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Mon. Jan 1, 12:00am
This is COMPLETELY normal, as your clitoris is on the outside of your body and it is responsible for giving you an orgasm. I know some women have orgasms during sex, but many do not. I, for one, do not, but have no problem during foreplay.
Saturday, February 02, 2008, 9:14 PM
Yes, I think it is quite normal for a number of women to reach climax not during the actual intercourse, but only during other forms of stimulation.
However, it shouldn't matter what is normal or not. The only thing that matters is that you both enjoy what you're doing. If that is the case, don't worry how other women experience sexual intimacy. :)
Saturday, February 02, 2008, 9:16 PM
Haha, the only way I climax is if my clitoris is directly stimulated. If I climax during actual intercourse it's only because our bodies were in the right position for my clitoris to have some attention. You are completely normal. Don't worry about when or how you can climax, just be glad that you do and know that it's okay and perfectly right for you (and millions of other women).
Sunday, February 03, 2008, 12:09 AM
yup, I fake it during intercourse most of the time. Clitoral stimulation is what I need for orgasm, so the big O usually only happens when I'm by myself.
Sunday, February 03, 2008, 1:27 AM
Totally, totally normal.
When I got married around your age I was very inexperienced and had a lot of misconceptions about sex. (you're just suppose to have sex and it will be wonderful, right?...wrong!)
I highly recommend you get a book about sex to read with your husband. If you are shy about sex I understand that going to the library or bookstore to get such a book is intimidating, but it is SO worth it. If you're not too shy about getting a somewhat "exciting" book most book stores should have a good selection to choose from. If you ARE a bit shy I reccomend the book "Hot Manogomy".
Sunday, February 03, 2008, 3:33 PM
I have always been the same way. If I don't have stimulation I can't. I am married to a wonderful man that was feeling like he was doing something wrong. After a long discussion on it I either stimulate myself (which he loves or he me know sex is GREAT
Sunday, February 03, 2008, 4:48 PM
Our Bodies Ourselves is a great resource too and has been around and rewritten many times. The good news is you are having orgasms...some women who are inexperienced don't until they learn their body responses. Also, the vulva (the labia, clitoris and vagina) are the women's sex organ so really you are not outside your sex organ when you respond to being touched.
It's great you asked this question. I am sure there are others who wonder too and are too shy to ask.
Sunday, February 03, 2008, 6:56 PM
that's totally normal for me too. It's taken a long time to have anything internal and I still struggle. And I'm 27 so you just get to practice more! :-)
Monday, February 04, 2008, 12:28 PM
I would suggest also getting some toys so that you can learn what things make you react. Use them alone and with your partner. That really helped my husband and I.
Monday, February 04, 2008, 12:57 PM
Keys to the Kingdom
The MYTH is that vaginal penetration is the most common way a woman achieves orgasm. It is the other way around-clitoral stimualtion is the most common-far and wide. It is a myth that is very convenient for MEN, of course as it relinqishes the more selfish among them from doing anything other than pleasing themselves i.e. pursuing intercourse to the exclusion of orall and manually stimulating a woman's clitoris. you'll find tons on this subject on the web and in libraries.
I have a theory about why we are designed this way. Only a worthy suitor, who consideratly explores a woman's body and gives her intense pleaure, via her clitorus, should be allowed to "enter".; )
Monday, February 04, 2008, 2:51 PM
I'm very fortunate to be abe to orgasm both clitorally and vaginally. However I really can't handle clitoral stimulation during intercourse - it's like the poor thing gets sensory overload and just ends up irritated. So it really doesn't do much for me unless I'm solo. Over the years and many conversations with many female friends, I have come to recognize that I am not the 'norm'. Fortunately my great sex life makes up for that ;-)
Point being - you are absolutely normal, but so what if you weren't? Viva la difference I say! You've found what works for you, so explore that and have fun with it. The best sex comes after you are comfortable with yourself and know what you like - regardless of what it is. Enjoy!
Monday, February 04, 2008, 4:02 PM
Probably More than You wanted to Know, but here's some Ideas
Trojan makes a condom now with a vibrating ring that holds it on the penis--very sensual!
Penis rings with a clitoris stimulator can be picked up at your local Fantasy Gifts or through the internet and are very private. That way you can orgasm in any position.
Ice in the vagina works wonders for me for stimulations.
just some ideas. have fun!
Monday, February 04, 2008, 4:10 PM
the clitoris has both internal and external parts. its internal part is much larger, but more difficult to stimulate because it is surrounded by other tissues. When a woman is vaginally stimulated, it is in fact stimulation of an internal part of the clitoris through the wall of the vagina.
so anyway, you are perfectly normal!
it is dificult for some guys to find the right spot with their hand -- and some guys of course have rough hands from work, and that might not be so fun. my point being, don't be afraid to rub yourself during intercourse if that's what it takes.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008, 7:45 AM
A cock ring or cockring is a ring that is placed around a man's penis, usually at the base, primarily to slow the leakage of blood from the erect penile tissue, thus maintaining erection for longer. Cock rings can be worn around just the penis or penis and scrotum, or just the scrotum alone, though this is usually designated as a testicle cuff. Rings can be made of a variety of different materials, most commonly leather, rubber, or silicone, though nylon and metal are also used either as the main component or part of the closure. Confusingly, the term cock ring is sometimes used as a synonym for a Prince Albert piercing, a piercing of the penis that is often, though not exclusively, a metal ring.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008, 2:45 PM
i'm the one who suggested the penis ring and the condoms with the vibrator and i have to tell you i prefer the penis ring with a clitoris stimulator over the vibrating condom. i find the vibration is a little too much for both of us. my hubby likes the ring, too because he lasts longer.
no hazards, only if he leaves it on too long. and buy a couple of them becase they're rubber and rubber brakes down. so, use one ring 5 times, then discard.
Thursday, February 07, 2008, 10:34 AM
I have had sex with several partners yet have never have had an orgasm... either clitoral or vaginal. I have tried everything and so have my partners! Any suggestions?
(and when i say never.. i mean I have never been able to give myself an orgasm either!)
Thursday, February 07, 2008, 8:56 PM
Thursday, February 07, 2008, 10:34 AM checking in!
Hi 8:56 pm. I'm no sex expert, believe me. But I was lucky enough when I was 20 to have a male friend who was very experienced and spent months teaching me things and then we both experimented with new things (what a win-win that was--he got lots of sex and i learned more than i ever thought i would know!)
here's a couple of things that help me:
1. you'll never find a better lover than yourself. I know how terrible that sounds, but only you know what feels right and what feels good and what doesn't. have sex with yourself one night. I'm absolutely serious about that. Start out with a nice warm bath (the warm water against the vagina will increase blood flow), have some wine to relax, listen to your favorite music (nothing gets me in the mood more than the soundtrack from the movie CIty of Angels--erotic music!), light some candals for ambiance. Don't think about the pressure of having an orgasm, don't go into this expecting to have one--it's too much pressure. Then, when you're feeling ready, hop in to bed and take your time, think about what feels good and what turns you on.
2. watch a hot sexy movie. my favorite is Fire and Ice. Absolutely erotic and gets me everytime!
3. Use K-Y warming jelly to increase blood flow.
4. Toys are optional, but they add pleasure.
5. Don't enter your fingers into the vagina. Most of the time, that's not where the stimulation comes from, so when men constantly try to arouse a woman using fingers, it actually dries the vaginal area leaving a less than desirable feeling.
6. this one isn't for everyone, but don't forget to touch yourself in the "back door". I have a friend who has never had a vaginal orgasm, but always orgasms when having anal sex. it's just how her body works.
7. don't forget to find those little areas of the body that, according to chinese medicine, are stimulants for arousal, like the back of the knees, parts of the toes, behind the neck, inside the thighs, etc. find them.
i hope you can use even one of these suggestions. good luck to you.
Friday, February 08, 2008, 10:01 AM
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