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SABOTAGED ! !

So I have this three month Biggest Loser contest at my office and so far I am winning...

*BUT*

I really appreciate my wife's cooking/baking but this weeekend she really pulled out all the stops:
Saturday morning she insisted we go out to a breakfast place for "breakfast food" since we have been so stressed...
Sunday morning she made her incredible handmade giant Cinnabuns for a church event
Sunday night she had catered Buona Beef sandwiches, pasta, chicken...
and she made her astonishingly decadent four layer key lime cheesecake
I really do have incredible willpower but these are just kryptonite to me!Everything that I cannot resist !

I totally lost it and ate three Cinnabons, two pieces of cheesecake and just tons of food this weekend and gained five pounds!

If I lose the bet I am going to be so mad - what do I do in a situation like that - she KNOWS about the contest ! !


Mon. Apr 21, 10:40am

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You guys need to be on the same page. You certainly have willpower but like you said..this is sabatoge. Ask her to help you, suggest menus.

Have you asked why she went all out on the calorie front this weekend knowing how hard ou are working?

Monday, April 21, 2008, 10:51 AM

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is she trying to lose weight as well? has she been following the same diet as you? maybe she was having a "moment of weakness" and needed your support to get through it. or...
if you really feel as though she was sabotaging you, then you need to talk to her about it and get on the same page. suggesting menus is a great idea pp or maybe take the initiative and make a few meals for her - let her see how good something healthy for you can taste.

Monday, April 21, 2008, 11:01 AM

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hosting social events

well, to answer your questions...
I work out and eat really healthy and my wife never works out, but eats pretty healthy, she is not very overweight - just a bit...
She just loves social events and her cooking and baking is a real skill that she loves to show off and share - usually I can indulge in moderation but not with his top level of deliciousness when I am so hungry from all my working out and good eating (I have lost over thirty pounds in the last six months)...
I feel like she is not on my team here but also that it is just bad timing - I just don't know how to deal with a weekend like that ! ! GRRR.

-OP

Monday, April 21, 2008, 11:17 AM

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Well - my SO doesn't bake, but he has been an athlete all his life and doesn't have to watch what he eats at all. For the most part he prefers healthy food and we have few issues, but from time-to-time we do have the situation arise where he brings home something decadent, there's lots of it, and I can't indulge. I do think it's unreasonable for him not to be able to indulge if he can, and the first few times it really threw me off. After that we established some ground rules.

1. Don't offer me any. Put it away and don't ask if I'd like some. This is not rude and I'll thank him later even if I'm looking at it longingly.
2. Put it away where I can't reach it. If I have to dig out the step stool to get to a treat I generally think twice and don't go for it.
3. If I do decide I can afford to indulge, I take a small piece and put the rest back in its inacessible place.
4. If I'm really having issues controlling my urge to eat the treat - I ask and he hides it from me. It's just better that way.
5. The exception is that I can ask him to take a slightly bigger serving and I can have 3 small bites, which is enough for me to appreciate it and savor the flavors, but not enough to really do major damage. I can only do this once.

Now - I do understand where you wife is coming from. I adore entertaining and cooking for a crowd so I appreciate your wife's cooking prowess and her need to be social. However part of living healthy is learning to reconcile your new lifestyle choices with your current activities. I'm considered to be quite the chef myself, but I've put those skills to good use coming up with gormet healthy recipes that don't taste 'diet' (including some great desserts). Perhaps the two of you could do some brainstorming?

Regardless you need to let her know how it makes you feel when she does this and have her help you keep on the path. To be fair you are an adult with free will and don't have to partake, but she has to know that you hold her cooking in high regard and that even though she may be able to be pround of shaking your resolve, that it's not very nice. Sabotage is something we all have to learn to deal with though - next time it might not be her, so some strategies for dealing with it are definitely helpful, but it's nice to not have to deal with it in your own home.

Monday, April 21, 2008, 12:05 PM

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I can see that it's really annoying to live with someone who is dieting... so compromise. If you go out for breakfast on Saturday, there needs to be healthy food on Sunday.

It sounds like your wife is a really good cook... look at lf recipe books together. Maybe buy one or two fancy ones with pictures and then go through them together, cook together, etc.

Monday, April 21, 2008, 2:20 PM

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I just don't know how to deal with a weekend like that ! !

Ahh, if this is an additional issue, it's something that many here can speak to. Just put the weekend behind you and get back in the saddle this morning. One slip-up doesn't guarantee failure; just take it one meal at a time and you will be back on the road to success before you know it.

Re binge eating: If your wife is going to make cinnamon buns, have her cut a quarter of one for you, served on a small plate, at the table. Then she needs to put the rest away where you can't see them, and air out the scent in the house. If you can't see 'em or smell 'em they are less of a temptation, and if you eat at the table instead of at the TV or walking around, you can focus on the good stuff..

Monday, April 21, 2008, 2:30 PM

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Agree with the pp - today is a new day! What's done is done. And, unless you ate 15000 EXTRA calories, you didn't really gain 5 pounds. Get back in the game today and I'll be you can still pull out a big win for your BL contest :)

As far as dealing with sabotage in general:

Maybe suggest doing things other than eating to deal with stress.

Buy bakery type containers at a craft store like Michael's. Then when she cooks or bakes, she can box up left overs and share her delicious creations with neighbors and friends. It still allows her a cooking outlet, but it gets the extras out of the house.

Have her send a favorite recipe to Cooking Light for a makeover :)

Congrats on your weight-loss, OP. One bad weekend is but a blip! Move on!

Monday, April 21, 2008, 3:43 PM

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remember this

it all comes down to you. YOUR choices to eat what she makes.. granted she does not make it easier. we ALL have temptation and its the ones who take responsilibity for themselves that are successful. she doesn't open you mouth and put the food in there does she??? NO - YOU DO.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008, 9:57 AM

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I hear you 9:57 and you are right,

...but don't you have like a few things that are your absolute favorites that you just CANNOT resist - I mean like free all you can eat deep dish pizza with you fovorite toppings from your favorite place on the planet, the one ice cream brand and flavor that you love the best in the world, your mom's famous homemade chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven - something ? ?

That is how I feel when my wife cooks / bakes at her best ;)

Tuesday, April 22, 2008, 10:12 AM

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9.57 here

yes, I hear you... its hard for me to resist my fav things... sometimes I allow myself a little, or a little more of a splurge.. or I decide I can't start because I know I can't stop.

but I wanted to tell you that message because its what helps me get through tough times... i just try to remember that no matter what others do, I am still in control of myself. it empowers me.

i didnt want to sound like I'm perfect or question your willpower, I just wanted you to perhaps use this as an argument to yourself in those hard decsions.

good luck!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008, 6:09 AM

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Thanks - I DO appreciate it ;)

-OP

Wednesday, April 23, 2008, 11:23 AM

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UPDATE

...well, I wanted to give you an update. I had a good conversation with my wife about the bet and the food and everything and she really was listening, so she has been more supportive now. She didn't give me a hard time about not eating too much for dinner last night because we were going out later, when we were out we split an appetizer and I let her eat most of it with no comments and after we got home she was having some homemade brownies that she made the night before for work and she didn't even offer me one, because, "You are not interested" - so I had about a 1/4 just to show her that I appreciate her baking...

I am really glad that you guys gave me a little kick in the pants there, now my wife is on my side in this thing...well... mostly :)

Thursday, April 24, 2008, 10:39 AM

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