anything that's why I go to an expensive gym! Better class of guys! Not as good as through friends, but a step up from the bars. Plus you know he works out so he'll be good in bed.
Monday, March 06, 2006, 1:10 PM
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