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what do you and your husband fight about?

We've been fighting more than usual lately and I'd like to "compare" it to other marriages out there to just see. How do you stop the fighting cycle?

Thu. Mar 13, 4:54pm

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I hate to say it, but my husband and I never fight, and before someone jumps all over me and says that is impossible, that one of us must be compromising or stifling the anger, we are not. Now if we have a difference of opinions we talk about it and reach an agreement. We both have been in very volatile past relationships and have come to understand that soemtimes what you used to get upset about was completely stupid.
Our perspecive is that is this point really worth upseting the one you love?

Thursday, March 13, 2008, 5:01 PM

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my husband and i don't fight either. we talk all the time, constant communication. if there's something that annoys us or we disagree on, we talk about it before it can turn into a ridiculous argument. we frequently take 4 hour drives home to our hometown to visit our families and we rarely turn on the radio, we talk the whole time about everything. it's all about communicating. in the 8.5 years we've been married, i can't think of one fight we've had.

Thursday, March 13, 2008, 5:06 PM

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We fight about:

1) when he speaks to me in a short or impatient way.
2) I am ashamed to admit, I get jealous. He was very flirty when we started dating, he isn't now, but women still throw themselves at him! I get annoyed with him. I know, not totally rational......

Thursday, March 13, 2008, 5:19 PM

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try the book Love and Respect it is awesome, my wife and I are using it in a small group...
basically it says that women more want to feel and be shown love from their spouse and husbands more want to feel respected, but that is not natural for the other to show since they are a different gender, so you have to work at it
My wife and I fight when I am not being loving and or she is not being respectful, definitely true...

Thursday, March 13, 2008, 5:24 PM

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We rarely (if ever) fight either. Been together for 7 years now and I can't believe how easy the years have been. We talk all the time, have lunch every day, eat dinner together and date night once a week. We just communicate really well - which means both knowing what and how much to say and when to just listen. We are both problem-solvers too which I think helps. If we don't agree - it's not a personal attack, it's because there's a difference in priorities, understanding, etc. He is always putting my needs first and vice versa - we really try to be considerate of the other in all things. We don't take out our frustrations of the day on each other, and we also make sure we cuddle and keep things going in the bedroom even if we are so busy we have to put it on the calendar. I think these things help a lot.

Thursday, March 13, 2008, 6:05 PM

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My husband and I usually fight about really stupid things that get blown out of proportion. However they don't last long and while they are sometimes loud, they aren't abusive at all. We laugh right after usually when we realize we're both being ridiculous. We're both pretty impatient and somewhat volitile. =)

For example: he usually makes dinner and I help him by chopping veggies, cleaning up after him, doing dishes as we go, etc. Last night I was cooking and he went into the living room to play video games. So I said: aren't you going to help me like I help you? That turned into a fight about who does what around the house and who thanks who for doing what!!! It was about 5 minutes long and that was it, we laughed and kissed and made up immediately.

So no big deal really. Sometimes we bicker about money but it's usually just a miscommunication or something. We've been together 5 years

Thursday, March 13, 2008, 6:12 PM

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My wife is sensitive and hot tempered but I tend to be rational and cold, so that is why we fight hard sometimes, I don't show that I care and she flips out about something I see as small. Sounds inaccurate, but she does start every fight, but I guess I cause it? At least I tend to finish them well...

Who are these perfect people who never fight?? Do you have no stress, no money problems, no lack of sleep, no kids, and both have perfect personalities or are you just lucky to be and have found someone who is even-tempered?

Thursday, March 13, 2008, 6:24 PM

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Seriously, I wnt to know who these people are too who don't fight. Bpno stress? Or is there no passion? Or am I the clueless one, and there is such a thing as lots of stress and a marriage with no fights.

Thursday, March 13, 2008, 8:02 PM

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yeah, the people who don't fight- they are just weird. Like the kind of people who listen to Michael Bolton without a trace of irony.

Thursday, March 13, 2008, 8:02 PM

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My husband and I don't really fight, but we stop speaking to one another. Sometimes it can last for days! It doesn't happen very often, and much less so than in our first years of marriage, but it was emotionally draining to be so stubborn in our stand-offs. Now that we have kids, we are forced out of our silences when they occur just because we have to communicate to be a family. However, to answer your original question, what we fight about is usually a difference of opinion that gets heated. I find this time of year is always testy for us because we're tired, Vitamin D deficient, and work is more stressful. Usually once spring arrives, things are less "touchy". My husband is allergic to conflict, and I'd rather hash things out, so that's usually what starts the silent treatment we resort to on occasion.

Thursday, March 13, 2008, 8:19 PM

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