everyones opinions

I can only guess, but I thought your posting sounded like you're really thinking badly of yourself, and maybe they are getting that sense also, and what they really want to tell you is that they think well of you as a person and are concerned that you are so disapproving of yourself and they're trying to talk you out of feeling that way.
What to say to them? I guess that depends a lot on what kind of relationship you have, or would feel OK developing, with them. I'll be interested to see what others suggest.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005, 11:00 PM

I can only guess, but I thought your posting sounded like you're really thinking badly of yourself, and maybe they are getting that sense also, and what they really want to tell you is that they think well of you as a person and are concerned that you are so disapproving of yourself and they're trying to talk you out of feeling that way.
What to say to them? I guess that depends a lot on what kind of relationship you have, or would feel OK developing, with them. I'll be interested to see what others suggest.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005, 11:00 PM

I find that

When you advertise your feelings and personal efforts like at work or with nominally close people- they only think "positive" reinformcement is appropriate. ESPECIALLY women. We think that when you put yourself down out loud we need to reassure you.

I think that people who are close to you and that you have an honest relationship with will tell you the truth: that 165 is not a healthy weight, but the focus should be on HEALTH rather than WEIGHT. I am 5'9 and have neared 200 in the past few months, but i find that although i want to be 140, 165 is really a healthy spot for ME, because of muscle, my bone structure etc.

I have been there before, maybe you are looking for someone to put you down to motivate you? My boyfriend does that. Its like I need to tell him he's fat or slacking with work so he will act. That is not my job or my place. That should come from within!

Thursday, October 27, 2005, 9:45 AM

similar situation

At 5'7" and 170, I too desire to lose weight, be more toned, and overall more healthy. And like you, many people tell me that I don't have a need. It can be very frustrating. I have a tendency to not tell people (especially family and friends) of my dieting plans, therefore they won't comment. That's why I picked up on Peertrainer- to get the support I need to acheive my goals.

In this day in age, 5'6" and 165 is average (thought not by medical standards for BMI) and many people have come to accept that one isn't "overweight" until someone is >50 lbs above norm, or really looks "fat". I also have found that anyone who is heavier than myself never seems to agree that I should lose a few. That could be due to many factors.

In any case, stay strong and motivated. Set goals for yourself, and don't broadcast your plans, unless you know you'll get the support you need.

Good luck!

Thursday, October 27, 2005, 10:21 AM

I can so empathize with all your posts. I am 5'7 and 162, trying to drop 15-20. It is so true, anyone heavier than me is like "pshaw, silly woman" well we know why that is.

I too, am trying to not advertise anymore.

Thursday, October 27, 2005, 12:12 PM

Body Fat

Have any of you had your body fat tested? I am 5'9" and I weigh 165 and my body fat is 22% healthy. Get your body fat tested, then you will if you have to lose weight or not

Thursday, October 27, 2005, 2:22 PM

thank you everyone i just feel the need to tell people i am on a diet b/c evryone is always trying to feed me so i think if i tell them they will respect that and stop thank you for all your wonderful comments

Thursday, October 27, 2005, 7:33 PM

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