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How will I act after I lose the weight...

I'm concerned that after I lose this weight, I will be a different person. I have been skinny in the past and I was very flirtatious, I cheated on my husband at the time and loved the attention I got form men. Have any of you ladies thought that far ahead?

Wed. Jun 13, 2:55pm

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No different I hope. Just because you lose weight, doesn't mean your a new person. Soak in the attention, just don't act on them if you are in a committed relationship.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 3:08 PM

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If you don't like who you were before, and now you have the hindsight to see the pattern of bad behavior, I think it is very unlikely that you'll repeat it again.

I never got too big to be flirted with, but, when I was in college, I was a huge flirt and dated lots of different people; then I met my husband, right after college, and I was done with all the stuff before. My friends can't believe how different I act, having been in a committed relationship for 3 years now, after an EXTREMELY short attention span before that, but, I'm done with that part of my life and on to another part. Regardless of my weight, I am who I am now, because of my past.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 3:14 PM

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I'm totally commited to this relationship, but it's close to a "no sex" marriage. I fear that I will revert back to my old ways. Someone else has to have these issues...please advise.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 3:17 PM

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I think it is okay to feel great about yourself when you lose weight. to feel sexy. It's part of the reward. Maybe this time you should focus that energy (that flirtation, and sex) on your husband. It's always okay to flaunt what you've worked so hard to achieve... Just be aware of your actions. And absorb the attention, appreciate it, but don't let it interfere with your relationships.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 3:18 PM

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If a key motivating factor in losing weight is to rekindle your husband's desire for you and you don't get it...you've got something serious to worry about. But don't let the fear of confronting the problematic lack of sex in your marriage keep you from getting healthy - take some time to learn more constructive ways of coping than reaching for the Oreos so you don't start rebounding.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 3:22 PM

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How you will act after, vs. a sexless marriage now, are two totally different issues. I advise working on the sexless marriage portion now, while you're working on losing the weight (assuming you're not the kind of girl who is happy in a sexless marriage.) Sometimes it seems hard, but if it's just laziness, feeling unattractive, tiredness, try lighting some candles (everyone looks good in candlelight), turning on some soft music, and just seeing how things go. Try to push yourself to do things like this more often. Soon you'll see it reciprocated too. It's like a habit, and the more you do it, the more you want it, and vice versa. If it's deeper than that, try talking about it, etc.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 4:14 PM

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I think you will be a wonderful wife. You regret what you did in the past and that's a good sign it wont happen again. People of all sizes cheat on their spouses.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 4:24 PM

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if you were unfaithful before your weight gain, it seems that your marriage already had it's problems. infidelity can be curbed by a lack of self-esteem, but i think you should seek the truth behind it. why is your marriage sexless, now? because of your weight? why did you stray from your marriage before? was it sexless then, too? i don't think, given the information you've shared, that any of us can really grasp the issue at the heart of your behavior.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 4:25 PM

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when I lose 10lbs, I hope to be faster on my 5k runs.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007, 4:54 PM

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I sure hope you don't change. I too have been many different sizes over the years. It's fine to be a flirt if your husband is ok w/it. Doesn't mean you have to cheat on them but instead it should give your husband a high to see men "looking at you"...my husband enjoy when men look at me. We have a great relationship and we trust each other. As for you being different I would be more worried that you would be different to your female friends, acting better because you look better...don't ever be that way. A very close friend of mine went down a good 100 pounds. I still need to drop a good 30 to be where I 'd like to be...but she's to good for me now....and I hate to say it being as thin as she is ...doesn't even look good on her, she's flat every where now. But I would never say that...it's hurtful. I hope some day I can be at my goal and be as good of a person that I feel I am now at my heavy weight. Good luck, and don't go out on your husband....use it to find a new romance in your own life w/him!

Saturday, July 21, 2007, 2:55 PM

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When i lost 40 lbs 2 years ago, some one told me i turned into a bitch. I did. Sort of. Let me explain.

Before i lost those 40 lbs i used to get alot of attention from men in terms of flirting, comments, etc. Then i lost those 40 lbs and it got worse. I only became bitchy because i wanted to set my foot down and draw the line hwere things need to stop. I didnt realize what i was becoming until someone pointed it out. It openeed my eyes, and i went back to being my humble self and ignoring the crazy garbage from men.

Now i lost another 20 lbs and someone else told me i was actiong like i thought i was miss high and mighty. I think it was a joke and i sure hope so. If someone else says the same thing to me again i will freak out. I dont know what it is thats making me like this,

Saturday, July 21, 2007, 4:38 PM

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If you have a sex-less marriage, have you considered the very high possibility that your husband may be cheating on you?

Saturday, July 21, 2007, 10:04 PM

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