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Do interactions w/your parents trigger binges?

I ate an entire bage of Chex Mix. 1500 calories on top of a full day of meals and snacks. Why? My guess is it's a reaction after speaking to my Mom. There's no pleasing her and I still hope to get a sliver of approval. Typical senario, when I called her w/some news that made me absolutely joyful - she counted w/some gloom and doom story. Couldn't even celebrate me for 1 second. I don't know how to ignore her and her remarks other than to hide and not call or return calls unless she leaves me a specific message. Didn't work though because she's wise to me now.
Has anyone else worked through this? Please advise me I need some tips. Thanks.


Tue. Oct 3, 11:28pm

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I sure haven't worked through it. If misery loves company, though...

Tuesday, October 03, 2006, 11:42 PM

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Therapy might help you work through some of those issues.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006, 9:21 AM

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what helped me was constantly reminding myself that my mother will be who she is no matter how i react, so i need to react to her in a way that is best for ME. i have learned to say what i think about her criticisms and lack of support-although i do not use emotionally charged language. for example, last month i went to visit a friend who lives 800 miles away. i drove. my mother expressed grave concern that i would be pulling off the highway in a strange town in order to get some rest during my trip. she went on about serial killers and that kind of stuff. i could feel my anger building and just plainly stated that her fear and worries were HER problems and she needed to address them without involving me. i also told her that i felt like she was smothering me with all of this concern. she said she was just trying to help. i then told her that when i wanted help, i would ask for it. now, the way i handled that situation did not change how she felt or even how she reacted to me. but i did not react to how she felt, i reacted to how I felt. that was a big difference than many encounters of the past. all you can do is control yourself and your behavior, not the things she will say or how she will react to you. it is definitely a difficult situation, but not impossible to learn how to live with.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006, 9:41 AM

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Absolutely, my parents trigger binges! lol
Although less so once I realized that my parents were the ones who gave me such a bad relationship with food in the first place! (food=love, finish-your-plate, eat your yucky vegetables to get the yummy dessert, meatmeatmeat, etc.)
Plus, my mom destroyed my self-esteem over obsession with my weight -- the irony? Now that I've lost weight and am fit, by changing my eating and exercise habits, they are resentful about it!
The lesson, I'm afraid, is that there's no changing them, and there's probably no pleasing them. And its probably about them, not you, anyway. The older and crazier my parents get, the more I have to simply humor them like small children, rather than honestly open up to them... It's very sad.
And previous poster -- well said! I think your approach is very wise.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006, 10:11 AM

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When my brother and I were in our early teens, my mom told us that we would be struggling with our weight for our entire lives, that it's just the way it is. She also discouraged us from running, as "other people are built for running- you aren't." As well as most organized sports.

I started losing weight this year, and I was feeling pretty roud of myself. I told my mom, and she responded "well, what makes you think it'll work this time?" It's her belief that the only way anyone can lose weight is throught weight watchers.

After listening to her beat me down for a couple minutes, I stopped her and told her that what I really need from her right now is to be positive. I told her that I needed her to encourage me and to not tell me I'm doing it wrong. I told her that I need her to be encouraging when I tell her that I'm running, not tell me that I'll destroy my knees. She's been pretty good about it ever since.





Wednesday, October 04, 2006, 10:38 AM

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