britney

can't someone do something about this tragedy that's unfolding right before our eyes? if she was my sister, she would be in rehab, even if that meant she was there involuntarily.

Tue. Feb 20, 1:37pm

i think she's fine-she's trying to break out of this "box" she's been in since she was a kid. people should just leave her alone and not make such a big deal about her shaving her head, getting tatoo's, partying etc. she's in her 20's and in the middle of a divorce-i think she's doing what a lot of us have done at her age or would be if we were in her situation. all this talk of "britney's gone crazy" probably just make the girl feel worse!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007, 1:41 PM

she wandered into a hotel in the wee hours of sat morning and without her ID or money or credit cards. and she was blitzed. the management refused to provide a room for her because they did not want to be held responsible for whatever may happen in her room. some random couple let her go up to their room, and then brought her to the gift shp to try on bikinis. then she tried, unsuccessfully, to rent a car. she is not just being a girl in her 20's, she's very publicly out-of-control. and who's taking care of her kids?

Tuesday, February 20, 2007, 1:54 PM

fisrt you cant force someone to go to rehab...second what is so wrong with what she is doing? yes she has kids but im sure they are being taken care of. i dont know? is she 21? if so then she is legal to drink right and i dont think last i check it was illegal to get a tatoo or your head shaved? now if she is drinking and driving then i see a problem. being drunk in a public place?? she would not be the first or the last.... so what exactly is the issue?

Tuesday, February 20, 2007, 2:15 PM

She doesn't need rehab - she needs a therapist, a positive role model, and a good long hug.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007, 3:19 PM

I just feel sorry for her 2 little boys. Who is raising them, a nanny? While mom is out getting trashed every night trying to "break out of her box"? Sorry but it's about time for her to take responsibility for her actions.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007, 3:26 PM

Breaking news... According to TMZ, Britney just entered rehab (again), at the request of her mom and her family. Now everyone can relax!

Link

Tuesday, February 20, 2007, 3:32 PM

3:26 poster...what about the dad..why isnt he being harassed fro not taking care of HIS children..always the mom gets the responsibility

Tuesday, February 20, 2007, 4:25 PM

i doubt she will stay if she didnt want to go..

Tuesday, February 20, 2007, 4:26 PM

dad is fighting for custody under the argument that brittany is an unfit mother.....her latest actions do not argue well for her.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007, 5:28 PM

Eh, he just wants more $$ for child support. It's not about the kids.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007, 5:55 PM

Where is her mother?? Where are her kids??

Wednesday, February 21, 2007, 7:02 AM

Why do you care?

Wednesday, February 21, 2007, 8:16 AM

because i like being aware of pop-culture. and it's interesting how in my neighborhood, if a mother was behaving the way this young lady has been, our neighborhood would give a shit and try to do something. but because britney is famous, people would rather track and photograph her bad behavior as she acts out more and more. (and this is true with a lot of celebrities.)

or was your question rhetorical?

Wednesday, February 21, 2007, 8:59 AM

new news..she shaved her head so her ex couldnt do a drug test on it

Wednesday, February 21, 2007, 10:59 AM

again, spent just a day in rehab. this must be so hard on her kids!!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007, 1:52 PM

her kids are to young to even know....

Wednesday, February 21, 2007, 10:53 PM

her family checked her into rehab (the 2nd time) against her will. then she checked out again.

it's sad to watch someone's life fall apart before our eyes - and that it is splashed all over the tv as "entertainment." that's what happened to anna nicole smith too.

Thursday, February 22, 2007, 8:03 AM

her kids are not too young to know that their mother is not around.

Thursday, February 22, 2007, 9:02 AM

how old are they?

Thursday, February 22, 2007, 9:34 AM

one is 2 years, i think and the other is 6 months...i think...

Thursday, February 22, 2007, 9:51 AM

They were both born in September, I think, or maybe October; a little less than a year apart. So, one is a year and 5 or 6 months, the other is just 5 or 6 months. They certainly do not know that their mom is in rehab; likely, they are spending time with a nanny or their grandma. They don't know what is going on!

Thursday, February 22, 2007, 10:07 AM

I wish I could find the research study I read several years ago, but I've googled and cannot find it. Anyway, the conclusion of the study was that the incidence of depression in mothers increases for every child in the home under the age of 6. That conclusion certainly fits experiences I've seen. As a society, we really need to find a way to provide more support to mothers with young children.

Thursday, February 22, 2007, 12:37 PM

or women who are unfit should not have babies...nip it in the bud! and by unfit, i mean those who are either emotionally, physically, psychologically, spiritually, or financially unable to cope with the enormous responsibilities.

Thursday, February 22, 2007, 12:55 PM

A license to operate a uterus?
Hm, maybe this belongs on the Nazi thread.

Thursday, February 22, 2007, 1:04 PM

i don't even know what that means.

girls should be educated from early puberty about the real costs, not just financial costs, associated with raising a child. if a girl cannot act responsibly when it comes to safe sex, how can she be trusted to teach her child(ren) the lessons she did not learn? one does not need a "license", but there ought to be a lot more educational focus on what it means to become a parent, before a girl gets pregnant not just afterwards. and you want to bring up the idea of freedom to give birth? well, how about my freedom to not have to financially support abandoned, neglected or abused children who are wards of the state? how about a child's freedom to a safe life, with food, water, shelter and love?

Thursday, February 22, 2007, 1:17 PM

It's a sad day when even women forget that it takes two to make a baby and yet lay all the blame at the woman's door.

Thursday, February 22, 2007, 1:24 PM

it's like when you cosign a loan for someone. when the person who gets the loan defaults, the cosigner is held responsible for the rest of the debt. when a man fails to be there for a woman and his children, she usually gets stuck with the responsibilities. it takes two to get a woman pregnant, but it only takes a demand to use a condom to avoid most pregnancies. would you cosign a loan for someone who does not pay their bills? would you have unprotected sex if you cannot deal with having a baby? the whole issue of freedom of choice should focus more on the very real choice to NOT HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX WITH SOMEONE if you are not able to raise a child. FYI, i did not forget that it takes two..., but i remember the countless women i've known who are barely getting by because they chose to allow a man to get them pregnant., some more than once!! if you can't afford a car payment, don't cosign your boyfriend's car loan. he will drive away with the car while you are stuck with the bills.

Thursday, February 22, 2007, 1:37 PM

She's back in rehab again! 3rd time this week! And Federline's court date got cancelled (he was trying to get her to court today, potentially to bring up her recent behavior in regards to their ongoing custody battle...)

Maybe she checked into rehab just so she wouldn't have to go to court? Anyway, she's baaaack!

Link

Thursday, February 22, 2007, 2:37 PM

those kids may not know what is going on, but i bet they feel the stress of living in that kind of home situation. i've seen babies, under 6 months old, who have problems eating because they're moms are so wigged out. let someone else feed them? no problems. put them in a different environment - no problems. put them back in the home full of stress with a crazy mom, problems. and the difference is noticeable within days to weeks.

Thursday, February 22, 2007, 6:19 PM

To February 22, 2007, 12:37 PM -
I would love to read more about this kind of study. And just yesterday I was lamenting this fact - that there really isn't GOOD help for mothers who are stressed, depressed, etc. Mothers groups are fine for chatting and random comiserating, but when you feel like an utter failure and feel like you're at the end of your rope, where do you go? You don't go to the mothers groups. How do admit your short comings to them? How do you tell them without feeling judged - - even if these are NICE people?

To February 22, 2007, 12:55 PM -
I felt much more "fit" to have children BEFORE I had children. And I babysat/nannied for years! I knew all about all the responsibilities. There were no surprises here. I knew all the tips and tricks of dealing with whatever could come up in the process of raising kids. Then I had kids. Having children changes you - emotionally, physically, spiritually, hormonally, etc.

I'm not defending Britney Spears' behavior. I don't know her personally. And she very well could be an awful person. I don't know. But I think she's just feeling stressed and alone and overwhelmed. I do feel bad for her children and I feel bad for her. And I hope she is able to get some real help soon.

oh - one more comment... shaving her head was definitely on the "extreme" side of things, but it may just be the only thing she felt she had control over at the time. I understand that feeling.

Friday, February 23, 2007, 11:40 AM

Hi 11:40, this is 12:37. Thank you so much for your thoughtful and eloquent expression of this dilemma. I especially like your statement that, "I felt much more 'fit' to have children before I had children." My heart goes out to Britney and I wish I had the answers. As a young mother, I descended into clinical depression as well. Fortunately, I had privacy and just enough access to resources to get the help I needed, but I don't think I really started to breathe again until my youngest entered kindergarden, creating a little space in my day. Perhaps if we were able to give more breathing space to young mothers, we could alleviate some of the stress of the incredible responsibilities they are under.

Friday, February 23, 2007, 12:05 PM

11:40 here

ack. my youngest is only 7 months old!
But there is a light at the end of this VERY long tunnel, right...? : )

Friday, February 23, 2007, 12:23 PM

it's been my experience that mothers who properly prepared themselves for children actually enjoy motherhood and all of the responsibilities that go with it. they are not burdeoned or stressed about the journey, and are not generally in need of a "break" from their daily lives.

Friday, February 23, 2007, 12:44 PM

12:37 here again. Dear 11:40, Oh gosh, I didn't realize I was talking to someone still in the depths of "the tunnel". And yes, that is exactly the analogy I used to help me get through the tough times -- I just kept hoping that the light at the end was not a train. So yes, I'm here to say that it is a genuine light. I'm in the empty nest years now, and my kids are in their 20s. We still have rough patches, but I do enjoy them, and it is a pleasure to see that all that sacrifice seems to have been worth it. They seem to be turning out okay (they still tease me about some of trite phrases I use from my therapy days... "how do you feel about that?")

I'm trying to remember some of my coping skills for the difficult times. Here's a few:
a) Meeting hubby at the door with a child in hand, yelling "It's Your Turn!"
b) My youngest was very social and I could not create enough social activity for her, despite numerous play groups. I finally enrolled her in 3-year-old kindergarden, which kind of shortened the tunnel a bit.
c) I took advantage of all those church programs like "Mother's Morning Out".
d) I joined a baby-sitting co-op.

I hope those ideas help.

Another thought about Britney... she keeps leaving therapy because she doesn't want to leave her kids. I think most mothers know that the lioness and her cubs instinct is very strong. I wish someone would think to get Britney a live-in therapist, or otherwise provide a way for her to get therapy without leaving her children.

Friday, February 23, 2007, 12:48 PM

Dear 12:44, there is a classic book on the subject you mention. It's called The Feminine Mystique, by Betty Friedan.

Friday, February 23, 2007, 1:04 PM

Wow, 12:44. With so much experience and wisdom, you should teach a class to the rest of us. Please give us your credentials so we know where your experience is based. And please elaborate on what you mean by "properly prepared." I'm very interested to know.

Monday, February 26, 2007, 11:19 AM

11:19, it's best to ignore know-it-alls like 12:44 (who probably doesn't even have children but will claim otherwise). They're attention-seekers, so why give them what they want? Besides, I'm beginning to think there's one angry, judgmental member with a superiority complex poisoning half the threads in this forum.

Monday, February 26, 2007, 12:27 PM

1244 here

just because i have not experienced the sort of troubles with attending to my children non-stop as some of you have experienced is no reason to mock my comment or patronize me. i have other stresses in my life, they just don't happen to be based on my children's needs for my time and energy. it sounds like, after reading the thread, many mothers feel overwhelmed or burdeoned by the time and energy they need to raise their children. i happen not to feel that way and the reason, in my opinion, is that i had a career and my "own life" before i got married and had children. it was something i always planned for, financially and otherwise. i took the trips i wanted to take, went to the places i wished to visit, had all kinds of different romantic (and some not-so-romantic) relationships before i wondered "what is it that will make me the most happy and able to contribute to another?" i'm not claiming to be better than any of you, maybe just more prepared to sacrifice all of my time and energy. i thought this was a forum for expressing our thoughts on the topic at hand.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007, 9:06 AM

"11:19, it's best to ignore know-it-alls like 12:44 (who probably doesn't even have children but will claim otherwise). They're attention-seekers, so why give them what they want? "

and then you go on to discuss how there is one angry, judgemental member w/ a superiority complex...ironic. classic case of the pot calling the kettle black.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007, 10:24 AM

i just read that britney booked an entire wing for herself at the facility.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007, 3:40 PM

apparently she is getting out soon. and i read that she is really doing great! i will be so psyched if she comes out of this with a better lifestyle.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007, 3:19 PM

the poor girl-i have never been a britney fan (don't dig pop music at all) but i have a lot of sympathy for her now. she's had a lot of the years the rest of us use to figure our lives out, and who we are, under close scrutiny, and choreographed by managers/work-can you imagine the stress level? i bet any one of us would crack under the same pressure (especially trying to raise 2 kids and go through a divorce at the same time). i think she just needs a log vacation from the public life. Hopefully she comes back out on top after all this!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007, 4:32 PM

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