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ot-ever record your spouse yelling at you?

i watched a re-run of Everybody Loves Raymond and Ray was fed up with his wife yelling at him one minute then being all nice-nice the next. so he tape-recorded her in a screaming rant and later, during another argument, played back the tape for her to hear. she was mortified. i wonder how regular people would react to that sort of thing? i think i would also be horrified, but looking at it objectivly first, it might prove to be a useful tool in resolving some anger issues. opinions?

Fri. Sep 22, 11:40am

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Lol- I think it would send me into another rant if my husband did that.... I mean I know I yell sometimes.... and he knows it too. Instead we say "Code Red!" when the other person seems to be overreacting about something.

Code Red is great because is kind of injects a little humor into the situation (because you have to say it in a funny southern-type accent: "Code Red!, We've got a Code Red here!") It makes us both stop and really think about the situation- are we overreacting? Is this tone of voice necessary? I think this is a better option then whipping out the ol' tape recorder and bringing up a dead subject- with Code Red you deal with your issues at the time- recognize where it went bad, and move on with your life- except this time hopefully a little more aware of how to react in a future situation.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:02 PM

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12:02 - that's really funny - and healthy, i think! I need my internal voice to say that when I'm yelling at my kids!

Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:29 PM

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i've never recorded someone yelling at me or been recorded, but i think that seeing or hearing yourself recorded is a really useful tool in general. taking that step backward and looking at ourselves from another perpective lets you see things you wouldn't have otherwise.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:40 PM

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I had a "friend" secretly record a telephone conversation between the two of us once. When she played it back, she heard her own inflammatory statements for the first time, realized that she was the problem, and called me a few hours later to confess her taping and apologize. Needless to say, I learned to kept my distance from her after that strange little episode.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 1:38 PM

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1:38 again... keep, not kept.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 1:51 PM

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