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really upset about lack of support.
So on my time abroad with school, I decided that I really enjoy being more active. So now that I'm going home I've signed up for a few fitness classes and I bought a bicycle because biking is something that I really enjoy doing and I plan to commute by bike when I can.
So far today every single person I have excitedly told about my plan ( All of them in shape and involved in exercise themselves) has laughed at me and said something along the lines of " yea right we'll see how that works out" or " but you're so lazy" or "what a waste of money" or has criticized my specific choices. Its really upsetting me because its actually very unexpected. I have such a supportive family and friends and these comments came from my mother my sister and my best friends. I was so excited, and now I'm so hurt. Its hard to not feel like they could be right, or like I'm a joke, and I'm frustrated at myself for letting them have that power over me. It also puts alot more pressure on succeeding in the new things I try...what if I dont and I become a joke? I just feel really sad that they werent excited with me or atleast optimistic. It really hurts.
Mon. May 15, 8:44pm
p.s.- I FORGOT TO MENTION ITS MY BIRTHDAY! THESE THINGS ARE A BIRTHDAY PRESENT TO MYSELF...ugh.
Monday, May 15, 2006, 8:49 PM
Show them you mean business. Sometimes we improve ourselves with the support of others and sometimes we do it in spite of them. At the end of the day these changes are going to affect your life not theirs. So, even though you are a little injured that these people aren't taking you seriously the best way to get them to do so is to succeed.
Happy Birthday! May you have many happy bike rides!
Monday, May 15, 2006, 9:15 PM
People in your life may love you but that doesn't mean they know how to support you emotionally. You have made the decision to improve your life by being more physically active. GOOD FOR YOU! No one else can do that for you. You have to do it for yourself. It's nice to have the support of people around you. But if you don't have it with your family and friends, you can always find it here. Get on that bike, take a ride, then come back and let us know how it went. And...Happy Birthday!!
Monday, May 15, 2006, 9:25 PM
Celebrate YOU and know that your friends on PT are here to support you! Sorry to hear about your family not being supportive....
I have a mom who constantly tells me I'm heavy, and that I need to work out, but doesn't understand when I actually spend the time doing it, too! My advice is that you make this a personal goal-- one that you don't necessarily voice to them until YOU have succeeded for yourself... In other words, let your actions speak louder than your words! Do the exercise and workouts for YOUR benefit and tell yourself that YOU can do it, vs. letting their negative thoughts take over....
If you keep feedin yourself with positive energy, hopefully, they will soon sit up and take notice as you accomplish your own fitness goals and SUCCEED, despite their misgivings.....
Sometimes, family and friends feel like they can "tell you what they think" without realizing that they are doing it in a negative manner and actually hurting you.....
In the meantime, celebrate your own renewed spirit, do what you need to do to make yourself feel good and to be happy. Down the road, when they realize that you are serious, hopefully, they will come around and realize that you were doing this for YOUR benefit and not theirs...
Monday, May 15, 2006, 10:12 PM
I was in a similar situation 4 years ago... I was over wieght and extremly unhappy with myself. I decided to take some time for me and improve my life for the better. When I began making life changes (nothing drastic- I went to the gym and ate healthier) it was met by the same sarcastic, unsupportive remarks as you are getting. Even my fiance (we had been together for 7 years) said that I should stop "wasting money" because I was never going to stick with it anyways.
Well 4-years later I have met my goals and created new ones, found a new more supportive partner, and "proved" my family wrong. My aunt- one of my biggest critics- has even been inspired to start her own weight loss journey and totally kicked ass.
Hang in there- it doesn't matter what anyone says. Yes, it can and probably will hurt, but you'll end up hurting yourself more in the end if you don't make this change. You can do it- and you'll be amazed at how easy it will become to just ignore those unsupportive comments and how good you'll feel when the comments become positive because your family and friends are noticing how much better you look. You may have some people who will never support you, but that could be them feeling regrets because at one time they weren't strong enough to make the change to better themselves as you are doing. Don't give your family and friends the satisfaction by quitting- you'll do it, you'll be a better person because of it and it will feel oh so good!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006, 10:18 AM
Isn't it terrible how people do that? Don't let them bring you down. If it helps, I think that sort of thing usually is based in the person's own insecurity. Seeing your enthusiasm and ambition makes them feel inadequate. Take pity on them -- have fun, do your thing, and you will help inspire them to live up to their own best potential too!
as Ani sez:
"God help you if you are a phoenix
and you dare to rise up from the ash
a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
while you are just flying past"
I think, honestly, as a female you have to learn at some point to stop looking for other people's approval -- even other women (especially other women???) aren't comfortable with women being ambitious and take-charge, and perhaps better than them, in any aspect of life.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006, 10:50 AM
you can always channel your Taurus energies -- put your head down and barrel through!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006, 10:51 AM
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