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I hate my life and this friggin cycle of failure

I worked so hard to lose 45 pounds, and now I have put back on 10 lbs. I got busy with work and quit working out, and now I can't seem to make myself start again. I tell myself every Sunday that I'm going to wake up Monday and go work out, which is what I told myself before I lost weight, but I don't go. I know that the 10 lbs is going to turn into 15 and then 20 until I put back on all the weight and more. Yet I can't seem to find the motivation to start back up again. When I was losing the weight it seemed that my whole life was consumed with dieting and exercise. Why is it so friggin hard to find that happy medium, that constant? Why the f@?! is maintaining your weight so hard instead of this lifelong cross to bear?

Sun. Nov 1, 9:32pm

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All I can say is that you lost 45 pounds and you've kept off most of it! That's hardly failure. Don't let perfection be your measure of success or failure. There is a happy medium when you don't look for every choice to be the perfect one.

Yes, losing the weight takes energy and focus, but the alternative is to shift back into mindless mode and do what's easiest and that results in weight gain. Eventually, losing and maintaining can be as effortless as gaining, but it does require work to get there.

Congrats on losing 45 pounds and keeping off 35 of them!!

Sunday, November 01, 2009, 9:43 PM

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Wow. Thank you. We are our harshest critics aren't we? I just don't want to see myself slip back into my old ways and hate the fact that I'm even back at the point of wondering how I got here.

Sunday, November 01, 2009, 9:46 PM

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Whooooaaaa!!!! You're being way too hard on yourself! I'll echo the post that points out you lost 45 and have KEPT OFF 35! Congrats! Now, you need to figure out a way to not put anymore back on and/or loss the 10 you gained back. It sounds like you're going at this as all or none. It isn't that way; not much of life really is. How about just 30 min. of exercise everyday? Watch your diet...cut sodas and go to water, eat more vegetables and fruits, and watch your portion size! You did it before...of course you can do it again! Every time a negative thought comes in your mind, turn it into a positive one. You'll be amazed at the difference that will make on your outlook!

Sunday, November 01, 2009, 10:01 PM

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Okay I'm sure this is going to sound dumb, but ...

You say ... "I tell myself every Sunday that I'm going to wake up Monday and go work out ... but I don't go".

Well, I'm thinking you should just grab that Sunday motivation and "run with it". What I mean is -- is there any way you can get in a workout on Sunday, as soon as you feel that Sunday/Monday motivation on Sunday? Like immediately go to the gym, or immediately head out the door to walk or run or go for a bike ride?

I think that you will feel a lot more motivated to make it happen on Monday ... and every subsequent day ... if you've already made it happen on Sunday. Know what I mean?

Just a thought.
Jana

Sunday, November 01, 2009, 11:07 PM

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Post your peertrainer name

and I'll send you an invite to a cool team we just started yesterday.

I think we can help!

Monday, November 02, 2009, 7:56 AM

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When I'm having a hard time motivating myself to go to the gym I find more "fun" ways to work out to start me on the right track. Remember, doing ANY type of exercise is better than doing none.

- walk outside - walk the dog, go to a park, or walk on the trails - the time goes by a lot faster and you get to get out and enjoy the day ... i walk around a waterway by my apartment a couple times each day
- get a fun workout tape - they have several different types of video out there that are fun and easy - like dance workouts where you dance to your favorite music ... a lot of my friends got a Wii FIT which they love and help out....plus you can work out right at home!
- do yoga or pilates (class or tape) - feels like you arent doing anything but you are actually doing a great workout that builds lean muscle
- grab a friend and work out together
- using an mp3 player really helps to pump you up and the time goes by faster
- i have more tips on my personal site below

Link

Monday, November 02, 2009, 9:18 AM

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HAES

I also have lost quite a bit of weight and gained back some (not all) of it over and over again. It's easy to drive yourself CRAZY chasing a goal number on the scale.

The bit of wisdom that has saved me from feeling like crap is called Health At Every Size. It's basically just the idea that eating good nutritious foods and exercising regularly is GREAT for you, regardless of the weight that you end up at. There are a lot of things written about it out there if you look it up.

I find that practicing HAES as a way of life is far more sustainable than always shooting for a short term goal weight that you can't keep up without a ridiculous amount of effort.


Best of luck to you!


Monday, November 02, 2009, 4:52 PM

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10:01 p.m., I think you've got me pegged. That is how my personality is. All or nothing. I have tried to break this mind set that I have, and I know I can do it because I have managed to lose so much weight, but old habits, and old thought processes always seem to make their way back into my life.

7:56, my name user name is Lizabeth.

Jana I do know what you mean. Like I said above, I just get caught up in old thought patterns, and have a hard time breaking out of them.

And the HAES concept is a good one. My battery on my scale went out, and I'm considering not putting a new one in, so that I can get over just concentrating on a specific number. Don't know if that's a good idea or a bad one.

Thanks for all you comments. I'm feeling down, and I know that if I don't get over it, I will end up on the nothing side of the "all or nothing" mind set that I'm in. You know what I mean...you start off good, but since you break down and have that one cookie, you write off the whole day. Well, if I break down, and let myself get more depressed, I'm going to end up writing off trying at all, and that is the last place I want to be.

Monday, November 02, 2009, 9:22 PM

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Love the HAES anacronym. Keeps us focused on healthy behaviors no matter where the body eventually lands. Thank you.

Monday, November 02, 2009, 10:57 PM

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Thanks for posting this now I do not feel alone I am always saying ok I will start Monday we can do this!

Monday, November 02, 2009, 11:15 PM

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Been there and done it

almost 20yrs ago i lost 50 pounds. I was on a high for about 6mos and then i just "lost" it. The motivation, the desire all of it. For the last 20yrs I have lost and regained about 25 lbs of it. As pissed off as I get at myself, I work real hard at remembering that at least I never put it all back on. I am loving peertrainer, because it deals with the emotioal issues of life. I have figured out that , that, is why I keep loosing and regainging. Just remember that you did it once you can do it again and keep learning about yourself

Tuesday, November 03, 2009, 2:33 PM

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It is easy to lose 5, ten, fifteen pounds when you are on a high, feeling good and really motivated. However, when you lose the motivation, it is impossible to keep going. Thats why you need too take it slow, work on changing one habit at a time. Maybe you are having trouble exercising, make a goal this week to at least take a walk on three days. If you feel like doing more, by all means do more, but at least get in a walk- a walk is easy and relaxing, but can get you back into the right direction. You can't expect to be constantly focusing on weight loss, but make a small goal, and when you have made that goal into a habit, make a new one. The only way you will sustain your weight loss is if you make your good behaviors into habits!

Tuesday, November 03, 2009, 3:45 PM

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I hear you. I completely understand how you feel. It's hard and it sucks. I am hoping that this time I will finally get it right. You've done amazingly well. I only wish and hope I am half as successful as you.

take good care! you're my inspiration!!

Wednesday, November 04, 2009, 4:29 PM

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