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Giving a guy space- how much is enough?

when a guy says he needs more space, what the heck does that mean? I'm pretty sure in my case he is not going anywhere. helllllp!

Wed. Jan 17, 1:38pm

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As a guy, I second that.

Let him alone and he'll understand that yo "get" him. Crowd him and you'll confirm his doubts.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007, 1:57 PM

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Generally speaking it means that he still wants to have sex with you without the commitment. If he wants space give him space. Doesn't mean you can't be happy to see him or enjoy his company, but do not give him the benefits that come with a relationship if he's not willing to be in one (ie: sex, financial support or co-habitation).

I would say act like you're dating, but not dating exclusively him. Make plans with your friends, don't be quite so available, be open to meeting other people, and just in general start moving on and see how he feels about that. If you just hang around, put your life on hold and come running to every booty call, then all you teach him is that you are desperate and will put up with whatever terms he wants to dictate and he learns how far he can push you. This may not be his concious thought process, but your actions will determine what he learns about your limits and your tolerance for his behavior. In short maintain your self-respect and don't allow him to push your boundaries for fear that you might lose him. Best wishes!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007, 1:59 PM

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if you find it very hard to give him space, try to pretend he is out of town or somehow unreachable. when someone wants space, or time alone, it is not necessarily a reflection of your behavior or how he feels about you. it may be he needs to assess himself and his needs as an individual and it is hard to do so while involved in a serious relationship. just as there may be a time for you to "need space" to regroup as a person rather than as a partner or lover or girlfriend or daughter or mother or whatever, others may need time away from their regular daily activities to get a better idea of what they want to accomplish with their life.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007, 2:09 PM

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When I would say "I need some space" what I was trying to communicate to my then girlfriend, now wife was that I needed some space.

Maybe I needed to spend a day goofing off and playing video games, or maybe I needed to just hang out by myself. What it generally boiled down to is "I'd love you a whole lot more if you gave me a chance to actually miss you."

Everyone needs alone time at some point.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007, 2:18 PM

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To the 2:18 poster

To 2:18pm commenter.
Wow, thank you for saying/typing that.
Lately i feel i have been feeeling that i have been not allowing my huby much guy time. Now, im going to make him take it! He need to have time thats his, weather he realizes it or not. Im going to let him miss me ;) hehee

Wednesday, January 17, 2007, 2:24 PM

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