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i dont know what to do

my bf and i of 5 yrs are having a big ole fight. i just moved into a house with new carpet, and he refuses to take off his dirty boots on my carpet when he comes from lunch ( we dont not live together, he lives out in the country with his parents, and works in town) i told him i would take his key away if he didnt because he is ruining the carpet, he wipes his boots off on the rug but it doenst get them clean. and then go goes on to say then maybe he wont be my bf if that's how i feel. am i overreacting about the carpet or justified.

Tue. Mar 25, 7:36pm

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Is there some middle ground here? Could he agree to take his boots off in the foyer or at the door and you could agree to have something for him to change into if he doesn't want to be in socks or barefoot?
If you guys have been together 5 years there has to have been some compromising along the way. I can't imagine a new carpet would be the deal-breaker!
Or maybe he does want to live with you, or some other issue? Dirty boots on a new carpet hardly seems like a reason to break up. And the fact that he threatened that is weird. Has he mentioned wanting to break up before?
Good luck, no one knows what to do or what's going on more than you do, so take all advice with a grain of salt!
Best,
CJ

Tuesday, March 25, 2008, 7:44 PM

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i offered to buy over shoes he could put over his boots , but he says he wont do it. i think its more that he doenst like me telling him something his has to do.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008, 7:54 PM

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"i told him i would take his key away... then maybe he wont be my bf if that's how i feel."

If it's your house, and he's living with parents, you absolutely have every right to take your key back/not allow him to have a key, it is YOUR house.

Basically, your boyfriend is saying if you don't let him abuse your stuff, he won't stick around. Either he doesn't mean it and he's just being a jerk, or he really is an ass, and 5 year or not, you should drop him. (I'd never put up with that sh*t from my bf)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008, 10:03 PM

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You're not overreacting. You've asked him to respect your home and your rules and he adamantly refuses. Why is that? That's the question to ask him. And threatening to break up wi th you (after 5 years no less) - that's manipulative and that ain't cool.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008, 11:06 PM

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I agree. Thats just plain ignorant that he wont take his shoes off if they are dirtying your rugs. Why not?!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008, 11:27 PM

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please

come on, I mean really, really...

Tuesday, March 25, 2008, 11:51 PM

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Is this a fake post??
So many "I don't know what to do about my lousy boyfriend" threads lately to take something like this even the tiniest bit seriously.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008, 12:06 AM

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time for a tour

of an ICU or oncology unit. Time for the old reality check

Wednesday, March 26, 2008, 12:27 AM

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Here here!!

DUMP HIM HE'S A BABY. Anyone that would threaten to break up with you because you ask him to take his muddy boots off is a child. Adults don't act this way, and an adult would have responded to that threat with a "Well then don't let the door hit you in the ass!" Stop wasting your time on a man child who lives with mommy and daddy and get serious about your life!!! If he doesn't like being told what to do on little issues, imagine what he'll be like on the big ones. And I'm doubting that he's just like this all of a sudden...five years together means he's probably pulling this crap all along and you're just getting fed up with it. And if this is new, then he's looking to pick a fight so he can dump you and make it your fault. Seriously, if you're together enough to buy a house on your own and he can't even manage to pay rent on his own place, you are head and shoulders too good for him. Stop asking about it here and go with your gut...drop him like a bad habit. mb

Wednesday, March 26, 2008, 8:52 AM

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One really has to wonder how this boy's parents raised him. My bf grew up on a farm and believes wearing outdoor shoes in the house to be a filthy habit!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008, 10:18 AM

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