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team details:

Team Name: Cheat System Diet 21 Day Challenge
Members: 295
Location: All, SD 00000



Goals:

Profile: I'm 44 and about 60 pounds overweight. I have 2 grown boys and 1 granddaughter which I watch on Tuesday, Wednesday's and Saturday's. I ride a Harley Davidson Roadking and my oldest son drives a race car on weekends and my youngest does demolition derby's so we are busy all summer long. I just need to take some time to focus on me again.

Last posted: Monday, April 11, 2016, 7:57 AM

Other Info:

Members profiles:
I'm male, 42, married with 2 children. I am one of the founders of PEERtrainer.











I am 39, I weigh 138 lbs. I am a mother of 5 children. I have had trouble with losing weight. I've become too settled with gaining the weight and not able to shake it off. I am here to try to gain support as well as hopefully encourage someone else.


I've lost 100 pounds since I started my lifestyle change in 2003, but I've been struggling over the past year to finish what I started.


50 single mom of 6 great kids aged 14-24








Disabled American Veteran, a widow, and most importantly the mother of two Special Needs children. I am a semi-retired Nurse, and I volunteer with several different groups.


44 yr old full time at home mom of 3 kids, oldest with autism, and youngest with ADD


54 y.o. woman; weight struggles most of life, but lost 100 lbs in high school, so used to be confident I can do it again, now I'm not so sure but must try. Sedentary job, but job permits going to gym, so recently found out about a couple of nearby gyms that are not heavily used.








Business owner and grandmother of 4. Turning 60 in August and want to enter this new era in great health.


I'm recently widowed, mother of 2 grown kids, have lost the weight before but as we get older it gets harder. Don't want to 'diet' want to learn a better way of eating that can be permanent.


42 years old


Single mom, working 2 jobs just to get by, blah blah. I am sure you have heard it all before lol. Bottom line is I have managed to lose about 60 lbs over the last few years but seem to struggle past that. I seem to bounce between a 10 lb range and right now it is UP! I just need to get focused and finish what I started. I am an emotional eater so when things seem to get tough in my life it has a major impact on my weight loss efforts.











I'm 47, married with 3 grown boys, and a grandmother to a super special little boy with his baby sister coming in August.





I had gastric bypass in 1996 lost over 100 lbs but I have gain some back and still need to learn to eat for life? I have 50 lbs to lose to be where I should be


I'm a 26 year old full time employee and full time student. I have binge eating disorder, so I compulsively and emotionally eat many times during the week. I know exactly what I need to do to lose weight, but that's difficult when my goal weight is almost 200 pounds away. Stress from work and school and money (no financial aid here!) makes it easier to binge, but I'm slowly learning how to use support and not beat myself up for it. I'm not a huge fan of exercising and cooking for one is always difficult. Hopefully PEERtrainer will help where others have failed.








I am a 48 year old mother of 2. I recently moved to a new city and started a new job and am having a very hard time motivating myself. I have never been over weight until I turned 40 and am finding it very difficult to stick to anything. I have started many "plans" but always end up giving up. I need something to be able to stick to and help me reach my goal. I have chronic pain and sometimes find it difficult to work out.








I am married 46 year old mother of two boys, 23 & 20. I sit most of the day between a desk job and commute to work that sometime drives me crazy. I workout in the morning before work because by nightfall I am too exhausted. I'm not overweight right now but been there many times in my life starting as a child. My relationship with food has always been a struggle.





I'm 5'5 and my average weight has been between 142-152 pounds for the last 5 years. My weight and food has been an issue since I was 16. My bad eating habits have left me with an unhealthy body at a very young age. My joints (especially knees and feet) feel better when I weigh between 132-135. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, food sensitivities, weather headaches, and a lot of stress. I feel much better when I stay away from processed food. I don't eat beef ,chicken, or pork. I do enjoy cheese and cream, and I eat salmon and eggs on a weekly basis.


I am a 42 year old recently divorced working single mother. I have 5 children, 4 of which are grown and a 13 year old daughter still living at home. My grandson and 23 year old daughter live with me as well. I am 40 lbs overweight and have struggled with my weight for quite a while now. I want to get this extra weight off and keep it off once and for all.








42 year old mother of active 8 & 3 year old who is a stay at home home mom and family manager.











54 yo Grandmother of 5, needing to change things up at bit, time to get back to fit and healthy


I am 48 years old , 5'2 and 129 pounds.


I am a 61 years old with lifelong weight issues. While working on a healthier lifestyle was introduced to unexpected retirement when job was outsourced late last year. Now adjusting to daughter and grand kids moving in. I forgot how much energy a 6 & 9 yr old have - keeps me moving.











I'm a 34 year old mother. I'm a stay at home mom to three children.


I'm 38 and getting married soon. That, honestly, is my current motivation to lose weight, as cliche as it sounds. And summer's coming. Since I first joined peer trainer a month ago I do feel I've been doing better with diet and exercise. I'm motivated to see results, and continue with a healthy lifestyle into the future. I want to move and see firmness where there is now flab. I need to make this a priority, b/c diet and exercise take a bit of planning and prioritization.


I am 64, own a travel agency and am a grandmother with a very busy grandson


69 year old military intelligence retiree. Authored 18 books, owns a bookstore, helps other authors get their books ready for publishing. Musician, storyteller, historical performer, self-defense trainer of over 11,000 people world wide.


I've got about 28 pounds to lose to get down into my healthy range..."12 or 13 kg" sounds less daunting to me, so I'm going with that...whatever works! I put on about 50 pounds with chemo eight years ago...the steroids, I'm told, accounted for about half of that...so I am trying to lose now the extra I got from eating-to-feel-better. Chemo kicked me into (and through) menopause, but the slower metabolism isn't doing me any favors, alas. For work, I travel about 50% of the time, and have used that as an excuse not to eat right about 50% of the time also. I'm married, with a daughter (physician) and a granddaughter (who is, of course, perfect in every way!), will retire this year and start law school next year-- a lifelong plan :) -- so I'd like to get rid of these excess pounds now...











I am a licensed social worker, mother of 4 boys (3 are adults a living independently and 1 at home). I am happily married to my best friend for 27 years. I am also a recovering addict of 25 years. Even though I try to work out I lose nothing but my motivation and I quit.





I am a 59 year old female, retired nurse Adjusting too an active retired life. I have a lap band and have lost 30 lbs in the last 3 years but now my weight is stuck at 195 lbs. Have health issues including, 2 partial Knee replacements ,and Chronic osteoarthritis Allergic to gluten and dairy but still have challenges being tempted by these food items.....


I'm 66 yrs old,a retired nurse. My weight has been an issue since childhood. My adult weight has fluctuated between 185-200# except during my 3 pregnancies. * I want to say that I have dieted on and off for 40 yrs to keep my weight there.now in retirement I have gained 15# in a short period of time.








58. Married. 2 daughters in their early 20's. I love health and fitness! I love to cook healthy meals. My obsession with food is the thing I need help with. I'm hoping accountability with help on that journey.





Just turned 53 in April. I have a husband of 10 yrs and a 12 yr old daughter. I'm currently doing the 21 Day Fix by BeachBody & I also jog.


My name is Heidi and I'm a married 46 year old mother of a 20 year old son, and 17 year old daughter.





I am 44, wife and mother of 3 boys. I love to exercise but find that I am always making excuses or I am too busy with my other daily activities with my kids and home.


37 year old woman looking to change my lifestyle and slim down.


50 years old (and loving it). 3 Teens/Tweens + 1 Husband + 1 Dog = Adrenal Stress. :-) I have learned that to live my "best life"…I have to avoid gluten, sugar, chocolate bars, and cocktails…sadly dairy is not my friend either. I cut out grains this January and don't miss them!




















I'm a 31 year old mother of two boys (5 and 2). I work full time as a Speech-Pathologist in the public schools.


36 year-old mom of two. Eat well most of the time, but crash when tired or busy. Want nutrition-based eating to provide me with more energy and long-term health benefits.


I'm a soon to be 39yr old working full time with an 18yr old daughter at home. Have been overweight for coming up 20 years.





38, married, mother of 1 (10yr old boy) and step mom to 1 (21yr old girl), work full time, also Event Chair for my local Relay For Life and son's cub scout den leader.


http://lovejoyandpeas.blogspot.com/





66, working, crazy schedule, semi-active

















I am 35 years old. Married, no kids.














48


I am 26 years old. Two boys (3 year old and 1 year old). I am working part-time at a law firm as a paralegal. Husband is active duty army. I gained 90lbs during my second pregnancy and am in the process of losing the weight. 60lbs gone, 25lbs to go! After my first pregnancy I gained and lost the baby weight and will do it again!


I'm 64, married, and gained about 35lbs over the past 3 years. If I don't do anything right now, I never will. I want to spend the last part of my life healthy and active.




















I am 53, happily married, one 11 yr old son and lots of critters at home, dogs and cats. Tired of feeling fat and unattractive. I am a school counselor and love the outdoors, sports, my home in Vermont.




















I'm a wife, a mother of two boys, an air force officer, and a family medicine physician. I love Jesus, good coffee, red wine, and Kings of Leon. I'm a wannabe yogini and meditator, and I want to kick cortisol's ass before it kicks mine :-)


I am a single mother to a 101year child with aspergers and adhd. The past few years have been devoted on getting him help and into the right schooling. He is in a good place and life is not nearly as stressful anymore. Time for me.


I'm over 60, a grandmother of 5, retired with my husband retired, I'm a reader, I play Words with Friends and Canasta on my Nook. I like to walk outside.
































I am a computer artist making kaleidoscopic images from photographs of nature.











59 yr old! Laid off from work 2 years ago! I was already 40lbs over weight, in my mind! I have gained an additional 12lbs since being at home and starting my home-based business! My exercise is now restricted because of OA in one of my hips.




















I am a 42 year old mom of 3 kids. I love being outdoors and active, but since the birth of my youngest nearly 6 years ago, I have become lost in the daily busy-ness of our family life, and I have gained 20 pounds. I do work out consistently, but I feel that my food choices are what is keeping me from losing. I don't feel like I eat terribly, but the weight doesn't budge, so obviously I'm doing something wrong!




















I am a musician and I perform regularly with a jazz group. I have been and done many, many things in the fields of education and social work/therapy over the years. This is the best thing of all and I am very happy with it.


Recovering endurance athlete looking for a different way to feel healthy and present in my body.


I'm 43 years old, 5' 7'' tall, currently 218lbs and have been trying to lose weight on and off for 20 years. I am based in South Yorkshire, England, have 3 kids (between 15 and 7 yrs old) and work part-time as a psychiatrist.








I have several health issues, limited on exercise due to needed knee replacements. Looking forward to doing this program.


44 yr old wife and mother. closet full of clothes and nothing fits. I want to lose this weight to feel better about myself and feeling healthier.


55, yo-yo weight, lost 53 pounds in weight watchers but gained 10 back and I'm scared that it is going right back up.





After 50, began losing muscle. Exercise and watch my food intake but something is missing as I've reached a plateau.








I am a mother to two beautiful children and a wife to my wonderful husband. I also work as a part time RN in our local community hospital in the ER.





55 years old * Breast cancer survivor - 11 years! Workaholic * I love to quilt * 3 beautiful grandchildren











I am 50 years young. CPA - own practice. Nearly empty nest . Quit smoking two years ago and have not been able to control my sweet tooth since.


Married for 40 years, work as a Med-Tech, two grown children, 5 grand children, like to read, go to movies, crochet and needlepoint.





I'm a 38 y/o female, 5' 6", starting weight 147; married with no human children but do have the other kind: one dog and two kitty-heads! Since being married – four years now -- I’ve gained 20+ pounds. Since then, I've had more "Tomorrow is the start of a new me" days than I can count! What has finally started working for me: Being an active member of Peer Trainer and following The Cheat System Diet. So grateful for both!
































I am 50 years old with a 14 year old boy and a 10 year old girl. Keep losing and gaining same 10lbs.


I am a certified nurse-midwife


52 year old married mom of a teenage boy. Work full time plus. Enjoy walking the dogs, spending time with friends and family.

















I am a 59 year old single mom. I am 5'5" tall and was at my heaviest ever (except when I was pregnant), weighing 152 in October 2009 when I began my weight loss with peertrainer in earnest. I had been "stuck" being overweight for 4 years, since I went through menopause - even though I ate well and exercised 3-4 times a week. Menopause came and went relatively easily, but ever since, I just could not seem to lose weight using any of my "old tricks". I lost the first 12 pounds in less then two months the next 12 pounds by summer of 2010.


31, lawyer, busy work and active social schedule. Fighting those last 5ish pounds and ready to fully get there, be toned and strong and extremely healthy. I live with my fiancee and my dog, and spend a lot of time out and with friends (which can be a downfall). I've been a pescatarian since high school and try to stay gluten free.











In the 50+ range; did not like turning 50! Always thought I had healthy food habits but something is not working. Starting weight is 208.5 after several years of stopping and starting programs. I think I am finally seeing my real roadblocks and understanding why I have failed so many times.


59 year old clinical psychologist, with hypertension, high cholesterol and a wicked sweet tooth. Just finished two weeks of the JJ Virgin cleanse and want to use that momentum to keep going! I have achieved so much in my life but the food and exercise, a constant struggle











I'm fat...and Texan.











I am a 44 working mom to a very active 3 1/2 yr old boy. I like to think of myself has having fitness as a hobby.


I am 45 yrs old, 5'11" tall, and my goal is to have the body of a long, lean, sinewy, slim ballet dancer (albeit a tiny bit taller than average) :)








Out-going, people loving, very happily married, woman. Small business owner (work ridiculous hours). Kids are out of the nest - still can't believe I turned 60 earlier this year (don't really look or feel it). I'm 5/2" short and pear-shaped - have always struggled with trying to get and keep weight off. I'm thankful that I have a positive outlook, and am a hard worker.





I'm an active mother that travels often for work.











I am 43 years old now.. I have accomplished alot on this journey.. I started out at 415 pounds.. Im still a work in progress but have released almost a whole person. I have more work to do. In 2011 I lost my dad to cancer from smoking and I let my life go. I was also taking care of my disabled mom until last month. I met a man this year.. Bry is so amazing and supportive.. I moved to PA away from my family to be with him. He cares about living a healthy lifestyle and were finishing our journeys together. no more yo yoing. I am finished with that. no more excuses its tie to finish what I started years ago. enough of letting my life go. its time to take it back and thats what I am doing this new year.. alot of changes to come. my life is still unwritten. and im writing it this year!..





I'm 53, mother of 2 grown children. I work full time as a chemist.


I am 48 years old with 2 daughters ages 12 & 23. I am a single working mom. I gained 20+ pounds over the last 2 years after hypothyroid diagnosis. My doctor tells me my numbers are 'normal' and that although I am eating 1200-1400 calories per day (minimal simple carbs) and weight training with a trainer 2X a week plus 2-3 mile runs 2x a week, my problem is peri-menopause.





I'm 59 years old, married, with one son and three stepdaughters. I have a fairly high-stress position in State Government that I really enjoy.








I am pretty much a straightforward type of person and I only have myself to blame for my current weight. I have been overindulgent I have been making unhealthy food/drink choices and have gained in the past few years. I want to reverse this trend now in my 30's .





I'm 37 with 2 very energetic boys who are 11 and 5. I am a qualified beauty therapist working from my home salon. I have a spinal condition that I leaves me in a lot of pain after physical activity so I tend to give up easily.


Hi! I'm a mom of two lovely princesses, trying to make all the dots connect in life. My main focus right now is on health and helping others find hope. I have multiple sclerosis, and I want to do my part in controlling my health- which comes down to my nutrition, exercises, and choices I make. I want to set a good example for my kids, and be able to walk-the-walk if they ever need to make lifestyle changes such as these.











Fast approaching 40, 3 kids, all homeschooled, non profit work, busy but happy.





I am a 41 year old lady that has been struggling with my weight all my life. I am divorced and am getting my life in toll after the divorce accepting myself for who I am and not doing this for anyone accept me.looking to feel better and get my health under control.














Last year I weighed 164 around February and now I gained all of the weight I lost that previous year. 80 lbs lost and now probably 100 gained. Very discouraged and I know what to do, just when I started eating again I gained.


Feeling determined, I have done it before with Weight Watchers.. I can do it again!! For my 40th birthday in 2012 I managed to loose over 55lb, having been overweight for most of my life. Over the past 12 months, or so, I have deviated from my path... but now it's time to get back to it, and do better than I did before.... Light and blessings <3











I'm a 54 year old grandmother and wife. I teach school in a rural community here in the Panhandle of Texas. I want to lose and be healthy as I approach my retirement years! God is my source, and I give Him all the glory for a wonderful life!











62 year old - dieting most of my life and have health issues that could certainly be alleviated by healthy diet and weight loss. Have knee problems that keep me from being able to do most exercises. Am going through physical therapy which is helping me. Nothing will help as much as weight loss. I do want to have better quality of life!!!





54 year old with 2 kids. I have chronic Lyme but am still somewhat active. I am an avid skier - every weekend in the winter. I usually hike in the summer, joint pain has limited that this summer. I eat massive amounts of veggies. Going to Europe in 3 weeks. Normally I would have just waited until I got back to begin but decided all I would do during those 3 weeks is eat the same way and not lose weight.





I am 62 years old, a widow and live alone, so have no excuse for not eating properly. I lost 140lbs following gastric by-pass surgery and have now gained about 14lbs that I want to shift. When I was fat I always believed that there was a slim person trying to get out; now I'm (relatively) thin I feel that there's a fat person trying to get out. I can't let that happen.




















I am a 49yo married, mother of 3 boys. I work as an ICU/stepdown RN in a local hospital. My oldest son is a Marine deployed in Afghanistan, middle son is in college and youngest just turned 13. I enjoy playing tennis and hanging with my family.





Almost 60 grandmother nurse who has been on every diet known for the last 33 years. Now I'm eating healthy, exercising regularly, gaining weight and frustrated,


I just turned 38 and I have one daughter. I've always struggled with my weight and was successful a few times only to gain it back due to my love of fried foods :-(


I love People and Animals!!! I also love to travel. I have not been to Italy ( my family's homeland) yet. This is my dream and I read and study everything there is about this beautiful country. I have 4 children and 1 granddaughter.


I am 43, single mom with three children and am 60lbs overweight. I had twins eight years ago and still blame them for looking like I am still pregnant!lol











Gained over 80 pounds during 2 pregnancies I lose about 10 pounds then gain it back can't seem to find something that I can use to change my lifestyle and get off the diet roller coaster





Married 24 years, one teenager. Ex-athlete. Very sedentary and sometimes stressful professional job.








I am 55 years old, have a husband, step son 20 and a nine year old granddaughter who live with me. I have health issues, spinal stenosis and arthritis, leg and foot pain, stress and anxiety from having a family member who I take care of who has bipolar disorder. I work full-time for government agency, am able to telework 3 days a week due my disability. I have two other adult sons. I think pain from disability also makes me eat and drink too much and my stress is out of control with my daughter who has bipolar disorder, (I know I need to meditate daily, now to find the motivation do commit and do so) Want to always make my emotional and physical pain be eliminated or suppressed with food and drink rather than find alternative coping mechanisms. I am learnimg more through reading about counseling methods that can help with alternative coping methods and plan to begin counseling sessions.

















38 year old female. I've always eaten a diet of whole foods and have vegetables in most meals and healthy fats and proteins. And I drink a ton of water. But I've also developed some bad habits, such ~2 glasses of wine a day, overeating wheat when I have it, dependence on having diary in most meals.








The Lord is my shepherd...and I want my body to be worthy of Him! I am 38 years old and have always been fat. My dear husband loves me the way I am but I do not like my body this way. It is not a temple fitting for God in my eyes; I have not kept it the way it should be kept...





I am a 53 yr old single woman recently engaged for the first time. I had WLS Nov 2009lost 90 lbs and have been gaining weight., gained 15 No surprise am sabotaging myself with poor eating choices and No exercise. I have gained 15 lbs and could probably gain it all back if Idon't get Back on Track asap. I have been reading everything on PeerTrainer since I found this site yesterday ( while looking to download workout music) and I can't wait to join your tem and get started. thanks now almost Jan 2015. Been a Peertrainer follower fir years.


I am 50, in a very new relationship, travel a lot, live on both coasts: LA and MA.





Hi! I'm a working mom with a supportive DH and kids entering their pre-teens. I'd like to get down to a healthy weight for someone in their 40's.


I'm a 54 year old mother of four grown children. I had struggled with my weight most of my life. I've lost 60 pounds over a four year stretch and have changed my profession from teacher to holistic health coach. (I've slowly regained 20 pounds so am now working on taking this off without always having to weigh and measure everything)








I am a 63 year old grandmother who is a retired school librarian. Now i do a lot of babysitting! I had an accident that left me with surgical pins in both my feet but I love swimming. I hope to lose at least 40 lbs.


married, working too many hours a day! No childdren but do have a cat.


I'm a 44 year old mom of two working out of my home and have a huge problem with bad carbs bread pasta chocolate chips. I also can't seem keep consistent with exercise. I guess I've never seen any good payoff.


I am 63, married, retired, living a life I love! So much of my life is exactly what I want, I just need to find a way to live without food issues/addictions.


I have been on this journey way too long. I live in Tallahassee, FL . I have a 15 yo daughter, and my BF has recently moved himself in - not a bad thing, but a bad influence when it comes to food, and sitting on the couch.


About to turn 55, female, in a long-term (24+ years) relationship. Didn't have a weight problem until I turned 35, quit smoking and drinking, and got comfortable in a relationship. Since then I have put on close to 50 pounds. I have no motivation or energy to do anything that I should or want to do, other than going to work and taking care of the dogs. Even cooking, which used to be a pleasure has turned into a chore. Need to fix this soon.


49 years old, married with a 23 year old daughter. I'm active in my church and I work for the school system.


I believe I still officially qualify as a newlywed, having been married a little over 2.5 years. I went back to work last year after taking two years off to care for my grandmother who lived with us. Although I was pretty close to my ideal weight when I got married, I have managed to gain 38 pounds since I went back to work a year ago. It is now time to be get back into shape. I just ordered the Medifast weight loss program and started May 31st! My goal is to be 10 pounds lighter each month between now and December.


Cheryl here. Retired RN who worked with databases mostly...trauma registry software. I have been active all my life, but small changes in lifestyle and health have let my weight creep up. Clothes don't fit, I look frumpy.


single, full time working parent of 2 high energy kids (6 and 8) I love to cook (and eat) and actually like clean food...have a difficult time juggling all of the balls and not grabbing the easiest thing to eat instead of the best thing to eat.








I am 53 yrs old and although that's not really old, I have been too tired and stressed for too long. I've been getting sick all year and I really have been quite hopeless about everything. I have back degenerative disk disease that is made worst by all the extra weight. I want to feel optimistic & energetic again.


I am a 49 years old and I have struggled with my weight for years, and I have had success with other programs, but I have a hard time sticking with them for the long term. I did the cleanse a few years ago and I had great success, but when my work schedule became erratic, and my hubby started cooking, I put on weight. (He does not follow my eating plan) The past few years have been an emotional upheaval and I am back to my heaviest weight. I am committed to eating healthier and getting to my goal weight and staying at it. I need to stay connected to my teams for the accountability.


I would love to find someone in my area Newnan GA!!!I am 57 and have gained 10lbs that I can not budge! I own my own business and now have the time to commit to myself! I am married and have 22 yr old daughter. I used to love exercising now I can't get started.


39 yr old mother of 4 daughters (ages 14, 11, 8, 6). I have been working part-time since 2009 and will start working full-time in March 2015. HUGE transition for our family. I'd determined to not let it derail my health and fitness goals. I've read Eat to Live and Eat for Health, The Starch Solution, The Virgin Diet, Almost Vegetarian, In Defense of Food, and others. I went through the PT Point of No Return and Emotional Eating. On a journey of learning to cook mostly dairy & wheat-free, and nutritarian. I used to think I ate well--lots of veggies, lean meats, and low-fat dairy. Followed (loosely) the South Beach Diet for nearly 8 years with some success but lately the weight was creeping back on. ETL has turned that around and given me tools (mentally & literally) to bring back my health and vitality. Hardest thing for me is finding foods my kids will eat too so I'm not making 2 meals every night. My husband has high cholesterol and is overweight--his frustrations and failure to stick to not snacking often lead me to snack right along with him. I'm a night-eater. Hardest habit to kick:nuts and chocolate--they're my gate-way drugs. I can't just have one bite. For exercise I use a stationary bike we have at home for intervals, run once or twice a week with a friend, and use some resistance bands and free weights for strength training (at home). Someday I'd love to be able to get to a gym but we live in the country and the time factor between work and kids is just too much of a barrier at this point. Challenge: to not stress about the length of time or intensity of the exercise, but be happy with even just a 20 minute work out so I can maintain a daily routine.


I am 43 and have a 8 year old and a 5 year old. I finally lost the weight I have been wanting to lose!









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