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Caught between weightloss & having another baby...dilemma

here's the deal...i'm 37..two girls....my husband and I would like to have another to add to our little family BUT there are a couple things that I'm having some trouble coming to terms with:

1) the baby weight from our 20mos old is still hanging around...so if we are blessed to get pregnant again i could balloon up to an even more unhealthy weight

2) we're 37 years old...now i don't think that's particularly old but when I think about it, truly, i wonder if that's too old for me to have a baby...i'll be 38 (most likely) when he/she would arrive...56 when he/she would be 18 and off to college (god-willing)

I'm struggling...do we have another bundle of joy now or wait until i get healthier which could be a year or more...which would mean I'm a year or more older? I'm torn....

thoughts?


Tue. Oct 30, 11:39am

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it's never the right time, so don't time it

1) Yes, you will probably gain weight. So plan to minimize the damage. Start walking daily. Now. Start eating more healthful foods. Now. Eliminate toxic foods from your diet. Now. And start doing more things to make you feel happy and that give you a positive body self image! :)

2) 37 is not too old to have a baby. The ladies in Europe and other countries have them well into their early 40s without pharmaceuticals. A healthy body is capable. I think if you take proper care of yourself, you won't have any fear about being willing and able- bodied to care of your children when you are well into your 50s and 60s. You should be vibrant, healthy and thriving well into your golden years.

So... you want to wait until you are healthier. How healthy are you now? Do you currently lead a healthy lifestyle? Why or why not? Are you willing to change your current lifestyle choices to be able to see a vibrant and healthy older age?

Tuesday, October 30, 2012, 12:20 PM

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I have known of quite a few women who did not gain any weight when pregnant. My mom actually lost weight when she was pregnant with me. If you are obese (you did not mention your weight) it is actually not recommended to gain more than 5-10 lbs.

I had a strategy with my second baby that I wanted to "re-use" the baby weight I had already gained with the first. And it worked, mostly. My theory was that I would go swimming my entire pregnancy. That did not work out since after 3 months I felt too tired to make it across the pool! After that I joined prenatal water aerobics. I didn't really diet, mostly I really tried to not eat more because I was pregnant. I gained only about 10-15 lbs and most of it was in the last month.

But....
Having a baby when you are overweight is much riskier. And it's a pain in the butt because if you are in a high-risk group there are a lot of extra tests and appointments. Having a baby after age 35 is also considered very high risk. I'm not sure people really take these high risks unless it is unplanned or it is their first and only child. You should really look into the risks before you decide. You can discuss these things with your doctor, and it will depend on how your last pregnancy went.





Friday, January 18, 2013, 8:03 PM

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I had a baby at 41 and ran road races until I was 7 months pregnant. If you're healthy and take care of yourself your late 30s is definitely not too old to have a baby!

Your goals can go hand in hand until you get pregnant. Eat healthfully now. Eat reasonable portions now. Exercise now. Lose weight now. Once your pregnant you can continue to eat healthfully, eat reasonable portions (you only need a few extra calories when you're pregnant - about one snack's worth - it's not a lot of extra food) and continue exercising. And depending upon how much extra weight you're carrying you may still lose weight despite not restricting calories.

If you anticipate ballooning up you will. If you've already determined it's going to happen then you mentally give yourself permission to to gain a bunch of weight with the rationalization 'I'm pregnant." It doesn't have to be that way. And who knows how long it could take. You could make some serious progress toward losing that baby weight in the time it takes you to get pregnant. If nothing else you can train your brain and your tastebuds to eat well, eat less and turn to other things when you're not feeling well, when you're stressed, when you're tired, etc. All the things that go along with raising two kids already and being pregnant!

Lastly, three kids is a MAJOR game changer!! I never knew how easy life with two was until I had three!! You will need to be in great shape to get through it in one piece! Start today!!

Saturday, January 19, 2013, 2:04 PM

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It's true, there is never a good time to have a baby. I have had two friends that decided to wait until they lost weight before having another baby... and neither of them lost the weight. I'm not saying you won't, but if you want to get pregnant, I would suggest just going for it and not putting conditions on it.

Soooo many women are having babies after age 35. I know there are more risks, but the risks are still quite low. If you get good prenatal care, then chances are things will be fine.

Monday, January 21, 2013, 10:51 PM

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I agree with the other posters on making sure you establish the healthy habits now while trying to get pregnant. I am also speaking from the perspective as a 40yo (with a 47yo husband) and we are trying to get pregnant with a second child. I have been surprised at how long it is taking us to conceive! So I guess you can never tell if there will be a delay until you try. Like you, I'm not at prepregnancy weight but I'm trying to eat well and get physical activity as much as possible and in preparation for pregnancy (fingers crossed). I agree with other posters that a healthy lifestyle now - even if you are trying to conceive - can only benefit you and your baby in the end. Good luck!

Wednesday, January 30, 2013, 1:06 PM

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