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guilt w/ social drinking
I feel guilty and try to avoid going out with my friends to bars on the weekend now that I am in weight loss mode. Before this I would go out 1-2 nights/week.
I wish I could go back to not worrying about it- but every drink I have I am totaling the calories in my head. I am not trying to lose a lot of weight (about 10 lbs lost so far and 5-10 more to go) so I know going out 1x/week won't completely ruin me - I just can't shake the guilt.
The reason this really bothers me is I have a history of eating disorders including anorexia and these thought feel VERY anorexic.
Am I being insane or is this normal?
Fri. Feb 29, 10:42am
What are you feeling guilty about? Saying 'no'? Being so aware of the calories?
Alcohol does derail efforts, especially a night that revolves around drinking, so wanting to avoid it is normal...But since you have a history of eating disorders and you can relate those feelings to your past - that is something...
Is going out without drinking an option? Hanging out with your friends, drinking water or diet soda, and being the designated driver?
Friday, February 29, 2008, 11:17 AM
Guilt with Social Drinking
I do not think it is crazy AT ALL to be thinking that much about every drink because I do the same thing. I was used to going out Fri/Sat and drinking but then the drinking turns into wanting to eat more the next day and it's just this vicious cycle. So i have limited it to just one day a week but it is hard sometimes because people want to get together sometimes on days that I have told myself I can't drink!!!!!!!
Friday, February 29, 2008, 11:18 AM
It's a hard balance for a lot of us. I found myself not being social for the first few months trying to lose weight. Then, I wanted to be social and I started going out too much. Now I go out once every week or two. It seems to be a nice medium. And I don't binge drink anymore. Just enough to make me smiley ;) Maybe you can go out no more than 1x per week and have a "slow" glass of red wine or two? That shouldn't kill your efforts and it's actually healthy for you!
Friday, February 29, 2008, 11:25 AM
Also, I'm the PP, I started getting together with my friends more during the day. Coffee, lunch, movies, walks, and it's taken our friendships to a more meaningful level.
Friday, February 29, 2008, 11:27 AM
I used to be the designated driver all the time (now live where everything is walkable, so no need for a DD), and most of the bars I'd go to would give free non-alcoholic drinks to DDs, so that was a great bonus - I could drink diet soda all night, for free, and hang with my friends, and not take in any calories or spend any money. And I still got to go out!
It depends though; my friends would go out to have a good time, maybe get a little buzzed, but not sloppy. Sloppy drunks aren't fun to be around when you're sober. So it really depends on your friends and your tolerance for drunks when you are not.
Friday, February 29, 2008, 11:29 AM
About half my friends drink and half don't, but we always love going out so going out and saying 'no' raises nary an eyebrow.
And i don't think it's odd behavior at all. What are you supposed to do - pretend there's no calories in that glass? I think of calories like money, I may spend it but only if I can afford it. I'm not obsessed by any means, but I AM mindful - there's a difference.
Friday, February 29, 2008, 11:43 AM
This is OP
The guilt is over the calories. Going out is something I really enjoyed. When I was single I would go out 2-4 times a week, in the last few months since i started dating my boyfriend it is more like 1x/week or less. Since I am going out so much less I feel like I should allow myself a night of fun when the opportunity arises. (I enjoy getting a nice buzz on - plz no comments about how I shouldn't have to drink to have a good time - it is not the only way I have fun in my life, just one of the many).
We live just a few blocks from the bars so no need for DD :) I have switched to light beer or whiskey *diets instead of coke.
I guess I should just allow for 2-4 drinks in my calories and workout a little extra the day of/day after :)
Friday, February 29, 2008, 11:47 AM
I think as long as it's not hindering your weight loss effects, have a few cocktails each week. When I know I am going out drinking, I really watch my calories the day before, the day of, and the day after. It might seem petty or obsessive, but if you don't take care of these 5 pounds, the next ones will be even harder to get off. That's the way I see it.
Friday, February 29, 2008, 12:01 PM
If you keep it to one day a week you should be fine. Just think of it as a cheat day. Try not to go to crazy. I like to stick to light beer because it's easy to count the calories. The shots and margaritas are what gets ya. I know people that drink vodka & diet coke if mixed drinks are your thing. That cuts calories as well.
Most importantly just because you have a few drinks and are aware of what you are putting into your body shouldn't make you fell guilty. You should be proud of yourself for being so conscious in your efforts. Just make sure to get right back on that horse when the fun is over.
Friday, February 29, 2008, 2:37 PM
Who says you have to drink booze when going out? I have always only had 1 drink per night then switch to diet soda or soda water and lime. If you don't advertise that you are not drinking booze, no one ever seems to notice, they just assume you are.
Saturday, March 01, 2008, 8:00 AM
I'm in the same boat. My friends like to go out and meet at bars for our gatherings so alcohol is hard to avoid. I'd just recommend that stick to vodka sodas (not tonics, they have nearly the same amount of calories as regular sodas) or a glass of white/red wine and alternate water in between. It saves both $ and calories. And avoid beer at all costs (even the light ones).
Saturday, March 01, 2008, 1:43 PM
So true 8:00am. I order club soda with lime in an on the rocks glass and everyone assumes it is an alcoholic beverage. :)
Monday, March 03, 2008, 3:18 AM
I get those of you that make it appear as though you are drinking but what if you don't want to pretend you really enjoy it!!!! It's easy to say drink pop all night but what if you enjoy having some rum in there. The question becomes where is the happy medium.
Monday, March 03, 2008, 11:01 AM
You just need to decide if the enjoyment of the rum is worth the extra calories. Just like, say, chocolate cake, or a big bowl of pasta, or whatever else. Either it's worth the extra calories to you, or it's not. There isn't a right or wrong answer; it's just a personal choice.
Monday, March 03, 2008, 11:56 AM
I've been struggling with this one too. It's hard to find that balance between hiding from life and falling off the wagon because "it's a night out" I think it's the same line of thinking that gets most of us into trouble all the lies of "it's ok I"m on vacation" I agree with others about faking the drinking or just having a couple and nursing them.
I'm going to try that this Friday when I'm out for a girls night. Another plus along with fewer calories is no hangover!
Monday, March 03, 2008, 10:15 PM
Yeah I just don't put the alcohol in my glass. But the party--that isn't fattening.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 7:02 AM
Going against the grain here...
The body burns the alcohol first and quite easily. So, if you have an empty stomach your body will not lay down hard liquor to store it. It will burn away quite quickly. Now, if you get weak because your a little tipsy and the apps at the bar start looking good, then you've got a problem.
I opt for moderation. One drink on an empty stomach, will go a long way and follow it with a club soda as mentioned previously. Oh, and I stress 80proof or higher, not beer or sugary drinks. whisky and water or vodka tonic.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 10:13 PM
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