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Roberta's Reflections: Musings of a Psychotherapist

A PEERtrainer Series on The Psychology of Weight Loss and Health

My Massage

By Roberta Temes, PhD

I'm not the massage type. I've gone all these years never yielding to the lure of a massage because it truly never tempted me. But, in my pocketbook is a gift certificate for Manuelitas Soft Touch. If I don't use it I'll insult my friend Rita, who meant well. If I do use it I will probably perish. What to do?

I show up and find out that Manuelita is the name of the place; Joe is the name of the masseuse or is it masseur? This is not what I signed up for. Joe senses my anxiety. He suggests I calm down. I suggest I come back another day. He's perceptive and asks, This couldn't possibly be your first time, could it?

I admit I'm new to this. Joe says, Nothing to worry about. I specialize in massage virgins. Just take your clothes off and we'll begin.

I want to tell him I just remembered I had a prior appointment; I have to leave immediately. A plane is waiting for me. A cab is waiting for me. I'll take a UFO. Just get me out of here, please.

No such luck. He hands me a sheet and walks out of the room. This reminds me of going for a mammography. I take off my sneakers and socks. I also remove my watch and my earrings. I cannot take off my jeans and sweater. I'm trying to cooperate, I really am, but they just don't come off.

Joe asks, through the door, How are we doing?

"I don't know about you, but I'm not doing so good. I think I might be coming down with something. I dont feel great. You probably don't want to get too close to me."

Joe's response surprises me. "Put your clothes back on and come out here when you're fully dressed. We'll talk some."

What do you mean? Aren't we doing this? Don't we have to go through with it?

No, says Joe. Massage is not a punishment, you know, and it's not for everyone.

I'm intrigued and quickly dress and go out to talk to Joe. He is a middle-aged man with a kind face and enormous hands. Knuckles are bulging out of each finger. He asks me a series of questions:

-Do you feel tension in your back? -Do you get headaches? -Do you have tight hamstring muscles? -Do your shoulders give you a problem? -Are there movements you want to make, but your body wont cooperate?

I answer truthfully. No, no, no, no, and no.

Joe explains that some people are born with good flexibility and dont benefit much from massage unless they have an injury or are particularly stressed. I state that I have no injury, I'm rarely stressed, and I dont like being touched by anyone not related to me. He then asks me a sensible question: Why did you come here?

We agree that I should leave. Am I the only person who's ever flunked massage?

Roberta Temes Article Archive:

    Click Here To Read How Roberta Can Help You Eliminate the Psychological Barriers Keeping You from Following Your Diet. Her program comes with an iron-clad 1 YEAR no questions asked money back guarantee and it's easy to order. If you like Roberta's writing style, you'll probably like her approach to helping you lose weight!

    About the Author

    Roberta Temes, (pronounced Temmis), Ph.D. is Clinical Assistant Professor, Department of Psychiatry, at Downstate Medical School, New York City. She had a private practice in New York City in psychotherapy, coaching, and medical hypnosis for 30 years, and has now relocated that practice to Westfield, NJ.

    Temes is the author of many self-help books and psychology books, as well as the first medical school textbook about hypnosis. She is also the author of the best-selling book, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Hypnosis. Her latest book is called, The Tapping Cure.

    Dr. Temes lectures around the country at corporate meetings, at medical conferences, and at health spas, too. She did a stint as a columnist for a country newspaper where she wrote about acquiring a country house and the trauma of adjusting to fresh air, quiet, and nature. For twenty years Temes wrote a monthly column for True Story magazine. Dr. Roberta, as her clients call her, is now in practice in NJ where she lives with her husband. Her 3 children are grown, with families of their own.

    "The research is mounting: hypnosis can help you lose weight and keep it off longer . . . This set Enjoying Weight Loss has a lot to offer: a warm, fun hypnotist offering sound dietary advice and a variety of trances for a range of issues, from choosing a food plan to avoiding temptation."

    -Jean Fain, Harvard Medical School

    September 2006 Thread Archive. Back to Previous Page

Topic: Replies: Last Post:
TV Workouts 1 Sat. Sep 30, 3:42pm
low fat vs. low calorie 2 Sat. Sep 30, 1:47am
overweight vs. being old 8 Fri. Sep 29, 11:40pm
You go with your big bad self 0 Fri. Sep 29, 7:14pm
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what do you think about?????? 4 Fri. Sep 29, 12:17pm
For Poor Oprah 17 Fri. Sep 29, 12:11pm
Pilates 30 Day Challenge 18 Fri. Sep 29, 11:55am
apple a day not working 1 Fri. Sep 29, 11:24am
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Foam Roll for Bridges and Stretching the Legs 9 Fri. Sep 29, 9:09am
instructors...question 0 Thu. Sep 28, 6:18pm
Crazy Hungry the Day AFTER a Tough Workout? 11 Thu. Sep 28, 5:53pm
depressing comments 9 Thu. Sep 28, 4:00pm
PT tip - personal notes section 3 Thu. Sep 28, 3:57pm
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Fruity Cheerios-- thanks guys 43 Thu. Sep 28, 2:22pm
Making friends 7 Thu. Sep 28, 1:10pm
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Long Beach NY 4 Thu. Sep 28, 9:57am
anonymous postings 9 Thu. Sep 28, 9:09am
PT and blackberry 2 Thu. Sep 28, 6:21am
nutrisystem, jenny craig, packaged diets 13 Wed. Sep 27, 11:54pm
Happy Hour Survival 15 Wed. Sep 27, 7:42pm
tips on fasting 7 Wed. Sep 27, 6:14pm
Diminishing Returns 4 Wed. Sep 27, 5:32pm
how many steps does a pedometer count? 3 Wed. Sep 27, 3:53pm
911 7 Wed. Sep 27, 2:15pm
2 active members wants to 2 more active members 0 Wed. Sep 27, 1:56pm
ab video 9 Wed. Sep 27, 12:44pm
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Plateau Busters! New group! 1 Wed. Sep 27, 11:02am
Best Personal Trainer Certifications 2 Wed. Sep 27, 10:17am
octopat: thanks! 0 Wed. Sep 27, 9:49am
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Best Body Fat Reading? 2 Tue. Sep 26, 2:28pm
Avoiding Holiday Goodies -- Pats on the back 43 Tue. Sep 26, 10:18am
I just went emotional eating crazy... :( 6 Tue. Sep 26, 8:56am
ot-ever record your spouse yelling at you? 14 Tue. Sep 26, 3:10am
open space 2 Tue. Sep 26, 3:09am
If you live in Texas 0 Tue. Sep 26, 2:53am
what does OT mean? 5 Tue. Sep 26, 12:21am
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healty at 100 by john robbins must read 6 Mon. Sep 25, 4:49pm
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home remedy cures for diarrhea? 13 Mon. Sep 25, 10:51am
which hollywood hottie is most desirable looks wise? 13 Mon. Sep 25, 10:26am
Group Member making poor choices 18 Mon. Sep 25, 8:54am
OT relationships 6 Mon. Sep 25, 12:27am
Binge eating 10 Sun. Sep 24, 3:24am
Can sugar do this? 5 Sun. Sep 24, 2:24am
Peer Trainers meeting each other in person 4 Sat. Sep 23, 8:22pm
idea's for sweet snacks 7 Sat. Sep 23, 12:57pm
Rachael Ray 15 Sat. Sep 23, 9:22am
Other than coffee... 9 Sat. Sep 23, 8:46am
Weight Watchers Mommies 4 Fri. Sep 22, 10:16pm
Speaking of diet drinks.... 11 Fri. Sep 22, 4:56pm
moth ball/ and other odd odors 4 Fri. Sep 22, 2:27pm
school lunches made me sick so I didn't eat and my teachers thought I was anaorexic 3 Fri. Sep 22, 1:13pm
hyper extending joints 2 Fri. Sep 22, 12:14pm
calling all men... 32 Fri. Sep 22, 10:49am
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Water Aerobics 9 Fri. Sep 22, 5:53am
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Diet soda makes me hungry... 3 Thu. Sep 21, 5:21pm
question regarding track distance 2 Thu. Sep 21, 2:46pm
Please settle a dispute: which is more important, your diet or working out when it comes to losing weight? 39 Thu. Sep 21, 12:37pm
stadium food 7 Thu. Sep 21, 12:03pm
Funny 1 Thu. Sep 21, 10:40am
green tea 4 Thu. Sep 21, 4:54am
Biggest Loser Fans - Fall 2006 12 Wed. Sep 20, 10:11pm
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do You think it is OK to let your self go once in a while ? 7 Wed. Sep 20, 12:37pm
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ot-would you donate your body to science? 16 Wed. Sep 20, 8:04am
can men and women really be just friends? 62 Wed. Sep 20, 1:32am
Top 20 Web 2.0 Companies 0 Tue. Sep 19, 4:21pm
poking fun at people 6 Tue. Sep 19, 4:06pm
The 15 Questions from OA 12 Tue. Sep 19, 2:31pm
OT-Tammy Bruce-The Death of Right and Wrong: Exposing the Left's Assault on our Culture & Values 1 Tue. Sep 19, 1:42pm
ot-speed limit 30 Tue. Sep 19, 12:43pm
Thanks but no thanks 11 Tue. Sep 19, 8:11am
Vacation Is Over 0 Tue. Sep 19, 4:55am
Group for College Runners 1 Tue. Sep 19, 12:35am
Where are you from 34 Tue. Sep 19, 12:11am
First Half Marathon! 10 Mon. Sep 18, 7:40pm
OT: What is your opinion/experience on living with someone before marrige? 37 Mon. Sep 18, 5:25pm
Secret's of the blah-blah sisterhood...what's up? 3 Mon. Sep 18, 1:26pm
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tips for success in Weight Watchers 3 Mon. Sep 18, 10:59am
Weight loss while home in bed with a cold? 4 Mon. Sep 18, 10:57am
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Team Dallas 2 Mon. Sep 18, 9:39am
Best Way to Build Muscle? 3 Mon. Sep 18, 8:54am
Calories per day 1 Sun. Sep 17, 10:33pm
Run, Bike, Swim.....New Group.....Triathletes come join! 3 Sun. Sep 17, 9:18pm
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Hello 3 Sun. Sep 17, 12:20pm
Eating before a workout? 1 Sun. Sep 17, 7:45am
Elliptical pains? 8 Sun. Sep 17, 3:03am
NEW TEAM : For People that love to log! 1 Sat. Sep 16, 9:59pm
When did you "get" it? 8 Sat. Sep 16, 8:57pm
Coffee Nutrition Info 12 Sat. Sep 16, 6:55pm
Fresh, Bagged Spinach & E Coli - THROW IT AWAY 22 Sat. Sep 16, 6:10pm
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weight watcher group available 2 Sat. Sep 16, 11:30am
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Good arm toning excersises? 9 Sat. Sep 16, 10:29am
posting comments to someone's public log - etiquette question 2 Sat. Sep 16, 10:16am
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healthy grab-n-go snacks 7 Fri. Sep 15, 9:57pm
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passing up the sweets 9 Fri. Sep 15, 12:24pm
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victim mentality 1 Fri. Sep 15, 10:51am
NYT article on exercise and weight loss 3 Fri. Sep 15, 10:46am
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zig zag diet 1 Fri. Sep 15, 1:40am
looking to stay healthy 0 Thu. Sep 14, 6:15pm
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White Rice or Brown Fried Rice? 8 Thu. Sep 14, 8:56am
Orange County Team 1 Thu. Sep 14, 2:29am
poll: known or hidden 20 Thu. Sep 14, 1:24am
knee problem 4 Thu. Sep 14, 1:07am
fish taco calories 4 Thu. Sep 14, 12:22am
AB question 3 Wed. Sep 13, 10:58pm
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welcome compulsive overeaters 2 Wed. Sep 13, 8:30pm
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Diabetes websites/cookbooks 1 Wed. Sep 13, 4:09pm
Stress 5 Wed. Sep 13, 2:45pm
Look awesome for the holidays. Join my team 2 Wed. Sep 13, 2:25pm
beginners training for tri 4 Wed. Sep 13, 1:31pm
TV Mini workouts 7 Wed. Sep 13, 11:00am
Downloadable iPod Workouts 2 Wed. Sep 13, 10:42am
Torn between guys... 15 Wed. Sep 13, 8:21am
overcoming fear... 3 Wed. Sep 13, 3:55am
veins in muscles (vascularity) 0 Tue. Sep 12, 9:49pm
Tanning and execising... 8 Tue. Sep 12, 9:49pm
the Laurel MD area 0 Tue. Sep 12, 9:25pm
Speaking of Apples 16 Tue. Sep 12, 6:44pm
another calorie question... ingredients 5 Tue. Sep 12, 4:50pm
Nutrition for Endurance Athletes? 3 Tue. Sep 12, 4:18pm
Hotdog or Hamburger 6 Tue. Sep 12, 2:26pm
cardio & aerobic activity for weightloss?? 12 Tue. Sep 12, 12:19pm
Draining tofu - help! 4 Tue. Sep 12, 10:37am
How to resist tempting foods? 8 Tue. Sep 12, 9:03am
100 calorie snacks 13 Mon. Sep 11, 11:16pm
seaweed anti-obesity tablet hope! 0 Mon. Sep 11, 10:19pm
My weird brain.......... 2 Mon. Sep 11, 8:23pm
Why I'm going to the gym tonight - thanks "phatty" 1 Mon. Sep 11, 7:41pm
Women with Shorter bf/husbands 9 Mon. Sep 11, 1:49pm
Any SWIMMERS out there? 0 Mon. Sep 11, 12:39pm
calorie question 3 Sun. Sep 10, 7:18pm
looking for fitness and health peers 0 Sun. Sep 10, 5:56pm
The Lights Just Went On.... 1 Sun. Sep 10, 3:13pm
OT: Top ways to defend the status quo 0 Sun. Sep 10, 10:47am
where IS everyone??? 9 Sun. Sep 10, 10:13am
HELP!! I AM DOING IT... AGAIN 9 Sun. Sep 10, 8:35am
Bosu 9 Sun. Sep 10, 7:00am
ENOUGH with the PMS threads!!! 8 Sun. Sep 10, 3:56am
Intuitive eating. stop spamming. 9 Sat. Sep 9, 10:49pm
A nice way of say no to someones dinner... 4 Sat. Sep 9, 10:14pm
don't feed the humans 0 Sat. Sep 9, 7:17pm
Fat Flush Book? 1 Sat. Sep 9, 4:14pm
Do you think if I lost weight I wouldn't have to take pills for my indigestion? 10 Sat. Sep 9, 2:40pm
monthly cramps-don't read if not interested... 8 Sat. Sep 9, 2:34pm
Looking for a group that logs daily and on weekends. 7 Sat. Sep 9, 11:52am
"Support" 10 Sat. Sep 9, 7:37am
Boston MSPCA walk on Sunday??? 1 Fri. Sep 8, 7:21pm
how can I keep eggplant from turning brown and what about those seeds?? 3 Fri. Sep 8, 6:06pm
write a review of pt 5 Fri. Sep 8, 12:23pm
Need exercise? 6 Fri. Sep 8, 12:15pm
Body For Life Team! "BFL" 0 Fri. Sep 8, 12:06pm
Problem food. Cold Turkey or gradual? 14 Fri. Sep 8, 10:50am
PEERtrainer @ Work 0 Fri. Sep 8, 10:17am
Want to try Intuitive Eating? Join the group! 1 Fri. Sep 8, 5:45am
Looking for new group members - 40+ active women in New England 2 Thu. Sep 7, 10:10pm
What does "Join Me" mean? 2 Thu. Sep 7, 3:00pm
really upset about lack of support. 19 Thu. Sep 7, 1:46pm
Any FIRM video lovers here? 7 Thu. Sep 7, 11:48am the house?! 2 Thu. Sep 7, 10:45am
who loses weight faster if truly dedicated 8 Thu. Sep 7, 10:10am
Old post on daily weigh-in and calculating an average daily loss 12 Wed. Sep 6, 9:44pm
Probably for the women only! 10 Wed. Sep 6, 6:34pm
2 Groups 6 Wed. Sep 6, 6:21pm
How soon does your PMS start? 7 Wed. Sep 6, 6:13pm
Do you gain weight during your period or the week before? 3 Wed. Sep 6, 6:09pm
my email 5 Wed. Sep 6, 4:55pm
my email 0 Wed. Sep 6, 2:27pm
Do you burn more calories during PMS and your period? 2 Wed. Sep 6, 1:46pm
fat burners? 4 Wed. Sep 6, 1:11pm
PMS cravings- it ain't all in your mind! 8 Wed. Sep 6, 1:03pm
Are you a hungry beast during your period? 12 Wed. Sep 6, 1:03pm
Steroids 4 Wed. Sep 6, 12:29pm
Triathalon 15 Wed. Sep 6, 12:22pm
How do I make my log show up in the public logs? 3 Wed. Sep 6, 12:20pm
should I buy a scale? 6 Wed. Sep 6, 11:38am
boyfriend advice 7 Wed. Sep 6, 11:26am
join us - MWWTLW & Vacation Is Over 1 Wed. Sep 6, 2:04am
Netflix workout DVDs 9 Tue. Sep 5, 10:50pm
cucumber 6 Tue. Sep 5, 9:09pm
how to best support? 3 Tue. Sep 5, 8:50pm
a wolf in sheep's clothing! 19 Tue. Sep 5, 7:47pm
Portabella Mushrooms..... 11 Tue. Sep 5, 3:46pm
Intuitive Eating & Weight Watchers 9 Tue. Sep 5, 12:49pm
Looking for 3 workout diet buddies 0 Tue. Sep 5, 12:38pm
OT: posh spice is pregnant again 0 Tue. Sep 5, 12:30pm
You're so vain, you probably think this thread is about you... 13 Tue. Sep 5, 12:26pm
how long does it take till you gain the weight from a binge 2 Tue. Sep 5, 11:42am
My Summer Vacation... 3 Tue. Sep 5, 11:40am
Negative Calorie Foods? 12 Tue. Sep 5, 10:51am
Info on weight loss benefits of antioxidants? 0 Tue. Sep 5, 10:00am
Free nestles baking chocolate 4 Tue. Sep 5, 7:36am
Housework 14 Tue. Sep 5, 4:57am
Mainebird, where did you go? We miss you! 0 Tue. Sep 5, 4:33am
invincible - the movie 3 Tue. Sep 5, 2:33am
what is the better increase?: weights 4 Mon. Sep 4, 9:09pm
Rear Delts 2 Mon. Sep 4, 9:07pm
Did you "Get The Edge"? 0 Mon. Sep 4, 8:56pm
Poll: Are groups you start better than groups you join? 2 Mon. Sep 4, 8:11pm
How do I stop eating so much at night? Please help! 31 Mon. Sep 4, 3:00pm
Green Tea- believe the hype? 10 Mon. Sep 4, 12:55pm
Big Butt! but all muscle... 2 Mon. Sep 4, 12:41pm
evil bananas... 30 Mon. Sep 4, 5:30am
Sugar in Cereal 1 Sun. Sep 3, 10:15am
ddr (dance dance revolution) video game? 3 Sun. Sep 3, 8:04am
Ladies Workout Express 0 Sun. Sep 3, 1:13am
The 10-10-10- question 10 Sat. Sep 2, 3:40pm
What's a nice way to tell someone to stop being preachy? 13 Sat. Sep 2, 5:15am
I think I might quit paying to lose weight! 12 Sat. Sep 2, 4:26am
Bienvenidos 2 Fri. Sep 1, 11:17pm
new group - join me! 0 Fri. Sep 1, 2:28pm
How quickly do you lose weight? 4 Fri. Sep 1, 1:27pm
New group started 0 Fri. Sep 1, 12:37pm
master cleanse? 0 Fri. Sep 1, 12:33pm
richard simmons 16 Fri. Sep 1, 11:58am
Team Dallas 5 Fri. Sep 1, 10:48am
losing weight and giving blood 10 Fri. Sep 1, 10:14am
Genetically Modified food agrument 9 Fri. Sep 1, 9:35am
Chipotle Ideas? 9 Fri. Sep 1, 9:26am
Halloween 18 Fri. Sep 1, 5:59am

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