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affair at work?

I know you will all tell me not to do it, but assuming i'm going to do it anyway-- what do you think. been there, done that?

Wed. Sep 19, 4:53pm

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Being that you're going to anyway, my best advice is, don't tell anyone! Anyone! Not even your best friend! Not even the strangers here on PT. Someone will find out, and when they do, all hell will break loose.

Also, be prepared to leave your job at a moment's notice - you may be fired.

Finally, recognize that even if you aren't fired, if anyone at work finds out, it will get to upper management, and it will affect your chances for promotions, etc., especially if you are a woman (sorry, but it's true; this is a guy's world! I've seen it happen!)

Wednesday, September 19, 2007, 4:57 PM

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totally disagree, one can find love anywhere. Better at work than at a bar.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007, 5:02 PM

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i'm not going to tell you not to do it or to do it. It's up to you, just because it's not my style doesn't give me the right to tell you what to do.

I will tell you what i've experienced being an employee of a company that has this going on right now. It creates alot of anger and divisions amonst the workers. I feel bad for the girl in the relationship here because people aren't nice to her because of the affair, she's a nice gal, but receives raises more than others, special treatment, doesn't have to do her work, etc. You have to be prepared for the backlash.

are either of you married?

Wednesday, September 19, 2007, 5:03 PM

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you are right 4:57!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007, 5:04 PM

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I was in a very bad marriage, and had an affair at work. It wasn't right, but I did that.

I now love the man I had an affair with at work to the ends of the earth. I got divorced, and my 'affair' and I now have a son and are so happy. He is truly amazing and supportive.

People meet people at work. It happens.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007, 9:31 PM

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4:57pm poster here. The OP said "affair," not "relationship," or even "date." That implied to me that someone is unavailable, and doing it anyway. That's why I reacted how I did.

I am actually married to a man who works for the same company that I do (but a different subsidiary - we do not work together.) We were engaged before I began working here, and we never work on the same projects or in the same areas (as we are in different subsidiaries), so most people do not have a problem with it, but I have still gotten a few odd comments that tell me that I need to watch my behavior as well. I wouldn't change my situation for anything; it works for me. Just, OP, be careful! There is not much you can do to save a reputation once it has been ruined.

Thursday, September 20, 2007, 12:58 PM

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an affair as in cheating on your spouse or them on their's? don't do it!!!
an affair as in a tryst with someone new and exciting but available? go for it, but i agree keep it quiet and be professional at work no matter what may happen between you two.

Thursday, September 20, 2007, 12:59 PM

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I agree, be careful. My boyfriend and I worked very closely together and kept our relationship a secret for one year.

Finally, when we "came out" we had proven to everyone we can work together, professionally.

Everyone was really happy for us.

Thursday, September 20, 2007, 1:01 PM

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I think (and you asked) that you'll always be known as a cheater after this gets out. And even if it all "ends well", he can still do to you what you are doing to his current wife - you will not be exempt so be prepared.

Thursday, September 20, 2007, 3:24 PM

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DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, September 20, 2007, 3:30 PM

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