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I went to Kickboxing and Yoga for the first time last night ( :( story)

I was really proud of myself for trying and giving it my all. I am very overweight and in my prime I LOVED kickboxing and yoga and I want to get back to that level of fitness. Well, during the 5 minute break between classes I was looking a round and smiling and overheard (and saw) the woman about 3 or 4 people away look at her friend and point at me saying "I would kill myself if I ever looked like her." Her friend laughed and said "Yeah did you see her trying so hard... it was so sad."

I went through 40 minutes of the hour long yoga class before leaving early. I really let it get to me, and I know I shouldn't have, but I wasn't embarrassed to be the fattest girls in the room until they literally pointed and laughed at me :(


Tue. Mar 4, 1:05pm

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See...I would have then said.."I know isn't it just sad". Just to make them feel uncomfortable .... F*ck those people (sorry for the bad language). People like that deserve to be hit by a bus!

You know what. I say more power to you. I love seeing people going to the gym and actually giving it! That's why you're there...to work out. Just keep on working hard and stay focused! One day karma will come right back and bite them in the a*s!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 1:12 PM

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Those people don't matter. Keep focused on doing good things for yourself. It's not about them, it's about you and your health and happiness. You do not need their approval. You are strong! Let it roll right off your back.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 1:13 PM

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You should say something to the management or the class instructor. Those b*tches should not be allowed in group classes. I belong to a YMCA where they are very responsive to anyone who makes another member feel uncomfortable.

What does bother me is two 100+ lb. overweight people sitting on the stationary bikes not even pedalling, just watching the built in TV, and then later sitting on the couch reading magazines. Give me a break.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 1:30 PM

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Just Remember...

Those people are not the majority, those two ladies are insicure and the rest of the class does NOT feel that way.

I attend classes a few times a week and I am a pretty fit person. When i see overweight people come to class i want to go over and congratulate them because i think one of the hardest things you can do is show up (i dont do that by the way, i think it might be awkward). But I think it is awesome to see overweight people at the gym. DO NOT GET DISCOURAGED!!! You should feel sorry for those ladies because they will probably always be that insicure. You on the other hand, should keep on going to those classes, because you can always improve your health.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 1:48 PM

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So sorry you felt bad and uncomfortable (been there too...it is really horrible). Is there anything we can do here as part of your community to help you go back to class?

It is great to go to things you know you enjoy as a way of engaging in life again. Do you have any really great supportive flesh and blood friends who can go to class with you? That helps sometimes. One of my biggest supporters was a highly fit super athlete, so don't count people like that out. She basically blew EVERYONE out of the water.

You can check in here too after you go back.

I would say something to the management too if the bad behavior continues. It is bigotry and not in the best interest interest of the gym to have folks like that around. If they did it to you, you can bet they have done it to others.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 1:50 PM

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"I would kill myself if I ever sounded as snarky and petty as you."

(would be my response)

I am normally all in favor of handling these folks myself or ignoring them, but look how they ruined your class and consider that you are not the first person that they've probably done this to. And considering the way they sounded if it wasn't you or your weight, it would have been someone's unflattering hairdo, bad skin, whatever (people don't limit themselves). Talk to the instructor both for your own sake and that of other girls who would like a positive exercise experience. They are creating a hostile environment, it's not ok, and no instructor should allow that to continue.

And happy exercising! Don't let them get you down (although they would have gotten me down) - but keep on going! Living well is the best revenge, so live well. :-)

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 1:59 PM

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for the OP

honey i'm SO SORRY you experienced that. some people might look decent on the outside but be DISGUSTING on the inside. I bet you aren't even that overweight or how could you do all that? Do you mind me asking what is your height and weight? Lets try to put it in perspective.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 2:23 PM

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I agree that maybe you should talk to the management...it is a form of harassment. They may be able to help....I bet if they've done it to you, they've done it to other people too. Sometimes they have a suggestion box if you feel uncomfortable doing this...if you know their names (which often doesn't happen), you could always do it that way too.

Good luck, and get back to the course.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 3:03 PM

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OP here

I am currently 5'7" AND 270lbs. I know I am over weight, I am not in denile. I don't wear anything reveling and I try to "tie the girls down"... I have just never actually heard people mocking me. It took me right out of my good mood. I am trying so hard to get back in shape, so i will be going back, I just now feel self conscience about it.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 4:36 PM

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When I was over 210 lbs and slogging my guts out in a hard class for the first time, I actually had the very skinny, fit classmates AND the instructor compliment me on keeping up (even much smaller and fitter, I can still say honestly that it was a hard-ass class, much like kickboxing). They even said that they hoped I'd become a regular in the class. I never in a million years would have expected such a supportive experience.

The tide really is changing about how regular-size folks treat us bigger ones, especially when they see us trying to do something about it. I live in a city, where even the super-insecure have better things to focus on than someone else's chub. Your experience calls to mind the upper-middle 'burbs I grew up in, and it says more about the petty bitches than it does about you.

Keep going to class.
Mentally rehearse how you want to respond in situations like that. I suggest "owning it", it totally diffuses the situation and puts them in their place.
Do not let this make one iota of difference in your behavior or else they win.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 5:14 PM

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I commend you for staying for the yoga class. I have experienced this as well. I think that it's something alot of people have gone through. Unfortunately there are so many insecure people in the world. It's actually very sad when you think about the fact that these women have to talk about someone else to make themselves feel good.
The truth of the matter is that they don't even know you. You are a much better person than they are. You are making efforts to better yourself and they are not. You keep going to those classes with you head held high. My guess is that they probably have never had to struggle with any weight issues and will drop off the radar long before you do. Keep it up! You are worth it.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 5:29 PM

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You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. - Buddha

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 5:32 PM

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I also agree you should say something to management. Gyms should be welcoming for all.

I hope you go back. But whatever you choose to do, just be consistent. That's what gets results. Good luck!!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 5:32 PM

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Sorry that you had to go through that. It amazes me that people are so ignorant as to even think something like that let alone say it. When I see overweight people at the gym, I am secretly cheering them on, because they have taken one of the biggest steps towards taking care of their health.
I know it is hard not to let it get to you, but just focus on how good the classes made you feel, it is not often you find a workout that you really enjoy.
All I have to say, is Karma will come back to bite them on the ass.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 5:53 PM

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Think of all your friends on PT when you go back to that class! We are all behind you! They are just a tiny little speed bump on your journey. Once you face this challenge, you will know you can handle the next!

PS If I were in that class, I'd beat them up for you, OP! Where do you live?

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 9:18 PM

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You should go back to the class and walk right up to them and ask them if next time they say rude things about someone could they please keep their voices down. Say it with a big smile and be very gracious. Then turn around and walk away. I bet they will think twice before they speak next time.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008, 11:10 PM

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WTF??????????????????

I cannot believe that people are so inconsiderate, I don't know what I would have done. I am so glad that you are not letting those comments discourage you. They don't know you, what you're going through, and it isn't any of their business! The fact that you are taking the steps to get yourself into shape is AWESOME! I am very overweight myself I am sensitive about it. I know that I did this to myself and I am doing something to change that. I don't need people to tell me how fat I am because I see my fat ass everyday. Those bitches aren't perfect, all women have body issues because no one is perfect. I am sorry for the long post, but those comments pissed me off. I hope that you reach every goal that you are working toward and use them for energy. My theme song for the year is "HATE ON ME" by Jill Scott. Give it a listen and I wish you all the best. :)

BTW, I have lost 23lbs. in 2 and 1/2 months. YOU CAN DO THIS! :)

Wednesday, March 05, 2008, 4:15 AM

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next time you're in class with them and the class is almost done, you should go up to one of them and tell them it looks like they peed their pants and you just wanted them to know that it's pretty visable. they'll be so embarrassed, they'll run out of there to check. and you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you zinged them!

Wednesday, March 05, 2008, 9:04 AM

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I like what 11:10 said. I think it would be good to say something snarky back to them, just for the satisfaction, plus they will maybe see how petty and rude they are. Bottom line though "F" them - and also i bet when you get to a weight you want you will be gorgous and they will still be UGLY. If you are ugly on the inside it always comes through. Keep going girl - you are doing the right thing!

Wednesday, March 05, 2008, 9:47 AM

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OP= you sound alot like myself. I say go back and show those dumb idiots what you got!! If they make another comment like that just walk up to them with a big smile and say "well, if I were as concieted and ugly inside like you unfortunate souls, then I would have to kill myself, but I'm not, so I guess I get to continue living a happy life while you live such a sad and deprived one."

To the 148 pm poster= if you see someone busting it out hard, go on up and compliment them!! I remember a few weeks ago I really struggled on this gazelle machine thing and it took all I had to keep going. Afterwords, this lady just walked up and said I did an awesome job and after some discussion she told me to keep going because she believes in me. Man, I felt GREAT after that comment!!! It definately made my day. So don't be afraid, a compliment can bring a smile to someone, especially if they are having a tough time.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008, 11:53 AM

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YOu know, I am going to go against the grain here. SOrry, but my suggestion is to just ignore them. Go back, do your BEST and that will be enough. if it gets really bad you should talk to the management, but honestly I don't think you should stoop to their level. If you say something snarky back, then you are just being like them. Don't be ugly - you can do this - keep going and show them what you are made of.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008, 10:18 PM

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I'm also with 10:18. My personal style would be to go back and ignore them. If you hear them make comments again or catch them disrespecting you, wait until after class, approach one or more of them, and quietly and calmly say "I'm trying something really difficult for me right now. Please respect that and my privacy. Thanks." Then walk away. I think the calm approach will really make her feel more guilty and give you the upper hand. (Plus, to be completely honest, I have a fear that people stereotype me as rude and loud just because I'm fat, and I wouldn't want to play into that.)

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 11:27 AM

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There is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. You don't have to be rude or nasty. Standing up for yourself is not stooping to there level. It's actually the opposite. Just to let them know that you heard them. Maybe it will make them think before they speak. It could also spare someone else from having to go through the same thing.

Thursday, March 06, 2008, 11:59 AM

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