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my hsuband thinks I'm fat

My husband just admitted to me today that we haven't had sex becauase he doesn't like the looks of me anymore. Should I be hurt? I feel hurt, escpecially since he is overweight and I never think such things about him.

Tue. Feb 19, 3:35pm

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I meant husband. I know how to spell, just for all of you who want to correct it!!! LOL

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 3:39 PM

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I'm sorry to hear that your husband is so hypocritical.
Have you changed your weight / body shape since you met him? Has he?

And the question is not so much "should you" feel hurt, but rather DO you feel hurt? If he loves you he would never have sid it that way.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 3:43 PM

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OP here. When we first met, I was 220 pounds. He told me to lose weight. I did, I got down to 139. He liked my body at around 140-150. Now, I'm at 188. He, too has gained about 40 pounds. But in his words, "Your a woman, you are supposed to be thin". And yes, I am hurt. But I don't know if I should be all that hurt or if I should take his words to heart and really bust by butt to get thin.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 4:02 PM

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OP here. After re-reading that it makes it sound like I dont' want to lose the weight. I really do want to. But it just makes me feel not so motivated to lose weight when someone else wants me to. I want to do it for myself.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 4:03 PM

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I agree that he should have said it in a way that would not hurt your feelings.

However I am the type of person that would prefer the truth rather than have him lie to me!

A good question is have you put on a ton of weight since you got married? Men are very visual so it may be hard for him to see you the same way he used to if this is the case. Women are not as visual so I'm sure that's part of why his weight gain doesn't affect your sex drive.

The question you should ask is: are you trying to lose weight? If so it's going to be a slow change and hopefully you are doing everything you can for YOURSELF. Don't lose weight for someone if you are comfortable and healthy the way you are. If you are unhealthy and NEED to lose weight go for it!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 4:06 PM

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