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have you ever been called a ....

Cougar? if so is that a compliment or a diss?

Tue. Feb 19, 12:50pm

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I'd say depends on who said it. Some guys like cougars. Many younger women dislike cougars.

As I'm only 26, I'm too young to be called a cougar. Though a buddy jokes I'm approaching "cub" age.

However, in my circle, a cougar is usually an older woman doing things like bleaching her hair and tanning her body in an attempt to look younger and get younger guys. I don't really respect cougars, and I've never used it as a compliment.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 1:03 PM

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Guy here...

A cougar is an older lady who is hot and sexy... If that does not offend you, take it as a compliment.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 1:13 PM

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Famous cougars include Cher and Demi Moore and Cameron Diaz. I would be HONORED to join their ranks, should I ever find myself dating a younger man.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 2:14 PM

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Cougar, MILF- I'll take 'em all!!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 2:26 PM

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Cougar has always had a negative connetation. I would hate to be called a cougar, now a milf is a different story. I have been called a milf

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 3:03 PM

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I think "cougar" is derogatory. However, I guess it's better than the male equivalent= "horny old goat".

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 4:04 PM

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4:04 you realize that abbreviated it is HOG.

funny :)

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 4:18 PM

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I think there needs to action and intent to be a 'cougar.' So, if I'm just hot, but I'm hanging out with no intent of picking up younger men, then I don't think I'm a cougar. If I'm being called a cougar, then perhaps I need to stop shopping at Forever 21 and get myself some age appropriate clothes ;)

So, I'm not sure - why is it derogatory? If someone looks and acts the part, what else are they trying to project?

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 6:29 PM

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what is milf?

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 6:31 PM

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mother i'd like to f%$^

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 6:55 PM

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6:29, while I LOVE the appropriate clothes comment, I think the derogatory comes in as personally, I would never respect a woman trying to look like a 21 year old when she is 40. And I would never be anything than what I am to pick up a guy.

You can look great for your age, but dressing like a teenager when you aren't a teenager isn't cool.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 7:05 PM

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So let me tell you all a little story about this whole "cougar" business....

Ok, so I am working on my Bachelor of Education to become a teacher, where of course i have been put at a teaching placement where i go once a week. This placement is a high school, whose mascot happens to be a "cougar."

Anyways, within the first few weeks there, they noticed i had alot of school spirit and would attend all sports events to cheer on the school. Due to this, they gave me a t-shirt which says "NACI Cougar." I was the butt of all jokes for about a week before i realized what all the drama was about. LOL. Oh goodness....

Maybe not what you were really looking for but i thought it was cute...

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 9:11 PM

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Its funny to me that women are disliking the term cougar. A cougar is an older hot woman who prefers younger men. I would be considered a cougar, I'm 40 and have been dating a 28 year old. We have a great time together and he appreciates my needs and wants and he can still have fun. I have nothing against men my age but they tend to go for the younger women, imagine that. So why is it so many women out there are offended by the term? Older men who date younger women have always been accepted, why can't it be reversed?

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 11:53 PM

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11:53 here, I should point out that I don't dress like a teenager, but dress like a normal professional in the corporate world. And I will stress that I didn't pick him up. I often have younger men hitting on me, and even though their age may seem young some of them have definitely been more mature then 40 something men I know.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 11:58 PM

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I don't think there's anything wrong with a 40 year old woman dating a 28 year old man. (I'm a 41 year old married woman) I say go for it. However, I bristle at the TERM "cougar" as I feel it's derogatory and sounds too predatory.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008, 5:30 PM

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There's probably debate about what it means, but I think it generally refers to women who are, in fact, on the prowl in search of younger men for sex. (And there is apparently a subcategory of cougars who claim to be on the prowl just for sex, but really - they want a relationship...) Either way - in those contexts the word seems to fit the intent.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008, 6:51 PM

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bump! I love them cougars!!!!!!!!

Monday, February 25, 2008, 2:13 PM

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bump!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008, 2:56 PM

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I have only ever heard the term cougar used negatively. It is definitely not for a term for a hot older woman (someone mentioned cameron diaz for example) - those people are referred to as hot women. Cougar is an insult. It's used for a woman who is obviously trying to hard to be something she's not - young. I heard the term originated with 45, 55 year old women wearing spandex leopard outfits. Esentially these women are wearing extreme "sexy" outfits that were in fashion when they were the age they still wish they were. They stand apart from regular women because they generally stand out/look ridiculous.

Another example I can think of is this woman who walks around my neighbourhood wearing tight leather pants/jacket (very grease) but she has to be at least 60 with dyed blonde and teased out hair. Of course this look is outdated. What's worse is I guess she must have taken someones advice 8 years ago or something while Britney Spears was hot or checked out the fashions or something because she also sports a belly top with a wrinkly stomach and jewled piercing!

The general consensus I've heard is pity for the cougars. While it is ageism, it is also the person's denial that so obviously fuels their dress. Accept yourself. It's sad because they're dressing only to please others, and everyone's just trying not to look.



Tuesday, May 13, 2008, 3:43 PM

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3:43 again here.

I jut want to clarify that although I somewhat defended the term by claiming these people are in denial, I meant it more as an explanation of the term than a reflection of my beliefs. Personally, I would not refer to someone that way and I think insults/naming generally immature. My mother was called a MILF while I was growing up and both her and I found it extremely uncomfortable.


Tuesday, May 13, 2008, 4:05 PM

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Big Cats

I just read an article on this subject. According to the article, Cher is actually a Jaguar - a woman who is 50, and hot. Susan Sarandon was used as an example (she's in her 60's).

I like the whole Cougar, Jaguar, Puma (women in their 30's) thing.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008, 9:19 AM

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I saw someone holding a poster that said 'cougars love David Cook' in the American Idol audience last night.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008, 11:37 AM

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I've only ever heard this used negatively, too. My 26 year old brother, who is regularly hit on/stalked by an undesireable older woman, consistently refers to her as a "cougar." He and his friends also regularly reference the "cougars" that frequent the bars they do--and they do not think these women are hot. They are mocking them.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008, 12:11 PM

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Yes, all the ladies at my last job used to call me a cougar. I had no idea what they were talking about. Never participated in their gossip sessions anyway. Once I thought maybe they were referring to the way I pounced on all the available projects left by people who quit. But then decided it couldn't be that when I realized nobody else wanted those projects anyway -- they were all lollygaggers (take a 3 day project and make it last 2 weeks so they don't have to do much work and have more time to talk on the phone with their friends, or go to lunch for an hour and a half, or come in late and leave early, etc).

But I was 12 years older than them, looked like I was their age, and was dating guys about 9-10 years younger than me. Is that what they meant by it?

Thursday, May 15, 2008, 9:34 AM

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PP--that is probably what they meant. Sounds kind of catty.

Thursday, May 15, 2008, 9:45 AM

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