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OT -not sure how to handle!
i walked in on something last night that has me speechless, not sure what to say or do. My husband and I hang out with two other couples on our street. Us ladies planned to go out to dinner last night, leave the kids with the dads, nothing crazy just dinner and walk around the mall a little bit. I walked over to the one friends house (she said she would drive and for me and the other friend to meet at her house). I walked in through the garage (like we all always do) and i saw her and our other friend KISSING while sitting on the couch! kissing and moving their hands allover each other. WTF!!!!!!!! I walked back out and then came back in more loudly announcing myself - they acted fine after that - just normal as always. I'm kind of creeped out now, all of our kids play together, I guess it really has nothing to do with me and i should mind my own business but its just WEIRD.. what should i do if anything?
Sat. Feb 2, 12:00am
Nothing! Let them be!
Saturday, February 02, 2008, 1:23 AM
Yep, do nothing.............
Saturday, February 02, 2008, 10:47 AM
Yeah, nothing, I agree. Its not your business, you don't know the whole story.
Saturday, February 02, 2008, 10:59 AM
So, the other friend is female also? OMG Tell your husband about it and see what he thinks you should do . At least that is what I would do.
Saturday, February 02, 2008, 11:00 AM
Definitely in with the do nothing camp...and I'd also recommend ringing the doorbell or knocking in general...basically you were in their space. I also would not tell your husband.
Saturday, February 02, 2008, 11:55 AM
They're probably the normal "soccer moms" that Oprah talks about that are into swinging that the rest of us would never guess. They look completely normal in their vanilla lives!
I personally see nothing wrong with it and am with the rest of the people here that said, don't say anything and don't say anything to hubby either. Let them be as long as they're not intentionally doing things in front of you that make you feel uncomfortable.
Saturday, February 02, 2008, 12:26 PM
Let them do their thing. You would never have known any different if you had not caught them.
Either that or ask them if they want a threesome
:) Just kidding.
Saturday, February 02, 2008, 12:54 PM
I agree, do nothing. What can you do? And don't let it bother you so much or you will ruin your friendship with this group of women which in turn will ruin your childs friendship. I think the real question here is why does it bother you so much? And whatever you do, don't tell your husband. Its none of his business and it shouldn't change the way you relate to these women.
Saturday, February 02, 2008, 1:45 PM
Do nothing, do NOT tell your husband. There are many sides to every story. It would shock me too! But you have to let these women handle whatever is happening on their own.
Saturday, February 02, 2008, 4:24 PM
Well, I disagree with the others. These friends of yours are married, right? So, isn't this adultruous behaviour? If one of your friends caught your husband making out with another guy, wouldn't you want her to have the decency to tell you? I'm SO not about secrets, especially when it comes to marriages. Definitely tell your husband, and I'd talk to these women too. They may be getting in deeper than they planned and need someone to burst the balloon. Good luck!
Saturday, February 02, 2008, 5:01 PM
If you feel you MUST talk to someone, talk to the women only. Let them handle it
Saturday, February 02, 2008, 5:03 PM
5:01...I would recommend that you read Atonement...the book by Ian McEwan (or watch the movie). Confrontation is also a terrible idea. The OT walked into the person's house and saw something she didn't understand. She can read all kinds of things into it but it seems waiting and doing and saying nothing seems the wisest action.
Depending on where these women live all kinds of terrible things could happen to them. We live in a homophobic culture and she doesn't know or understand what she saw...The other thing is this is a friend...the friend may be going through something and may eventually tell her friend...or it may have been a moment in time and in a moment walking in might have been misunderstood.
"Telling" puts the OT in a terrible position....and puts her friend in possible peril. If something is going on, she will leave her marriage. She doesn't need an outside reporter.
Saturday, February 02, 2008, 6:17 PM
I'm with you 5:01 adultry is adultry no matter who it is with.
It needs to be dealt with.
How exactly I don't know.
Saturday, February 02, 2008, 8:30 PM
Even if it is adultry - it is not the OPs adultry. Its strange and maybe a little uncomfortable, but there are families involved and they should handle this potential sensitive issue on their own terms and on their own time.
Just because one sees something they think is immoral - it doesn't turn them into God and give them the right to interfre. If you intervene, the consequences will be disasterous.
Just leave them
Sunday, February 03, 2008, 10:56 AM
I don't know how to handle this one but I don't understand the big deal with not telling the husband. I would tell my husband, mostly because I would need someone to talk to about it so I didn't feel like I was walking around with this huge secret. Then we could decide together what the best course of action (or inaction) would be together. I guess it depends on whether or not your husband is a good secret keeper.
Sunday, February 03, 2008, 3:43 PM
speaking as a husband- I would be PSYCHED!!! if my wife was into that. In fact he probably knows and is totally psyched. love it. people are so uptight about stuff.
Sunday, February 03, 2008, 3:49 PM
I think I would laugh and then talk to the two women about it. They probably are swingers. Or they are bored housewives. Or they are in love with each other. Who cares? Their husbands could be totally into it OR totally in the dark about it.
Why did so many women say "Do NOT tell your husband"? I tell my husband everything. He would get a kick out it!
I agree 3:49-People are so uptight about this stuff!
Live and let live. I find it hilarious.
Sunday, February 03, 2008, 7:44 PM
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