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Roberta's Reflections: Musings of a Psychotherapist

A PEERtrainer Series on The Psychology of Weight Loss and Health

Stranger Danger

By Roberta Temes, PhD

Every day I hear authorities expressing concern about kids getting fat. I wonder - how many calories would kids use up if after school they rode their bikes throughout their neighborhood? Or, if they played a couple of rigorous ball games? Or, if they raced up and down the street? I think about all the calories expended when kids go out to play and then I remember - kids dont go out to play anymore.

Parents are bombarded with news about abductions and kidnappings, molesters and perverts. Its the rare mom today who says what all the moms said back when my children were growing up: Go outside to play and come back home when it starts to get dark. Today that sounds like child neglect. Just one generation ago it was the norm and just one generation ago most kids were not overweight.

Stranger danger is real, though, and we have to respect it. I wonder were there bad people walking the streets looking for victims years ago? If so, how come we rarely heard about them?

Statistically, most kids who go missing are taken by estranged family members and not by strangers. And anyway, a clever kidnapper can easily fool a child into thinking hes a family friend just by mentioning mom or dads name.

Kids hear about stranger danger so often that I read a report of a lost boy scout who did not call out to the rescuers because he knew he was forbidden to talk to strangers. And I recall my neighbors son who walked out of the admission interview for the gifted kindergarten program and proudly announced to his waiting parents, I did what you taught me, Dad, and I did not speak to the stranger.

Some parents develop a safety plan with their kids. They decide that in large public areas an amusement center or mall, for example if they become separated theyll meet at a designated area a particular store or eating place. And some parents put their name and cell phone number in their young childs pocket.

A safe solution that may prevent family separations and prevent weight gain is to indulge in family exercise time sports and games and bike rides and hikes. The family that plays together, stays together.

Roberta Temes Article Archive:

    Click Here To Read How Roberta Can Help You Eliminate the Psychological Barriers Keeping You from Following Your Diet. Her program comes with an iron-clad 1 YEAR no questions asked money back guarantee and it's easy to order. If you like Roberta's writing style, you'll probably like her approach to helping you lose weight!

    About the Author

    Roberta Temes, (pronounced Temmis), Ph.D. is Clinical Assistant Professor, Department of Psychiatry, at Downstate Medical School, New York City. She had a private practice in New York City in psychotherapy, coaching, and medical hypnosis for 30 years, and has now relocated that practice to Westfield, NJ.

    Temes is the author of many self-help books and psychology books, as well as the first medical school textbook about hypnosis. She is also the author of the best-selling book, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Hypnosis. Her latest book is called, The Tapping Cure.

    Dr. Temes lectures around the country at corporate meetings, at medical conferences, and at health spas, too. She did a stint as a columnist for a country newspaper where she wrote about acquiring a country house and the trauma of adjusting to fresh air, quiet, and nature. For twenty years Temes wrote a monthly column for True Story magazine. Dr. Roberta, as her clients call her, is now in practice in NJ where she lives with her husband. Her 3 children are grown, with families of their own.

    "The research is mounting: hypnosis can help you lose weight and keep it off longer . . . This set Enjoying Weight Loss has a lot to offer: a warm, fun hypnotist offering sound dietary advice and a variety of trances for a range of issues, from choosing a food plan to avoiding temptation."

    -Jean Fain, Harvard Medical School

    December 2006 Thread Archive.

Topic: Replies: Last Post:
Looking to start up my group again! 0 Sun. Dec 31, 10:06pm
Weight Watchers Points 4 Sun. Dec 31, 6:32pm
Woman's World Readers.... 14 Sun. Dec 31, 4:33pm
Recovery from an accident 3 Sun. Dec 31, 2:39pm
Best Arm Exercises 7 Sun. Dec 31, 12:13pm
to keep up the good work and then some 0 Sun. Dec 31, 9:57am
Exercise ideas for the broke? 8 Sun. Dec 31, 8:45am
Dairy and Weight Loss 7 Sun. Dec 31, 8:42am
Pilates 6 Sun. Dec 31, 8:07am
Good sources of food enzymes? 1 Sun. Dec 31, 3:55am
help lose baby weight 0 Sun. Dec 31, 1:53am
help lose baby weight 0 Sun. Dec 31, 1:53am
Cold Gym Clothes 4 Sat. Dec 30, 9:11pm
welcome new members. 0 Sat. Dec 30, 6:06pm
Keep the Resolution This Time!! :) 0 Sat. Dec 30, 5:07pm
OT: Paris Accommodation 6 Sat. Dec 30, 3:10pm
Hawaiian Call Out 0 Sat. Dec 30, 2:27pm
You On a Diet! 7 Sat. Dec 30, 9:29am
2007 my year of CHANGE 0 Sat. Dec 30, 8:58am
When you eat fruit, eat it as a snack not part of a meal... 3 Sat. Dec 30, 8:43am
has anyone used DrNatura colon cleanse? 1 Sat. Dec 30, 5:23am
Hot Salt Baths with Lavendar Oil 1 Sat. Dec 30, 4:41am
Looking for...... 2 Fri. Dec 29, 8:14pm
OT- John Edwards Needs Tighter Jeans! 1 Fri. Dec 29, 7:30pm
Polar Fitness Watch 6 Fri. Dec 29, 6:48pm
can drinking too much water be bad for you? 2 Fri. Dec 29, 5:13pm
OT Divorce and Child Support 14 Fri. Dec 29, 4:51pm
no matter what i do i keep gaining! 4 Fri. Dec 29, 3:28pm
Jewelry and Make Up at the Gym 9 Fri. Dec 29, 3:18pm
OT Childfree Lifestyle 25 Fri. Dec 29, 2:30pm
Poll: What Herbs do you take on a regular basis? 3 Fri. Dec 29, 2:10pm
Desperately seeking my old figure!!! Sugar is the thief... 8 Fri. Dec 29, 1:59pm
A question for major losers who've maintained 8 Fri. Dec 29, 11:15am
quick fix for new years eve 1 Fri. Dec 29, 10:27am
What Are Your New Year Resolutions??? 12 Fri. Dec 29, 9:49am
What DOESN'T work? 10 Fri. Dec 29, 9:40am
Thyroid Blues 6 Fri. Dec 29, 3:08am
Breakfast Bars 3 Fri. Dec 29, 2:22am
Boston area - looking for swimming pool 3 Fri. Dec 29, 1:00am
Members Needed 0 Thu. Dec 28, 11:37pm
jelly belly!! 7 Thu. Dec 28, 10:50pm
Lose alot with little effort! 3 Thu. Dec 28, 8:15pm
How long can bloat from sodium-intake last?? 1 Thu. Dec 28, 12:50pm
New Yar Challenge 2007 starting January 1 0 Thu. Dec 28, 8:41am
Nike + iPod Shoes 7 Thu. Dec 28, 8:39am
Chicken Broth/Beef Broth 1 Wed. Dec 27, 11:54pm
The zone diet 1 Wed. Dec 27, 9:11pm
2007 team? 2 Wed. Dec 27, 9:04pm
Relora? 0 Wed. Dec 27, 5:07pm
I LOVE my shape 4 Wed. Dec 27, 3:52pm
prenatal vitamins 13 Wed. Dec 27, 3:45pm
Butterfly Life 3 Wed. Dec 27, 3:02pm
Merry Christmas morning or happy chanukah/movies/chinese food 10 Wed. Dec 27, 10:52am
anyone else having trouble leaving comments?? 5 Wed. Dec 27, 9:39am
FYI, Protopic and Elidel link to cancer 0 Wed. Dec 27, 9:14am
awesome soap 6 Wed. Dec 27, 8:41am
Too much water leads to... 8 Wed. Dec 27, 1:40am
Dr Oz/Perricone/Detox Diets-- What CAN I eat?? 1 Wed. Dec 27, 12:34am
Checking for anyone having turbo jam promo codes 5 Tue. Dec 26, 9:58pm
I still want to be Hollywood skinny. 38 Tue. Dec 26, 10:30am
Resentment! 2 Tue. Dec 26, 10:18am
New Team - New Year Challenge 0 Tue. Dec 26, 9:10am
food and or work out 3 Mon. Dec 25, 10:35pm
lose (20 pounds or less) weight together, change ur lifestyle, and get in shape! 0 Mon. Dec 25, 10:26pm
Lose 10 to 20 in a positive on line group 0 Mon. Dec 25, 10:09pm
double chin trouble, what to do? 2 Sun. Dec 24, 12:15am
HELP me.. Transition from FINE to Toned :( 12 Sat. Dec 23, 9:58pm
in need of help 2 Sat. Dec 23, 9:43pm
Gym Bag 7 Sat. Dec 23, 8:42pm
Get healthier for the new year! 0 Sat. Dec 23, 5:28pm
Moms who support other Moms in their weight loss/fitness journey! 0 Sat. Dec 23, 1:45pm
Friday Weigh-In! 0 Fri. Dec 22, 5:54pm
Blog Censorship! 41 Fri. Dec 22, 1:51pm
Newbie Advice 4 Fri. Dec 22, 1:50pm
Need new members! 2 Fri. Dec 22, 12:47pm
Ready to get started, get a jump on 2007! 0 Fri. Dec 22, 11:51am
What works? 38 Fri. Dec 22, 2:43am
Rosie vs. Trump 7 Fri. Dec 22, 12:21am
Tell a friend how much you mean to them 1 Thu. Dec 21, 7:57pm
What happened to walking cross country thread? 2 Thu. Dec 21, 7:47pm
weight maintance 0 Thu. Dec 21, 7:11pm
new group 1 Thu. Dec 21, 1:42pm
Is this a Lounge Community or a Research Archive? 21 Thu. Dec 21, 12:41pm
wu long tea 0 Thu. Dec 21, 11:50am
Promo Codes 2 Thu. Dec 21, 9:39am
The Cheesecake Factory 12 Thu. Dec 21, 9:24am
To much fitness for woman!!! 12 Thu. Dec 21, 9:22am
Working out with sore muscles? 7 Thu. Dec 21, 9:19am
Gym Pet Peeve 16 Thu. Dec 21, 9:01am
argh bloat. 2 Thu. Dec 21, 8:28am
to lose wight, does water temperature matters? 5 Thu. Dec 21, 12:46am
can you keep your diet on track while drinking? 2 Thu. Dec 21, 12:04am
I don't like my shape 5 Wed. Dec 20, 10:40pm
Oats versus oats 10 Wed. Dec 20, 4:27pm
using Olive Oil on the Face? 8 Wed. Dec 20, 4:11pm
Trans fats article 0 Wed. Dec 20, 4:07pm
Myoma + bulging belly 7 Wed. Dec 20, 4:05pm
Gardenburger portabella veggie burgers 5 Wed. Dec 20, 1:46pm
OT co-signer 40 Wed. Dec 20, 1:41pm
Walk across country 1 Tue. Dec 19, 9:51pm
Effective Calorie Burning? 4 Tue. Dec 19, 5:39pm
My husband is always cranky. 6 Tue. Dec 19, 5:30pm
"Bachelor Chow" -Purina Can Expand Into a Whole New Market! 4 Tue. Dec 19, 5:15pm
Callanetics? 0 Tue. Dec 19, 4:32pm
PT problem? 13 Tue. Dec 19, 1:37pm
Looking for members 0 Tue. Dec 19, 1:32pm
how to improve my terrible posture? 14 Tue. Dec 19, 12:06pm
How do I try to start a new group. 2 Tue. Dec 19, 11:08am
Get off your butt!!! 0 Tue. Dec 19, 10:17am
Purina Naturally Complete- would you eat this? 4 Tue. Dec 19, 10:06am
Working Out at Home 9 Mon. Dec 18, 10:06pm
What have you added to your diet? 6 Mon. Dec 18, 9:23pm
January 1st, 2007 New Year's Resolution Team 3 Mon. Dec 18, 8:19pm
treadmill determined 2 Mon. Dec 18, 5:54pm
Skin Care Product You Swear By 15 Mon. Dec 18, 5:40pm
Best 0 Mon. Dec 18, 12:46am
I'm thinking about doing Atkins, or should I do South Beach instead? 35 Sun. Dec 17, 10:50pm
Mental Block 8 Sun. Dec 17, 10:41pm
weight routine 14 Sun. Dec 17, 10:25pm
Found husbands porn-what should I do? (possible offensive thread) 99 Sun. Dec 17, 8:48pm
New Years Goals? 11 Sun. Dec 17, 6:48pm
What qualifies as a binge? 5 Sun. Dec 17, 6:46pm
ate horribly for 3 days... disaster. what would you do tomorrow? 4 Sun. Dec 17, 6:39pm
Need New Motivation (re-motivation) 3 Sun. Dec 17, 5:24pm
Exercise when you are sick? 12 Sun. Dec 17, 2:55pm
way OT...lindsay lohan 16 Sun. Dec 17, 2:51pm
24hr fitness 10 Sun. Dec 17, 1:54pm
Reason for tummy weight gain? 10 Sat. Dec 16, 9:10pm
OT: 15% drop in breast cancer rates -- that's HUGE! 5 Sat. Dec 16, 8:26pm
20-Something and Jewish 5 Sat. Dec 16, 3:48pm
gift suggestions for my wife for christmas 19 Sat. Dec 16, 2:15pm
Do you have Diabeties? 0 Sat. Dec 16, 11:45am
the workout mouse- funny 3 Sat. Dec 16, 10:36am
What waist size is a "size 4"? 18 Sat. Dec 16, 8:43am
After Pregnancy Bell Fat - due to weight issues before pregnancy? 1 Sat. Dec 16, 2:17am
Christian Believers United in Christ 0 Fri. Dec 15, 3:43pm
Help! I'm my only group member! 12 Fri. Dec 15, 3:38pm
the genes that allow some of us to live on dairy 11 Fri. Dec 15, 1:52pm
snowboard recs 2 Fri. Dec 15, 10:41am
New group 0 Thu. Dec 14, 11:08pm
New Group 0 Thu. Dec 14, 10:33pm
post c-section pot bellies? 2 Thu. Dec 14, 7:12pm
Foods that make you feel great? 10 Thu. Dec 14, 2:52pm
I want to run a marathon...and my SO is against it 8 Thu. Dec 14, 2:13pm
running in the winter...scares me. tips? 2 Thu. Dec 14, 11:22am
OT what most men want 9 Thu. Dec 14, 8:18am
OT - Attention Span 9 Wed. Dec 13, 8:42pm
Heart rate monitor results 9 Wed. Dec 13, 7:38pm
Looking for other ladies in the Chicago area 2 Wed. Dec 13, 3:44pm
Number of "treats" in a week? 1 Wed. Dec 13, 3:17pm
Why wait? 0 Wed. Dec 13, 2:01pm
special strategies to lose weight over christmas 2 Wed. Dec 13, 1:13pm
Bench press with Herniated disc 3 Wed. Dec 13, 11:08am
soda 23 Wed. Dec 13, 10:22am
"cutting yourself" 13 Wed. Dec 13, 7:03am
Eggs: full of cholesterol + to be avoided or OK? 11 Wed. Dec 13, 6:01am
WW leader making disparaging remark when I gained weight from my period 12 Tue. Dec 12, 11:27pm
ROAD TRIP! 13 Tue. Dec 12, 3:54pm
cardio exercises for women with big chests 15 Tue. Dec 12, 2:08pm
This weight loss kind of kicks all of our butts 27 Tue. Dec 12, 11:46am
How to avoid a 'Santas Belly' over Christmas.... 4 Tue. Dec 12, 11:43am
Mood swings and ToM 37 Tue. Dec 12, 10:46am
Ab Exercises? 9 Tue. Dec 12, 10:35am
ugh 15 Mon. Dec 11, 7:45pm
metabolism question 9 Mon. Dec 11, 4:10pm
Numb Foot and Elliptical 8 Mon. Dec 11, 2:46pm
electric razor question . . . 3 Mon. Dec 11, 2:44pm
How do I make my log public? 1 Mon. Dec 11, 2:03pm
Curves Fitness for Women 1 Mon. Dec 11, 11:10am
master cleanse 3 Mon. Dec 11, 11:02am
Biggest Loser - casting for Season 4 0 Mon. Dec 11, 9:40am
Avoiding holiday "grazing" 6 Mon. Dec 11, 1:20am
trans fat banned in nyc 16 Mon. Dec 11, 12:12am
Rejion Weight Watchers 3 Mon. Dec 11, 12:07am
pilates headache ?? 8 Sun. Dec 10, 9:23pm
phenomenal workout music 27 Sun. Dec 10, 6:53pm
Join: Asians Breaking Weight Barriers 1 Sun. Dec 10, 12:19pm
Cooking funk 13 Sat. Dec 9, 6:50pm
How do you pick yourself up when you're having a bad day? 9 Sat. Dec 9, 6:00pm
elliptical vs. treadmill or rower? 10 Fri. Dec 8, 2:29pm
swimming pools...regularly cleaned? 7 Fri. Dec 8, 7:21am
looking for a workout buddy in beaverton, oregon 0 Thu. Dec 7, 8:16pm
The pursuit of happiness 7 Thu. Dec 7, 10:17am
Kickstarting the Routine 1 Wed. Dec 6, 11:34pm
why am I producing more oil? 6 Wed. Dec 6, 4:12pm
Kids and Obesity 42 Wed. Dec 6, 3:16pm
need help staying committed to exercise over winter? 0 Wed. Dec 6, 12:42pm
bench press and pain 1 Wed. Dec 6, 8:37am
OT Grad School 4 Tue. Dec 5, 10:43pm
Ideas for snacks at office 25 Tue. Dec 5, 7:26pm
Peole who love to exercise! 3 Tue. Dec 5, 6:14pm
Join my group. 0 Tue. Dec 5, 1:57pm
OT- going back on the pill... 2 Tue. Dec 5, 1:42pm
workout partner question 6 Tue. Dec 5, 11:08am
Oprah's Dr. Oz on cravings 9 Mon. Dec 4, 4:18pm
OT Any Pharmaceutical Sales Reps here? 1 Mon. Dec 4, 4:00pm
New Spotlight Today 0 Mon. Dec 4, 2:38pm
Weightloss retreat/bootcamp 3 Mon. Dec 4, 11:13am
OT: Toddler Girls Ice Skates 4 Mon. Dec 4, 10:09am
Treadmill 5 Mon. Dec 4, 6:14am
losing weight without traditional dieting or crazy exercises! 2 Mon. Dec 4, 5:50am
So OT..bad haircut 11 Mon. Dec 4, 5:40am
Digestion question! may be too much info for some. 12 Mon. Dec 4, 1:59am
menstrual bloat = inches??? 5 Sun. Dec 3, 3:45am
MP3 Recommendations w/ Radio 16 Sat. Dec 2, 10:11pm
backwards and upside-down question 3 Sat. Dec 2, 10:44am
I have 2 questions 7 Sat. Dec 2, 7:51am
Vitamin E 6 Sat. Dec 2, 5:24am
I have thyroid disease and the weight keeps piling on 4 Fri. Dec 1, 11:56pm
tersie where are you? 12 Fri. Dec 1, 10:14pm
one spot left in the spotlight, starting monday 1 Fri. Dec 1, 7:55pm
I'm getting pissed off 27 Fri. Dec 1, 6:54pm
Dealing with weight loss and hypothyroidism 9 Fri. Dec 1, 2:56pm
Advice re Personal Trainer / Mountain Climbing 4 Fri. Dec 1, 10:50am

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