One of my students committed suicide today.

I don't know why I am telling you all this, but I am sad and frustrated and upset and I feel like I have to be everyone else's rock or comfort. I have been keeping myself busy and trying to avoid the subject but because of my closeness to the situation, I am deeply affected. I teach a self-contained class and he was one of my caseload. I talked with him daily, joked with him, was friends (as much as I could be) with him. Yesterday was fine, he was happy and productive. I don't understand what happened. I am a fairly new teacher and this is the first time anything like this has happened.

Tue. Mar 11, 3:12pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure that everone involved with him will be affected for a long time.
I have been suicidal before many times and just to let you know, most people who are, are very good at hiding how they feel.
I wish he would have reached out rather than doing something so final.
I hope that you can find what you need, the support and comfort to make it through this without it scaring you.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008, 3:24 PM

I am so sorry to hear that. I'm a social worker, and have been in your shoes - it hurts and it sucks. Try to find comfort in accepting your feelings about this loss. Find comfort in others, perform random acts of kindness, and you will heal.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008, 4:15 PM

My absolute sympathy...I had a kid who was a patient (long term) who died in an auto accident a number of years ago....bad teen driving. I know it was an entirely different situation but my heart ached for this kid and her family (knew the siblings and the mom too) for a long time.

This child's death caused the driving laws in Massachusetts to be changed. Her mom went to bat and mobilized lots of people to bring about some major changes.

You need to take care of yourself for the next few weeks...and help the other kids who were close to your student. But his death begs the question...what will help make a difference for kids who are hurting? What will make a difference for all of you who knew him too? Maybe it is a wonderful opportunity for your community to mobilize around teenage depression.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008, 8:02 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have friendsips with people that have been suicidal.. I agree with the poster that says they hide thier feelings well.

grieve, but dont let it stop you from reaching out to your other students. you can make a difference in someone elses life.. Im sure you friendship reacjed him, but other things were causing too much pain for him to bare.

it has nothing to do with what you did or didnt do. you were there.. he knew that. so take your time and grieve for him.. Im sure he will be missed by all.

I commend you for caring so much and I am sure you will have a big impact on your other students,.

concentrate on them now.. the ones that its not to late to reach out to.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008, 8:58 PM

I'm so sorry. Do you have a therapist/counselor also that you can talk to? I can't imagine what you must be going through.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008, 9:08 PM

I just would like to say thank you for being a teacher and especially to such incredible children, I wish you peace and will say a prayer for you and the boy.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008, 10:32 PM

I am so sorry to hear this. I have an online friend struggling with suicidal thoughts as we speak. I hate to bring this up but I know this person is in school but I don't know where he lives. Your student's name wasn't Robert, was it?

Wednesday, March 12, 2008, 1:48 AM

I am so glad that you were able to share this with us, I hope you can find some support through this network because you should not have to experience this alone. This is a tragic occurence but you have most certainly helped more people by doing the work you do then you may know. I applaud and admire your strenghth

Wednesday, March 12, 2008, 2:05 AM

OP Here

No, his name was Jesse. I am finding out more as the time goes on. This was premeditated and thorough. He had snuck a gun from his parents cabniet under the guise of needing something else days before, and hid it. This planning was the result of him being so happy and "normal" on Monday, he had an exit plan, he knew his pain was going to end. There were clues, but they were hidden by his happiness, which everyone thought was him getting better. I am still devestated by his choice and today is still another hard day for everyone. Thank you all for your kind words and prayers.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008, 1:44 PM

This is 148AM. I'm so sorry. It's such a shame that he felt he needed to take his own life. I, too, am glad that you shared this. It's important to find a community to help you through this painful time. Thank you for letting me know his name.

Below I've listed a fabulous website for anyone experiencing depression. It helped me beat severe depression. I'm happy to say that I've been depression free for 6 years now thanks to this website. I know this doesn't help Jesse, but maybe we can prevent this from happening to any more of our loved ones.

http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/Treating_Depression/alt_treat.htm

Wednesday, March 12, 2008, 4:04 PM

I was reading a thread from a medical listserve, and one of the docs had a feeling that he was seeing an uptick of teen suicides coming through his ER. He was wondering if it was a local phenomenon, or more widespread. A bunch of people from all over the country had noticed an increase, and were concerned. I wonder if Jesse is related to what some people think may be a national trend. Maybe you could give your grief an outlet by reaching out to other caregivers in the community to see if they have noticed a trend, and maybe your community could try to help those who might be influenced by the news of poor Jesse. The other listserv said that copycatting seems to be playing a part in the trend. Good luck, and my condolences to you and his classmates to the loss of your student and to his family.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008, 5:15 PM

My heart goes out to you and Jesse's family! I am also a teacher and although I teach Kindergarten I know heartache is never far for us. These students become like our surrogate children. Please take time and help to work through your feelings before plunging yourself back into the classroom, if at all possible.
Big hug-
CJ

Wednesday, March 12, 2008, 5:24 PM

I don't think it wasn't okay to share his name. It isn't like OP gave ALL of his information, OP just gave his first name.

OP I am so sorry for your loss, it is hard and I am sure you feel confused and sad. Remember as you greive it is okay to feel that way, and it is okay if you don't. Everyone greives differently.

Thursday, March 13, 2008, 2:40 AM

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