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My husband caught me eating a pop tart this morning.

I have a pop tart maybe once in 5 years and I really wanted one this morning. I brought them home and hid them in my purse, sneaking a bite here and there and he picked up my purse when i wasn't looking and found them. Why do I feel like I have to hide a pop tart! It's not like I eat them every day. He thinks one pop tart will put 3 pounds on me right away. I'm frustrated, I ended up not even eating the whole thing.

Wed. Jan 25, 9:41am

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This sounds a tad one-sided. I'd like to hear his side of the story!!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006, 9:51 AM

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My guess is that he was upset b/c you were hiding it - i.e. he thinks, "what else is she hiding?" I suggest, tonight, you apologize for hiding it from him, and promise him that you're not hiding anything else, whether it's food or something bigger (and follow through on this promise!)

As for why you're hiding it, that's easy: you're ashamed to be eating a pop tart. Why you're ashamed, I'm not sure. If I remember correctly, a pop tart has around 200 calories. If you want to eat one, just cut 200 calories out of the rest of your day. On occasion, that really won't hurt you. And, if you know you're doing it consciously, there's nothing to be ashamed of! If you eat a pop tart as an early evening or late evening snack, then just eat a bunch of vegetables and, say, half a chicken breast or a few shrimp, cooked w/ a little soy sauce or something for dinner. That dinner is so low-cal that an extra 200 calories won't hurt.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006, 9:56 AM

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I guess I'm more concerned as to why your husband would be so upset. It sounds like a control issue. No wonder you want to sneak it.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006, 11:27 AM

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I agree with the poster who said the original post is a bit one sided but I also agree with the other posters who say if you want a pop tart have one but fit it into your calories for the day.

I suspect though that if you were sneaking bites throughout the day you probably LOOKED suspicious...if he knows you're trying to lose weight he was probably trying to figure out what was going on and help (in a misguided attempt...he shouldn't have gone into your purse without permission).

P.S. I also get the occasional pop tart craving and I have NO idea why because usually I find them sickly sweet.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006, 12:06 PM

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While it's nice that your husband is supporting your healthy eating efforts, it's not his job to police it. In the end, it's only your buisness and straying from a "healthy" diet everyone once in a while IS healthy.

Food shouldn't be about guilt. It should be about listening to your body.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006, 12:10 PM

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I agree! As soon as you feel strong enough to eat "forbidden" foods out in the open, the sooner you'll be totally healthy in mind and body. I can eat out in the open with most fatty or sugary things, but I still eat chips solo, even if EVERYONE in the known world knows I have a cheat day. I just can't let go of eating them alone. Something for us to work on.
I can relate to your husband doing that to you, my BF did that to me a couple of times. I finally stopped asking him to "help" me and just do my own thing. He happily obliged, since he didn't have to be the bad guy anymore.
Good luck, and go ahead and eat the pop tart once in a while! :)

Wednesday, January 25, 2006, 6:22 PM

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it's your weight, not his. Let him be mad!! It's your body and you control what goes into it. Obviously you were feeling guilty about eating a poptart-why? Because of your standards or his?

Wednesday, January 25, 2006, 6:39 PM

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I am curious as to why your husband would be so upset. Is he upset that you were hiding it or was he upset because he thought you shouldn't be eating it? Either way it is not his place to be mad at you and why is he going into your purse? My hubby would never think of doing that unless he asked and even then he would likely bring me my purse. Is he a control freak? If he is maybe you were hiding it because of him. You shouldn't feel ashamed for eating a pop tart.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006, 8:34 PM

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it sounds as if you are really hiding it from yourself, not from your husband. perhaps thinking, if he doesn't see it, the snack doesn't count? a lot of us have been food sneakers-it's not easy to overcome. Just be honest with him and tell him that you do have a problem. Sometimes just opening up about it may make you think twice about what you are going to do. It's okay to have a poptart, it's not okay to hide them in your purse.

Thursday, January 26, 2006, 1:50 PM

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I'd like to "weigh-in" on this subject. I can completely relate to what you feel because as a food-hider, I have had the same thing happen to me. I am notorious for hiding food - from my husband, my kids, my parents when I lived at home and even sometimes myself. Then, I eat it and I have the guilts, or someone says something and the guilt is amplified.

I am now on Weight Watchers and am very careful about what I eat. My husband is also overweight and diabetic, so he also has to be careful about what he eats. The problem is that now that I am gung-ho on a program, I feel the need to police the choices that not only I, but he, makes. Perhaps your husband doesn't struggle with his weight, but it does work both ways.

Maybe you have a similar situation - your husband cares about you, wants to see you succeed in losing weight and mentioned it to you out of concern (I am not even going to address him getting into your purse). I know that that is why, in the past, my mom or dad or grandma had made comments to me when they discovered (in whatever manner - my mom was famous for going through the garbage for wrappers) that I was eating more than what I should have or something that was bad for me. I resented the comments, but I always knew that they meant well. I think that although his approach may have been slightly odd, he does have your best interest at heart. I agree with the poster who said to apologize for hiding it from him, but let him know that you ARE trying and one deliciously nasty poptart isn't going to make or break your diet (as they are delightful every now and then).

Good luck - it's hard to get past hiding food, but it is liberating once you realize that nothing is truly off limits (and therefore should be hidden), we just have to put limits on the things that are more detrimental than others.



Thursday, January 26, 2006, 4:22 PM

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Thank you for everyone's comments. I never realized, until RIGHT NOW that this wasn't about my husband. I never realized this was about me, hiding food. I do hide food, I'm in a little shock that I'm admitting this right now. I've been hiding food since high school. My mom would never let me have anything bad (sweets, juice, etc) in the house so I would buy and entire package of ho hos and hide them under my bed. I didn't realize that this is what I do.

Friday, January 27, 2006, 2:47 PM

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Congratulations on your revelation!! Don't you feel liberated?!

My sister is a food hider - under her bed, in the trunk of her car, etc. She's also sloppy/messy (ADD), and at one point actually had mold growing in the carpet of her car! Eww! I'm somewhat of a food sneaker, though. I'll wait until no one is around, and then eat the things that are in the cupboard that I'm not supposed to eat, like cookies or chocolate chips. My parents are both overweight as well. As children, we were allowed to have sweets, but in limited portions (i.e. 2 oreos, etc.) I wonder why we didn't learn portion control, but instead learned to sneak extras...?? I wonder what causes that!

Friday, January 27, 2006, 2:56 PM

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I will admit that I also hide food. I would buy chips or salami and hide it in my bedroom when I was younger. Now that I'm married, I don't hide food from my husband, but I will quicly eat chocolate or something else in our cabinets when he's not in the room. It's not about my husband, I just feel guilty about eating something non nutritious so I'll only eat it when I'm alone. Also, if I buy a candy bar at the store, I'll eat it in the car and throw away the wrappers in the outside garbage so he doesn't see any evidence. I know the calories still count even if nobody sees me eating it, I just feel ashamed for eating candy when I'm overweight.

I just wanted the original poster to know she is not alone. Good luck in overcoming this behavior. I need to work on this as well.

Friday, January 27, 2006, 3:06 PM

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Wow, this thread is really interesting! What a great discussion! I admit, I do hide some food, but less and less as I am learning to eat better.

I am concerned for you about the controlling husband issue. For years I've watched my father constantly criticize my mother for every little thing she would eat that he thought was too much - a teaspoon too much butter, an extra piece of bread, and she is a food hider and now has diabetes. I find candy stashed in odd places in their house. I think his criticism drove her to eat more junk, because she felt she had to hide it, and so it pains me to hear of this dynamic going on with you.

Saturday, January 28, 2006, 7:11 PM

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I also am a food sneaker or I should say was. I realized years ago that even though I would sneak a bite of this or that here and there when no one was looking or I was alone in the house and thought no one would know it was me or that it was missing, i'm sure a lot of you know what I'm talking about, but I realized before to long everyone else knew someone was eating it and it was only a matter of time that they figured it out. One day when I ran to the store to replace the pint of ice cream I ate I had this total epiphany. I don't have to do this, I am in control of me and I am not going to do this anymore, I wasn't fooling anyone and I am only hurting myself. After that moment I never did it again. In fact I told my husband what I had been doing and he said he had known for a long time that I did this and didn't know how to approach me about it. I can't tell you how good it felt. We all have the inner strength to regain control over our own lives and sometimes it just takes a while to learn how to get that control. Its a good thing you got caught and it a step in the right direction to figure out this about yourself no matter how shocked you are. Maybe now you can gain the control. And know that even if you are overweight it doesn't mean you have to deny yourself anything. I think that is where the biggest mistake we all make, denying ourselves, telling ourselves we CAN'T have that. If you can learn to be okay with having it maybe you will start to see things change. Good luck.

Saturday, January 28, 2006, 8:30 PM

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I wonder how things turned out for this poster.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006, 11:21 PM

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This thread is amazing. I too have been a food hider for years. Now that I'm in a stable and non-competative relationship, things have improved a bit for me. But it often manifests itself in eating food outside of the home (indulgent lunches for example), and not mentioning it, rather than hiding food in the house.

I think I feel bad about the money spent, luxury food eaten, and cals consumed.



Thursday, May 04, 2006, 10:07 AM

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I was this poster and it was kind of strange to realize what I'm doing. Now that I am aware of it, it's even more strange when I do it. But I do still do it. My husband "caught" me with a chocolate bar in my bag the other day and it dawned on me that I'm still doing this. I thought about this thread. I guess I'm not ready to take action yet or even sit down to analyze why I do it.

Thursday, May 04, 2006, 10:20 AM

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Wow, I hadn't seen this thread before. Interesting.
From the "other side," I was once very into food as a form of rebellion. My mother used to tell me how fat I was and how this made me a disgusting person, so I would take thirds and fourths at dinner (even when I was actually full to bursting) and make sure she watched me eat EVERY BITE. It was kind of fun to see her work herself up, getting more and more distressed.

I no longer have food issues (am working more on fitness and muscles than on weight loss) but remain a VERY public eater -- prefer to eat with others, and am more likely to overeat when with others.

Thursday, May 04, 2006, 11:42 AM

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This was a very interesting post.

Monday, November 27, 2006, 9:14 PM

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Well I'll join the club. Back when I was overweight and my husband knew I wasn't happy he would try to give me gentle reminders like do you really want to eat that... so what would I do? Grab the box of doughnuts hide a few in my shirt and sneak to the bathroom. That's when I knew I was not in a good place. I now don't let myself eat something unless it's out in the open. I don't hide from my husband, others, or most of all myself. I admit to everything I eat. If I want a treat and to enjoy myself I do it, but I don't hide from it.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006, 7:38 AM

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All I can say is Good Luck! My fathrer use to watch watever I ate and it made me crazy. That is how I started sneak eating. I hope you had a gfriend you could complain to who told it is just a poptart not a mood changing drug. This is nobig deal. Now if you start eating boxes thats a problem. Don't worry though I am sure it will all work out. The fool proably thinks he is helping. Which reminds me of a joke.
There is a new study just released by the American Psychiatric Association about women and how they feel about their asses.
The results are pretty interesting:

1. 5% of women surveyed feel their ass is too big.
2. 10% of women surveyed feel their ass is too small.
3. The remaining 85% say they don't care; they love him; he's a good man, and they would have married him anyway.


Tuesday, November 28, 2006, 7:11 PM

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This was wild to see this resurrected. I am the OP, the original hider of the pop tarts. Just yesterday, I hid an almond joy bar because I really wanted one and didn't want to deal with the looks.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006, 7:52 PM

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Hey I thought I was the orginal hider1

Tuesday, November 28, 2006, 8:03 PM

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I hide food too. I think it's more common that you think. It's understandable, it's a judgmental world out there.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006, 10:04 AM

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Do you have a backbone? You have to hide your food? Doesn't make sense.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006, 1:24 PM

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it's not about having a back bone. obviously, if you haven't experienced this first hand it is hard to understand, if possible at all. it's really a shame issue. i often hide purchases, not just food, but clothes, cookware, anything that i know i do not need to be spending money on at the time, but did so anyway because "it was such a great deal! and i'm going to buy it eventually..." it can be rooted in how you were raised or how you were treated by your peers in school, or even in the changes your body experienced during puberty. some people develope complex behaviors to deal with certain stresses. it is not a sign of weakness, just an indication that some soul-searching is in order. and it's definitely not helpful to ridicule or further shame someone who has started noticing and has admitted to this behavior and is reaching out for help in ending it. good luck to all of us!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006, 2:49 PM

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When I hid food it was not a matter of having a backbone. It was a matter of being ashamed

Wednesday, November 29, 2006, 10:08 PM

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there is another discussion on the forum that relates to many of these comments. hope you will find some insight here.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007, 11:09 AM

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I did this again. Help me.

Monday, May 28, 2007, 8:20 PM

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Leave it sounds like there is alot more going on behind both of your four walls( mental and physical are over weight you need to find a man who can embrace everything about you...... Trust me guys like a little but.... I love pop tarts and if someone is going to stand in your way of something you love run them over when they stand in your way...... Hiding pop tarts and he gets angry? sounds like he has nothing better to do but pick on you....shame on him for being so weak...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010, 9:37 PM

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