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Jealousy, a Potential Motivator?
Someone recently started a thread about jealousy and this got me thinking.
Could jealousy be a motivator? If so, would it be healthy to be somewhat if not totally motivated by jealousy?
Just curious...thought this would make for good conversation!
Fri. Mar 10, 12:18pm
Sure it's a motivator, but I feel like you have the wrong ideals in mind then. If you want something and want to stick with it, do it for yourself, not for any other reason.
Friday, March 10, 2006, 12:20 PM
yes. jealousy or should I say envy motivates me all the time. If I'm envious about what someone has, a thinner body, a bigger house, it helps me to focus and realize what I really want and I start working towards it. I make it work for me rather than against me. I view it as an extremely positive thing.
Friday, March 10, 2006, 12:22 PM
Sometimes I wonder if it is more competitiveness than jealousy. I have a sister-in-law whom I am secretly competitive with. She has no clue that I'm competitive with her, but it drives me crazy that her booty is twice the size of mine and yet she weighs 20 lbs less than me. Is it because I'm jealous? Maybe, but it still motivates me to want to look good, or better than her. I know that makes me sound awful - but it's true!
So I think jealousy, or competitiveness can be good if it motivates you. But there's got to be more to your motivation than just that. Your core motivation has got to be that you're doing it for your own health and happiness - not for someone else. The jealousy factor is just a little bit of extra that helps fuel the fire inside you to get it done.
Friday, March 10, 2006, 12:44 PM
In my eyes, being competitive is seeing what you want and going for it (to achieve you must see and believe)...whereas being jealous is seeing what you want but not doing anything about it, thus feeling bitter because you don't have it. Therefore, I think jealousy is unhealthy, but being competitive is healthy.
Friday, March 10, 2006, 12:55 PM
I agree completely! A man would definitely get away calling it competition, so I think women should be able to as well! :<) I had the same deal with a sis-in-law. I had been with my current husband for 10+ years before she came into our lives, and then her and my bro-in-law got married before we did. She always seemed to find situations to rub it in my face, like at dinners, pointing out that I was the only one who didn't have the same last name. But before they got married, I got in the best shape of my life and looked better at her wedding than she did. To be in shape for her wedding was a great inspiration for me because I knew that I was going to be feeling insecure that my own man and I weren't traditionaly married!
However, now we are married and she is since divorced. But enough of the rambling.
Your motivators for losing weight and keeping on track change all the time - that's just the way it is. I say you grab hold of whatever it is and hang on! Just don't use it as an excuse to abuse your body.
Friday, March 10, 2006, 12:55 PM
Nope - negativity just begats more negativity. Jealously is a destructive motivator.
I am often inspired by others, but I do not get jealous of others. Jealously is the most narcissistic of all the negative emotions IMO. It is an tacit admission that you are more deserving of this 'quality' or possession rather than someone else who may have earned their rewards fair 'n square or was blessed by genetic circumstance. You envy what they have without care or consideration for the person who attained it. I cannot see this as a positive motivator.
In a competative situation you are willing to do everything the other person is in pursuit of the same outcome - you are just determined to do it faster/better/more. This is not 'getting away with' calling jealously by another name.
When you are inspired by another - you admire their strength, dedication, determination, willpower, hard work, etc.... You examine how they have acheived this outcome that find so desireable and then you study their methods and adapt that which works for you.
I prefer to be inspired by others.
Friday, March 10, 2006, 2:01 PM
^^^ BTW, very interesting thread. I forgot to add "Thank You" for posting this. Lots of food for thought here ;-)
Friday, March 10, 2006, 2:02 PM
I think its sometimes the best motivator... same with wanting ppl to be like " whoa look at her" and you being like " hahaha I look so much better then you" muaha lol.. I think as long as it isnt hurtful... and you keep some of these things more in your mind.. they can be the most powerful!
Friday, March 10, 2006, 2:25 PM
yeah, it's a powerful motivator, but what is it based on? if you make decisions in your life based on what other people think about you, in the end, you aren't going to be happy regardless of how much weight you lose or how nice of a house you have or what nice clothes you have. it's going to leave you feeling empty and there will always be somebody around the corner who is thinner or has more money or a better job or better looking husband. i make a very conscious effort to not encourage those attributes in myself. we all have them, but they are certainly not positive.
Friday, March 10, 2006, 3:23 PM
I believe that the point of the subject was CAN jealousy be a motivator, not SHOULD it be. In a perfect world, the answer to both questions would be no. But as we all know, this is not a perfect world - and we are far from perfect people - so yes, it can be a potential motivator.
Friday, March 10, 2006, 4:57 PM
Actually, if you re-read the original post, it was:
"Could jealousy be a motivator? If so, would it be healthy to be somewhat if not totally motivated by jealousy?"
So the poster *was* asking if it *should* be a motivator.
Friday, March 10, 2006, 10:06 PM
Yes it can be a motivator but it most certainly should not be encouraged.
Friday, March 10, 2006, 10:06 PM
I think the 2:01pm poster definitely has the right idea of what jealousy actually means. No matter how motivated you were by it, imagine how unhappy you would be if you were jealous all the time.
Jealous natures are never really satisfied. You spend most of your time looking at what other people have, and when you are finally convinced that you are better off than so-and-so, you will find someone else to be jealous of...It's not a pretty thing for people to witness. And I don't think it's something you can keep hidden either - one way or another you will be giving off those jealous vibes. Not attractive.
Friday, March 10, 2006, 11:05 PM
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