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Roberta's Reflections: Musings of a Psychotherapist


A PEERtrainer Series on The Psychology of Weight Loss and Health
Happiness, Mental Health, Coping Abilities and the Power of "Positive Programming"

By Roberta Temes, PhD

When I was in "shrink" school we learned all about depression, sadness, mental illness and poor coping abilities. Now, so many years later, in my practice I focus on just the opposite. Happiness, pleasure, mental health, and strong coping abilities have replaced weakness and emotional damage as talking points.

Rather than label a client with a negative characteristic, I prefer to recognize that client's strengths and virtues and exploit those qualities to their fullest. No more emphasis on troubles and hardships. Instead, we talk about ways to act "as if" there is happiness and smooth sailing ahead.

Have you noticed that you can change your mood by doing something positive? Of course I am not talking about a major clinical depression, which requires medical intervention. I am talking about "the blues" that can grow bluer and bluer and impede your life. The blues often reverse themselves when clients follow my instructions, which are very detailed. In the course of a few days they are told to play a game, listen to music, go for a walk, call a friend, wear an outfit that flatters, get a great haircut, and do something to help someone. I also insist that these sad clients rent a movie that makes them laugh and watch it over and over.

I've noticed when folks follow this type of positive programming they find it much easier to also follow their food program. Also, when dieters say something positive about all their meals and express thanks for the food they are eating, they tend to feel happier about their food choices and maintain their program.

Pay attention to the little things during the day that bring a smile to your face. Maybe it's watching a mom and child on the bus in the morning. Maybe its arriving early to your first appointment of the day. Maybe it's getting a call from a particular person. Perhaps it is sticking to your food plan all day with no problem. At the end of the day jot down all your positives the smile makes. Then give yourself the easy task of remembering to incorporate those positives into your life every day. It won't be hard because most smile makers are free and require little time or preparation. You deserve to have pleasurable days. Go for it!

Roberta Temes Article Archive:





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    About the Author

    Roberta Temes, (pronounced Temmis), Ph.D. is Clinical Assistant Professor, Department of Psychiatry, at Downstate Medical School, New York City. She had a private practice in New York City in psychotherapy, coaching, and medical hypnosis for 30 years, and has now relocated that practice to Westfield, NJ.

    Temes is the author of many self-help books and psychology books, as well as the first medical school textbook about hypnosis. She is also the author of the best-selling book, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Hypnosis. Her latest book is called, The Tapping Cure.

    Dr. Temes lectures around the country at corporate meetings, at medical conferences, and at health spas, too. She did a stint as a columnist for a country newspaper where she wrote about acquiring a country house and the trauma of adjusting to fresh air, quiet, and nature. For twenty years Temes wrote a monthly column for True Story magazine. Dr. Roberta, as her clients call her, is now in practice in NJ where she lives with her husband. Her 3 children are grown, with families of their own.

    "The research is mounting: hypnosis can help you lose weight and keep it off longer . . . This set Enjoying Weight Loss has a lot to offer: a warm, fun hypnotist offering sound dietary advice and a variety of trances for a range of issues, from choosing a food plan to avoiding temptation."

    -Jean Fain, Harvard Medical School









    June 2006 Thread Archive. Back to Previous Page


Topic: Replies: Last Post:
Looking for like minded people 0 Fri. Jun 30, 10:21pm
How to tell spouse/significant other he/she has bad breath? 16 Fri. Jun 30, 9:58pm
ranch dressing 12 Fri. Jun 30, 4:45pm
Loose that baby weight and keep fit 0 Fri. Jun 30, 2:21pm
Hoodia 1 Fri. Jun 30, 2:07pm
bridal shower gift suggestions 14 Fri. Jun 30, 1:32pm
Anyone in the CA Bay Area? Join our team! 0 Fri. Jun 30, 12:33pm
Help with your in put please 11 Fri. Jun 30, 12:25pm
protein powder/supplements 12 Fri. Jun 30, 11:40am
Binges. What constitutes as one? 4 Fri. Jun 30, 10:55am
Join us 0 Fri. Jun 30, 9:52am
No Gym or Lean Cuisine! Help! 10 Thu. Jun 29, 11:16pm
nutirtionist/personal trainer as a career? 3 Thu. Jun 29, 10:26pm
Could this be? 3 Thu. Jun 29, 5:43pm
The incredible egg... 11 Thu. Jun 29, 3:59pm
fat genes? 13 Thu. Jun 29, 3:51pm
Can I drop some weight in one week?!?!?! 16 Thu. Jun 29, 3:29pm
New Team- DC Area Meetup and Workout 0 Thu. Jun 29, 10:00am
party and socializing strategies 8 Thu. Jun 29, 9:49am
Strength training while travelling 2 Thu. Jun 29, 5:00am
metformin, Glucophage 2 Thu. Jun 29, 2:58am
We can work together to lose weght! 0 Wed. Jun 28, 11:49pm
AMAZING 100 CALORIE SUMMER DESSERT 2 Wed. Jun 28, 11:11pm
"I want YOU to get in shape" -Uncle Sam 0 Wed. Jun 28, 10:58pm
Sore nipples 16 Wed. Jun 28, 10:46pm
Anyone else in the 170's? 18 Wed. Jun 28, 4:14pm
exercising when pregnant 3 Wed. Jun 28, 3:03pm
How do I upload a pic to my profile? 3 Wed. Jun 28, 2:15pm
thoughts on... 3 Wed. Jun 28, 11:29am
Team Boston 2 Wed. Jun 28, 10:33am
Healthy, inexpensive foods 10 Wed. Jun 28, 4:35am
Midland, MI Tri-cities 0 Wed. Jun 28, 1:53am
WW Core vs Flex 3 Tue. Jun 27, 11:25pm
minneapolis 7 Tue. Jun 27, 11:21pm
yay for me! and berry recipe;) 5 Tue. Jun 27, 9:24pm
I am confused over how many cals are in turkey breast!! 3 Tue. Jun 27, 4:20pm
techie question 1 Tue. Jun 27, 3:03pm
looking for missing member 1 Tue. Jun 27, 1:04pm
sleep and weight gain 15 Tue. Jun 27, 11:25am
Is it better to exercise for longer at a slower pace or shorter at a faster pace? 5 Tue. Jun 27, 11:15am
top 5 breakfast, lunch, dinner foods 5 Tue. Jun 27, 10:22am
Has anyone tried to invite a member 2 Tue. Jun 27, 10:21am
Triathlon Relays? 5 Tue. Jun 27, 9:13am
The cost of eating organic? 4 Tue. Jun 27, 9:05am
CA Bay Area Fitness- A forum and motivational portal 0 Tue. Jun 27, 12:27am
CA Bay Area Fitness- A forum and motivational portal 0 Tue. Jun 27, 12:27am
Heart Rate Question 6 Mon. Jun 26, 9:55pm
New Port Nowhere 0 Mon. Jun 26, 7:02pm
New Port Nowhere 0 Mon. Jun 26, 7:01pm
A call to "Greater Bostonians"! 0 Mon. Jun 26, 5:28pm
A call to "Greater Bostonians"! 0 Mon. Jun 26, 5:28pm
Weigh in here--What scale do you recommend? 6 Mon. Jun 26, 4:58pm
Yo Peoples 1 Mon. Jun 26, 4:09pm
Editing public log? 1 Mon. Jun 26, 4:04pm
Recovering from a tough workout? 5 Mon. Jun 26, 1:10pm
Best Resistance Band? 1 Mon. Jun 26, 12:42pm
a great quote for inspiration 5 Mon. Jun 26, 10:51am
New Group- Start your engines! 0 Mon. Jun 26, 8:29am
Nervous to meet BF's Friends 3 Sun. Jun 25, 11:10pm
Commit to loose 2 lbs a week 6 Sun. Jun 25, 9:31pm
spinning butt 10 Sun. Jun 25, 5:45pm
50 consecutive days of exercise starting July 1st. 0 Sun. Jun 25, 4:58pm
Best Spotlight Yet... 0 Sun. Jun 25, 1:27pm
do exercise balls really help or are they just a passing fad? 13 Sun. Jun 25, 8:08am
new moms in the 20something age group looking to retrieve their prepregnancy shape and lose weight. 0 Sun. Jun 25, 12:31am
new moms in the 20something age group looking to retrieve their prepregnancy shape and lose weight. 0 Sun. Jun 25, 12:31am
angry/frustrated about current politics and want to lose weight 0 Sat. Jun 24, 1:00pm
thanks.... 1 Sat. Jun 24, 2:58am
Drinking and weight loss 13 Fri. Jun 23, 10:49pm
Check out the new Member Logs.... 5 Fri. Jun 23, 11:37am
Intentional rest days from working out- any benefit? 7 Fri. Jun 23, 11:12am
Get rid of your fat clothes! 11 Fri. Jun 23, 11:00am
How much water? 14 Fri. Jun 23, 9:28am
Losing weight and promiscuity... 22 Fri. Jun 23, 6:47am
Anyone in Colorado 4 Fri. Jun 23, 5:00am
bad habit HELP 12 Fri. Jun 23, 2:11am
Sluttony, you've lost 42.5 pounds? 2 Fri. Jun 23, 12:15am
WHY, WHY, WHY?!?!?! 17 Thu. Jun 22, 11:31pm
What do you like about your body? 9 Thu. Jun 22, 9:49pm
stop smoking and not gain/lose weight???!!! 0 Thu. Jun 22, 4:53pm
You asked, we listened. 2 Thu. Jun 22, 4:50pm
Dips- how low should you go? 6 Thu. Jun 22, 3:43pm
Calories intaken vs calories used 6 Thu. Jun 22, 3:21pm
Check out Alester's Pics in the Spotlight 4 Thu. Jun 22, 1:38pm
OT: Gels or Acrylics 9 Thu. Jun 22, 1:26pm
Tip of the Day 1 Thu. Jun 22, 11:12am
Every woman should watch this! 1 Thu. Jun 22, 8:05am
Working out cramps? 4 Wed. Jun 21, 3:13pm
Half Marathon Team 0 Wed. Jun 21, 2:23pm
Looking for some new people 0 Wed. Jun 21, 1:09pm
Staying motivated when your job sucks... 10 Wed. Jun 21, 12:17pm
1 space open in group - Are you a WW member? 0 Wed. Jun 21, 10:46am
Starting out abdominal exercises? 2 Wed. Jun 21, 10:30am
Work Out Song!!!! 1 Wed. Jun 21, 10:14am
Realizing stuff 6 Wed. Jun 21, 10:11am
i'm a cookie monster... 8 Tue. Jun 20, 11:52pm
I wish peanut butter and jelly didn't taste sooooo good 5 Tue. Jun 20, 8:28pm
PMS craving strategies 13 Tue. Jun 20, 5:51pm
Looking for one active member 0 Tue. Jun 20, 5:24pm
my butt is flabby and so is my motivation 7 Tue. Jun 20, 11:33am
Annoyed by these new popup Advertisements?!! 10 Tue. Jun 20, 11:30am
New Spotlight is up and running! 2 Tue. Jun 20, 9:27am
a confession 8 Tue. Jun 20, 7:18am
lamisil monster to the right... 6 Tue. Jun 20, 12:00am
STARVING in the afternoons 18 Mon. Jun 19, 3:20pm
Business trips generally and San Antonio Texas specifically 4 Mon. Jun 19, 1:29pm
Starting New Groups 0 Mon. Jun 19, 12:41pm
Shangri La Diet 7 Mon. Jun 19, 10:14am
fast food.. . . ??? 14 Mon. Jun 19, 2:03am
Fun Goal for 40... 4 Mon. Jun 19, 1:03am
OT... 1st Fathers Day without Dad 12 Mon. Jun 19, 12:43am
Treadmill Recommendations 4 Mon. Jun 19, 12:42am
Healthy Cooks Let's Team Up! 0 Sun. Jun 18, 7:45pm
Healthy Cooks Let's Team Up! 0 Sun. Jun 18, 7:45pm
Guy's perspective - Father's Day 9 Sat. Jun 17, 11:49pm
workout music - what do you listen to? 18 Sat. Jun 17, 1:24pm
What should I order for lunch? 6 Sat. Jun 17, 11:17am
Need Nutritional Info on healtfood store stuff.. 6 Sat. Jun 17, 10:41am
Newbie Questions 2 Sat. Jun 17, 10:15am
Need some suggestions!! 5 Sat. Jun 17, 4:28am
Meal planner, grocery list, nutritional info. 3 Fri. Jun 16, 6:47pm
Make a Private Group Public 2 Fri. Jun 16, 12:34pm
PEERtrainer Spotlight... looking for a few good men 0 Fri. Jun 16, 10:35am
Anyone tried eating the same thing everyday? 11 Fri. Jun 16, 5:34am
Intrested in trying the Fat Flush Planwith a slight twist? 8 Thu. Jun 15, 10:07pm
Emotional Eating.... 8 Thu. Jun 15, 9:03pm
Motivation 14 Thu. Jun 15, 8:30pm
To women over 32 30 Thu. Jun 15, 2:29pm
Why won't the weight come off? 9 Thu. Jun 15, 1:13pm
DVD Workouts? 11 Thu. Jun 15, 12:01pm
Stubborn fat- and at goal weight 4 Thu. Jun 15, 10:17am
MSG proven to cause obesity in rats? 4 Thu. Jun 15, 8:21am
Intestinal Bacteria May Explain Obesity 3 Wed. Jun 14, 8:14pm
Don't know squat 2 Wed. Jun 14, 3:50pm
A congratulations is in order!!!!!! 6 Wed. Jun 14, 3:20pm
Intuitive Eating 0 Wed. Jun 14, 2:40pm
USMC vets (reserve or active) 0 Wed. Jun 14, 1:14pm
Stupid and Contangious 1 Wed. Jun 14, 11:30am
How many myspace friends do YOU have? 4 Wed. Jun 14, 11:13am
Getting Started 5 Wed. Jun 14, 10:42am
I HATE THE GYM /CARDIO 16 Tue. Jun 13, 5:41pm
Anyone Pro-Diet Pills? 17 Tue. Jun 13, 4:45pm
problem logging 5 Tue. Jun 13, 3:44pm
How do YOU motivate yourself to exercise? 17 Tue. Jun 13, 3:41pm
PT bug - personal notes 3 Tue. Jun 13, 3:14pm
anyone ever get a hernia from exercise? 5 Tue. Jun 13, 3:13pm
Running Question...please help! 6 Tue. Jun 13, 1:59pm
How often do you indulge? 7 Tue. Jun 13, 1:56pm
Run LIke a Girl 0 Tue. Jun 13, 9:34am
all you can eat pregnancy 11 Tue. Jun 13, 7:37am
Better to give in once or grin and bare it? 11 Tue. Jun 13, 4:27am
energy drinks-are they ok? 6 Mon. Jun 12, 11:47pm
PROBLEMMMMMMMM 11 Mon. Jun 12, 5:47pm
Exercise = Pimples??? 16 Mon. Jun 12, 5:15pm
To lose 10 lbs this month 0 Mon. Jun 12, 4:14pm
Turbo Jam coupon 16 Mon. Jun 12, 4:03pm
Rumsfeld & Aspartame 4 Mon. Jun 12, 2:23pm
Mommy Pounds Chicago 5 Mon. Jun 12, 10:40am
Beer vs. Ice Cream 5 Mon. Jun 12, 10:36am
"What to Eat" nutritionist Marion Nestle tells you how to keep junk food from sneaking into your cart 0 Mon. Jun 12, 9:55am
Speaking of Organic Foods... 8 Mon. Jun 12, 9:33am
normal sodium in mg 6 Mon. Jun 12, 4:36am
Swimmers in Streamwood? 0 Sun. Jun 11, 1:44pm
I LOVE this site 7 Sun. Jun 11, 12:51pm
bloating problems 1 Sun. Jun 11, 12:50pm
Whoever wrote this...thanks! 0 Sat. Jun 10, 8:54pm
The Cost of Weight Watchers 12 Sat. Jun 10, 6:57pm
I totally disagree *#@! 22 Sat. Jun 10, 6:55pm
Intrested in a ............... 3 Sat. Jun 10, 3:14pm
Pat Salber blogging from the American Diabetes Association annual meeting. 0 Sat. Jun 10, 8:38am
Q&A - hilarioius 2 Fri. Jun 9, 7:47pm
Weekend logging/commenting team 1 Fri. Jun 9, 7:34pm
invisible spotlight? 9 Fri. Jun 9, 7:34pm
MYSPACE JUNKIES UNITE 0 Fri. Jun 9, 7:34am
MYSPACE JUNKIES UNITE 0 Fri. Jun 9, 7:34am
Sexless Marriage 62 Fri. Jun 9, 5:44am
Can your job make you dumb? 10 Thu. Jun 8, 11:04pm
Inviting People to Groups 6 Thu. Jun 8, 10:41pm
I want a sticker. 6 Thu. Jun 8, 10:24pm
Birth control and loss of sex drive 9 Thu. Jun 8, 9:49pm
washing sneakers? 10 Thu. Jun 8, 7:28pm
Bridal Shower Quandry 7 Thu. Jun 8, 6:17pm
What to do when food is "pushed" on you? 7 Thu. Jun 8, 6:15pm
"Helpful" people 33 Thu. Jun 8, 12:37pm
Resisting free food 20 Thu. Jun 8, 11:03am
Wireless Bra recommendations 3 Thu. Jun 8, 7:16am
Deprivation: How do you deal with it? 11 Wed. Jun 7, 7:28pm
Elliptical Trainer 10 Wed. Jun 7, 7:18pm
Pushups-- reps vs a lot at one time 2 Wed. Jun 7, 6:13pm
Tush Training 7 Wed. Jun 7, 3:58pm
Fitness Mags 2 Wed. Jun 7, 3:49pm
sports bra suggestions? 14 Wed. Jun 7, 12:52pm
pedometer recommendation? 3 Wed. Jun 7, 12:44pm
Good Soup Recipes? 7 Wed. Jun 7, 12:15pm
chicago is such a cool city! 14 Wed. Jun 7, 11:20am
Need Info on losing weight the healthy way 5 Wed. Jun 7, 10:32am
politics vs. cursing 2 Wed. Jun 7, 10:05am
Enell Bras 6 Wed. Jun 7, 6:22am
Fitness Mags 0 Tue. Jun 6, 9:31pm
Serious question - My Glass of Wine Depends on it! 2 Tue. Jun 6, 4:44pm
Your Age in Chocolate (for fun) 6 Tue. Jun 6, 3:49pm
Diabetics Welcome 0 Tue. Jun 6, 2:30pm
Lost 12 Tue. Jun 6, 1:36pm
pictures not uploading? 3 Tue. Jun 6, 11:14am
A tale of two cheeses... 7 Tue. Jun 6, 10:41am
New, lower target for bad cholesterol 2 Tue. Jun 6, 10:25am
1000 pound man, 600 something pound woman 5 Tue. Jun 6, 4:41am
No chocolate challenge -new team 0 Mon. Jun 5, 6:01pm
Motivation! 0 Mon. Jun 5, 12:49pm
Eating out strategies 8 Mon. Jun 5, 10:52am
3 reasons treadmills are good 14 Mon. Jun 5, 1:47am
pregnant? 5 Sun. Jun 4, 6:55pm
Pregnancy Team Started 0 Sun. Jun 4, 4:29pm
Hellllllppp!!!! diet peer pressure 4 Sun. Jun 4, 1:55pm
Great expectations 7 Sun. Jun 4, 12:48pm
Huge lunch, but I'm hunrgy 6 Sun. Jun 4, 10:40am
PMS 14 Sun. Jun 4, 8:32am
Restaurants in NYC? 8 Sat. Jun 3, 8:14pm
Only liquids for a few days? 11 Sat. Jun 3, 11:03am
Taking a break? 6 Fri. Jun 2, 9:50pm
Donating eggs? 9 Fri. Jun 2, 7:54pm
What to do with frozen cut up yams 7 Fri. Jun 2, 4:59pm
Join :) 0 Fri. Jun 2, 1:10pm
I need...a life 22 Fri. Jun 2, 12:20pm
Losing weight while in European vacation? 8 Fri. Jun 2, 10:55am
keep seeing these south beach ads. 11 Fri. Jun 2, 10:36am
Top 3 Favorite "Diet" Foods 36 Fri. Jun 2, 10:05am
Positive Thinking And Weight Loss, Changing Your Mood 6 Thu. Jun 1, 3:57pm
One spot open in our group for an active poster 0 Thu. Jun 1, 1:27pm
New group for vegetarians 0 Thu. Jun 1, 11:45am
Daily workouts-dry hair 13 Thu. Jun 1, 11:40am
South Beach Dieters Group 2 Thu. Jun 1, 10:49am


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