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Scared to weigh myself
I am 24 and am overweight. I eat healthy, but I have a problem not binging/purging. I am in overeaters anon to help out on that end. But lately, I have been avoiding weighing myself. I also have been running low on the motivation. Eating less healthy, etc. It's very strange.
I know that the only thing that could get me back on track would be weighing in. However...I am frightened. I havent done so in about four-six weeks, and the way I binge/purge, I am capable of gaining 8 pounds in a week.
I guess I'm just looking for some motivation to get back on track. I work out six times a week, attend meetings three times a week, and eat three, well-rounded healthy meals about 5 times a week. I don't do drugs and I drink twice a week (usually just diet coke and vodka).
Kind words and motivation are appreciated. Please no lectures. :)
Sun. Feb 17, 3:27pm
if you're not interested in the truth (lectures) and only want kind words (acceptance), lack of motivation is the least of your problems. As nike says, "just do it" quit the whining, quit looking to others for "kind words", just do what you already know you need to do.
Sunday, February 17, 2008, 4:45 PM
A few ideas...
Could you try setting a no-excuses weigh-in deadline for a couple days from now? Until then, you might feel more motivated to eat healthier and workout, so you can get back on track and will be in a better position to deal with a weight gain if it comes up. Or weigh yourself the morning of an OA meeting, so if it does make you depressed and you feel a binge coming on, you'll have an outlet that might help you avoid those destructive behaviors. Gather all the motivation that's helped you in the past (websites, weight-loss books, success stories, images of clothing you'll be able to wear when you lose weight, etc) and surround yourself with those things that remind you how good it feels to be on track, and how your life will be so much more comfortable, fun, and healthy when you are in control. Good luck!!
Sunday, February 17, 2008, 4:56 PM
I have struggled with bulimia for 8 years - I went to a treatment center 4 years ago and it helped SIGNIFICANTLY but one thing they taught there is to stop weighing yourself. That was great advice to help with the obsessive behaviors and probably a good life-long habit for the patients that were more anorexic - but I used it as an excuse to let myself go. I have started weighing myself a few times a week and it has greatly helped me stay on track wtih weight loss. When the numbers aren't "doing what I want them to" I can't let it stress me out (stress=binging), I just have to move on and make smarter choices moving forward. I found that when I have a bad binge/purge week the number goes up and that is HUGE motivation to stop those behaviors. I know I will slip - this is part of my life - but the important part is that I have an increasing higher number of good days as time goes on.
My advice to you - suck it up, weigh yourself, don't obsess, and use it as a tool to a healthier you!
Sunday, February 17, 2008, 7:01 PM
I struggled all week wanting to weigh....weigh... weigh I realized an old behavior trying to peek its ugly head out again. You ARE stronger the that urge and can weigh once aweek make it one day same one, each week no exceptions...And whats the worst thing that can happen if you weigh.... You'll either gain or loose...either way you will know what needs to be done after ...smile be kind to yourself and go on...one day at a time...
Sunday, February 17, 2008, 9:00 PM
Definitely throw out the scale.
OP, I commend you for being so honest and brave about your current problem. I have to agree with (most of) the early posters, thought. I struggled with mild anorexia for many years, and then "fixed" my problem in the opposite direction by completely stopping exercise and stopping controlling my eating. I'm just now trying to begin developing healthy habits without sliding into the dangerous ones. For me, by far the most important thing I've done for myself this time around is to THROW OUT THE SCALE. Never weigh myself. I thought for a while that if I just weighed myself once every other week, that would provide a check without a constant stress level, but IT WAS WORSE. I would stop eating for the two days before my "deadline" weigh-in. So, I am focusing on getting to a "size 6." I refuse to associate a weight with it, I refuse to tell people what I weigh, etc.
As for motivation, this may be completely off-base, but is there any chance you can take a weekend to do some sort of crazy new sports/workouts? I was super low on motivation recently; then I took an "adventure" vacation to Belize, where I went rapelling, hiking, horseback riding, spelunking, and on ziplines. I was so proud of myself that I was in good enough shape to do it (trust me, everyone who knew me was shocked I would try this), and it was so fun, that I've been really enjoying the workouts since I got back. So maybe if possible, try to do something *really* new this weekend, like indoor rock climbing at your gym or hiking/skiing if it's not your usual. Just one alternative idea ...
Monday, February 18, 2008, 10:10 AM
For someone who has an overeating problem, though, avoiding the scale can just be a way to avoid the reality of their situation. And then they continue to gain and gain because they're afraid to face the truth. It's a form of denial that allows them to continue with their overeating. And the OP stated that she knows that facing that would get her back on track. If weighing in set off binges that would be one thing, but for many facing those numbers - no matter how scary - can be the kick in the butt we need to get back on track. No more living in denial!
Monday, February 18, 2008, 10:22 AM
A valid point, 10:22, and I don't have personal experience with bulimia. Maybe the best plan is to have a "back-up" motivation method, so that the weight doesn't become everything or the only motivation. (That's probably not ideal for any of us!) What about having a motivation plan, or fun new work-out in mind, when you weigh yourself so you'll already know when you step on the scale what you'll do to fix the number you'll see? Or do something new to motivate yourself for a week before tackling the scale, so you'll feel positive about yourself when you weigh in.
Monday, February 18, 2008, 10:40 AM
10:10 - I realized after I posted that I didn't mention that I understood where you were coming from - to the extent that I can understand it without having been there. I imagine you stepped on the scale and felt fear with those numbers, which fueled the anorexia. For me, stepping on the scale kicks me back into reality that 'Hey! I can't keep going on like this!'
I like your idea of finding different ways to motivate. I think that's good for anyone. If we can change our mindsets about why (or at least find other reasons why) to eat well and exercise - it can only help.
I wish you a healthful journey!
Monday, February 18, 2008, 11:43 AM
Yup - I can tell when I haven't been on track because I don't want to get on that scale. For me, it's the way I keep honest and it's kewl that some folks don't need to know, but I do. I may not WANT to know, but I need to know to stay on track. And let's face it, no binge is worth the great feeling of staying on track. Craziest thing though - that doesn't seem to stop me sometimes. If drugs or alcohol made me feel that good I think I'd be addicted, but nooo. So I keep an eye on things and if I find myself avoiding the scale I know I need it more than ever. Better to undo a little damage than a lot. Take a deep breath and step on - better to know the worst than keep torturing yourself with your imagination. ::hugs::
Monday, February 18, 2008, 2:32 PM
I think sometimes even if it is the hardest thing in the world to do we need to do it. Face the fear otherwise the fear is controlling you. And I know for myself one of the things that caused me to want to overeat was feeling out of control. So for your sake, be kind to yourself and step on the scale.
But like I said, be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up for whatever the number. It is not permanent. It will only be that number as long as you don't face it.
Good luck in your journey
Monday, February 18, 2008, 7:51 PM
I know how you feel. I was caught in a 4 year relationship where my ex had no desire to respect me wanting to eat healthy. ("You lookfine to me," he'd say.) He tricked me into guilt trips saying that he couldn't eat alone, if you love me you'll eat it, etc. Fast forward 40+ pounds and here I am. I knew I had gained a substantial amount of weight because none of my clothes fit and a bikini was no longer flattering. Well, I'm in the military and we have to be a certain image, which includes a healthy weight. October 2007 was my latest test. When the woman there weighed me I was aghast and in complete denial. I didn't think there was any way I could have weighed that much.
It was that slap of reality that woke me up. I, too, was afraid to weigh myself. I had a guestimate in my head, but it was way off.
So, I decided to do the whole weight watchers thing and immediately lost 8 pounds just by eating right. It was hard, because I was definitely starving! Some people eat to live while others live to eat...I live to eat. I was a binger for sure. But after attending meetings for a few weeks I was able to let go of most of my bad habits.
I've been out of my unhealthy relationship for over a year and met a wonderful guy four months ago who totally supports me and is there for me whenever the cravings kick in.
It's really hard. I don't work out as much as I should, definitely not six times a week. To help motivate myself I have a "goal outfit" that I keep handy. I weigh myself almost every day. I discuss my weight loss goals with my coworkers and they support me. I know some coworkers can be pushy by bringing in cookies, candy, cakes, etc. And to fill in the empty space of where all the unhealthy food with flavored water or a "zero points" food.
Also, they say it's better to eat about 6 small meals a day rather than 3 meals.
But everyone is different. You just need to find that inner strength and go for it. I wish you the best of luck with everything. I've lost 11 pounds simply just from watching what I eat closely. If I worked out regularly I am sure I could have lost more.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008, 2:34 PM
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