I’ve been at this for more than 15 years. I’ve actually struggled with weight my whole life. I weighed 220 pounds at age 17. Although I never really dieted, per se, as a child/teen I wrestled with body issues and self-esteem greatly. It was such a battle of wills that at age 17 I gave up with caring about how much I weighed. I told myself that I was born fat and would always be fat so I was going to eat whatever I wanted and be happy. I wasn’t going to make myself miserable trying to get skinny. I wasn’t going to worry about looking fat or weighing myself anymore. I went 11 years (ages 17-28) without stepping on a scale; without worrying about what I was or wasn’t eating; not feeling bad about myself; not caring what other people thought about my weight. It was really liberating. Between the ages of 5 (when I came home from kindergarten crying because the other kids called me fatso) until the age of 17 (when I felt as though everyone thought of me as a fat pig) those were the things I seemed to always be thinking, feeling, defining myself as. High School were the worst years of my life. At 17 (graduating HS senior) I went off to college and a new start.

Eleven years later I stepped on a scale and found out that I weighed 232lbs. That’s 12 pounds more than I had thought all those years. I was also told for the first time that I had high blood pressure. I had always had LOW blood pressure. That was rock bottom for me. I decided then and there that I was finally (as an adult) going to get this weight problem under control. I was older now. I could deal with it. I could live with it. I should no longer deny it or pretend it wasn’t a problem.

I gave up butter, mayo and soda instantly. I got on the Slim-Fast program – 2 shakes a day and a reasonable dinner – and lost 64 lbs. in about 4 months. I went from 232 pounds down to 168 pounds. I told myself I would never weigh over 200 lbs. again. AND I haven’t!! Even with regaining and losing, regaining again and losing again about 3 times now over the course of 12 years I have never gotten over 200lbs again.

I maintained that 64 pound loss for about 4 years. Then I met my now husband and over the course of a year I regained 30lbs due mostly to eating out so much. When I hit 198 lbs. I knew it was time to take the bull by the horns and get back on an aggressive weight loss program again. After all I had promised myself never to weigh over 200 pounds again and if I didn't do something soon I would break that promise. I tried Slim-Fast but it just didn’t seem to cut it that time around. It was harder because I had been working out all along and eating reasonably well. The reason I was able to maintain for so long was because I would workout for at least 1 hour everyday. The weight gain was because of all the unhealthy food I began eating when I met my husband. I tried to do it by myself without a program just by going back to healthy eating again. The weight gain stopped, but I wasn’t losing. This is when I found Michael Thurmond’s 6 Week Body Makeover.

In about 6 months I lost 53 pounds – the 30 I had regained plus 23 more. I was at the lowest I had ever weighed – 145 pounds. I quickly regained about 9 lbs. and was able to maintain at about 154 pounds for about 3 ½ years. I was pretty happy at 154 pounds even though it was at the very top end of the healthy weight range according to my doctor. Then the summer of 2009 I regained 18 pounds and was weighing in at 172 pounds. I was definitely not happy at this weight.

I knew I had to find the motivation to get back on track and stay on track. This is when I found a highly motivating group in PEERtrainer. I had actually gotten on PEERtrainer for about a month the year before but stopped logging on when I couldn't find any active groups. I was also part of a weigh loss competition at work. During the Fall of 2009 I lost 18 pounds. During the beginning of 2010 I continued to lose until I reached a new lowest weight of 139 pounds just before my wedding in July of 2010. In the few months following the wedding I gained about 15 pounds and yo-yoed between 148 &154 throughout the rest of 2010.

Although I was happy at 154 pounds for over 3 years (2006 -2009) I felt awesome at 145 and pretty happy for the brief time I was 139. 154 seems to be the number MY BODY seems to like, but my heart and mind is telling me I could and should be in the 130’s.

My goal for 2011 was to lose 26 lbs and weigh in at 128 pounds if only for a week and then maintain between 128-132. That didn't happen. I re-gained 9 pounds the first half of the year then maintained around 165 until mid October when I decided I needed to get working on my final goal of 128 pounds. The last 2 months I have managed to lose 10 pounds and started 2012 at 156 lbs.