Help! I don't want to go to my friends wedding

Yes, I know it's not about me but I don't want to go. I don't want to see all these people I used to know. I wasn't invited with a date. I really don't want to go but it's a good friend from college. Will I ruin the friendship forever if I don't go?

Tue. Mar 11, 12:46pm

Depends on (a) how big a wedding it is, and (b) whether she asked you to be IN the wedding. If she's asked you to be in it, you need to go and help her out. If not, well, I've been to a few weddings so large that I doubt the bride even noticed who was and wasn't there.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008, 1:42 PM

Why not?

Are you a little sad that it is not you getting married? Have you gained alot of weght and you do not want your old friends to see you?

What if the shoe was on the other foot; how would you feel if your "friend" did not come to your wedding?

You never know, you could end up meeting the love of your life there.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008, 2:26 PM

I doubt you'll ruin the friendship forever, but you may need to put more effort into it.

A couple girls I used to work with didn't come to my wedding b/c I didn't invite them "plus guest." One got a serious boyfriend between when the invites went to the calligrapher and when the wedding was, but the extra person (whom I didn't know) wasn't invited.

I've seen both of them once since then, at a mutual friend's party. That was over a year and a half ago. That means, to me, that they didn't really want to be friends anyway.

If they had just said "no, I can't come," and a month after the wedding had said "let's go get dinner, coffee, a movie, whatever," we'd still be friends.

So, no, you won't ruin the friendship, but just be sure to actively work on the friendship afterwards.

If you don't like the people who will be at the wedding, and it's a fairly big wedding, then don't go; it's not worth the stress, etc. And the bride will probably only get to spend 5-10 minutes with you all night anyway. I'm sure she'd rather spend time with you than her new husband's great-aunt-twice-removed, but, she's probably not going to get that choice!!

If the friendship is important to you, send a nice present, RSVP "no" on time, and make plans to get together after the wedding/honeymoon havoc is over.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008, 3:24 PM

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