CommunityBrowse groupsBlogEtiquetteInvite Your friendsSuccess Stories


not sure what to do

i have been with my husband for 18 years and today he tells me i make him sick yes i am over weight but i have been for 16 years and it never seemed to bother him before i am doing ww lost 15lbs so far i love him dearly i havee been with him since i was 15 i dont know what to think he is 9 yrs older than me and always talks about his ex girlfriend ive asked him if he still loves her he says no but why does he go on about her so much anyways thanks for lstening needed to vent

Sat. Aug 7, 3:04pm

Add comment  
He honestly says that to you? Sounds like a first class ass hole. Even my husband thinks so. I think you may need to ask him for real if he truly cares about you. A man who truly honestly loves the woman he is with will love her thick or thin no matter what. If he don't? You may need to find a new and better life for yourself.

Thursday, August 19, 2010, 11:34 PM

Add comment
I am sorry for your pain. Clearly his statement was cruel and insensitive.

That said, I have to tell you that my husband once said something along these lines to me in a moment of anger. It was clearly meant to hurt me but was truly out of character for him. It hurt me deeply.

It did make us both realize that we needed counseling and I am happy to say that many years later, we are very happy.

It did make me take stock in myself, however. It was a slap in the face and made me realize that whether he said it or not, he was not attracted to me in that condition. And even more importantly, he was not attracted to me because I wasn't taking care of myself.

So my advice is the following:
1. Lose weight for you, not for him.
2. Tell him how much it hurt you and ask him truthfully if he loves you. The reality is, he can still love you but be turned off for some reason. If he says he does love you, then make the effort to work through this, as painful as it is.

Good luck.

Friday, August 20, 2010, 4:18 PM

Add comment
Out of curiosity - how attracted to him are you?

I agree with teh PP about counseling. Even if he won't go - you should because after years of putting up with that, it's going to take more than us telling you that you're worth it and that you don't have to take this.


Friday, August 20, 2010, 4:27 PM

Add comment

Related Content:

How To Lose Weight- The Basics
Weight Watchers Points System
The Fat Smash Diet
The Eat To Live Diet
The Beck Diet Solution
How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight


How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer

How To Burn Fat
Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works
Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight?
Tips On Using PEERtrainer
Visit The PEERtrainer Community
Diet and Fitness Resources


Weight Watchers Meetings
Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are
Writing Down Your Daily Workouts
Spending Money On A Personal Trainer?
How I Became A Marathon Runner


Preventive Health

How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout
Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot?
Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer?
Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy
Reversing Disease Through Nutrition

New Diet and Fitness Articles:

Weight Watchers Points Plus
How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise
New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program
New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive
Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program

Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne:

Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough
How To Delay Short Term Gratification
How To Stay Motivated
How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule

Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions

Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight?
Are Protein Drinks Safe?
Nutrition As Medicine?

Everyday Weight Loss Tips

How To Eat Healthy At A Party
How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight
The Three Bite Rule
Tips On How To Stop A Binge