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Super OT: Forgiveness is not an option

Here's the issue: from the time I was 2 (or younger) to the time I was 5, my uncle sexually molested and abused me, by forcibly touching me and making me perform and performing oral sex. When my parents found out my Dad went to confront his brother but was held back by other siblings so he wouldn't pummel him. When the police came to our home, he resisted pressing charges because (according to him) his Dad was in the hospital and wouldn't be able to handle the news.
For a few months thereafter I was kept home. Then I was sent back to my Grandmother's house, where this uncle lived and where most of the abuse took place. I remember feeling like something was amiss but somehow was made to feel it was normal. Since then and until 3 years ago (age 5 until 27), I did not make a fuss if he was around or say much.
3 years ago I threw a birthday bash for my Dad and decided to take a stand. I let family know that the offending uncle was in no way to be brought to the party. Most were understanding but some felt it was water under the bridge and that family shouldn't be alienated. I finally told some family members everything that happened, and I felt it was a done deal.
This past Father's Day one uncle mentioned us all getting together with my Dad and he would bring along this other uncle. I was furious! I have boycotted all family events since then. I've told my Dad he can come visit me when he likes (we live a state apart). To his credit, he has shown a willingness to do so. What he hasn't shown a willingness to do is take a big stand in letting all his siblings know that the offender is not to come to any events that I will come to, regardless of who the host is.
My question is: is this an unreasonable expectation? Shouldn't I have the right to ask my Dad to put his brothers and sisters on notice (so to speak)?
Your thoughts and sensitivity are appreciated.


Wed. Jul 30, 6:48pm

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