OT relationships

So, I have been dating the same guy for 1 year plus, well it will be 2 years in January. When I got divorced, I said I will date a guy for 2 years and well if it doesn't "feel" right then it is over! Well here is my problem... Since we have been dating we have broken up 2 times for a total of about a month, well I don't want to be one that is "settled" for, you know and sometimes I think maybe that is what is happening. My marriage ended after 3 years and we lived together for YEARS before we got married I don't want to have the same thing happen again, where I should have just stayed friends. I love my bf now, but I don't see us ever married, it's not the sex or anything like that but more of the child raising and home life styles... Finally my question, I have heard others say this, 2 years and if you don't want to marry or move in together end it but how do you decide to end something when you love someone but don't think it will work out for forever?

Mon. Sep 11, 3:13pm

That is a tough situation. It kind of sounds like you know what you need to do, but it is so hard to do it. I think that the child raising and life style stuff is a big deal. If you don't see yourself married to this man I would say don't waste any more of your time, if, of course, marriage is what you are looking for. Can you take a step back and agree to start dating other people?

Monday, September 11, 2006, 3:40 PM

This is just my opinion but it doesn't sound like it would be the best marriage in the world. Maybe you just need to seperate for a short time and see how it works. Of course you could lose him. Can you love him for better or worse?

Wednesday, September 13, 2006, 3:52 AM

Cut your losses. Give him an ultimatum. Thers some saying about a butterfky Let it go and if it was neant to be it will fly back Good Luck. I will say a little pray for you.

Sunday, September 24, 2006, 3:17 AM

I agree with 3:40 - I think you have made the decision, you just aren't sure how to carry it out. I think that perhaps you should end it and spend some time just being yourself and learning how to love you without a man around. It can be quite fun and liberating for sure...then when the right guy does come around you can appreciate him for all that he is and all that he brings to the relationship. Don't waste your time and energy on a dead-end relationship just because you don't know what to do...I did it and I regret every minute of it.

Sunday, September 24, 2006, 11:00 AM

I also agree with the 3:40 and 11:00 posters. You can love someone and yet realize that you're not a *fit*. It isn't about giving someone an ulitmatum, but rather just knowing that your lives are diverging. It's better to know now than later. That just how life works out sometimes. The end of a relationship doesn't have to be about one partner being at fault. It sounds like you know yourself well enough and have made your decision. Following through is the hardest part and worrying that it might be a mistake is human.

Monday, September 25, 2006, 12:25 AM

What do you want? I mean do you want to settle down again and get married. Do you want to date and see new people? Do you want to just be with somebody? If your not anxious to meet somebody new and you still love this guy then why put a time limit on it? Just be with him without being married, why even get married again. There are many questions to ask yourself. You just have to pick the right question and then answer it. Sounds simple right? Not a chance. Everybody is different and you shouldn't be pressured to conform to what society thinks is right, you don't have to be pressured into a commitment from your boyfriend and you definatly can change your mind about giving yourself 2 years with a guy, Just because you set some guidelines for yourself doesn't mean you need to make a decision before your ready. Think about it and then do what you think is right. One more thing. Don't be afraid to break up with him if you really don't think its right. It will be better now then later and when/if you do break up with him evaluate whether or not to remain friends, I would n't think it would be a good idea since you broke up and got back together 2 times. Have a good night.

Manurse

Monday, September 25, 2006, 12:27 AM

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