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Single, fat, divorced and alone

I am in my thirties. I am a single mom. I have been divorced almost three years (anniversary month this month) I have not dated too much because of my weight. I find myself really frustrated because I feel like no matter what I see out there many, many people out there have someone but me. They might be tall, short, fat, ugly, beautiful, plain, goth, homely, or whatever their particular personality/looks/"person" they are... they have someone. I am like "Okay, they are with someone, why not me? Why can't I find someone?" Here I am walking around, well educated, fairly attractive, good job, some extra weight but dramatcially improving and I still feel like there must be some be a reason... I must be a troll and dont realize it. I must really have a bad personality and dont realize it. I know I sound negative right now, but just really have had a bad week and am frustrated. I am really not that bad. I mean, I feel like there is some blaring sign above me that says "DONT DATE ME" "DONT ASK ME OUT" or something to that effect. I am so frustrated. Has anyone ever felt like this?

Thu. May 1, 11:12pm

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Has anyone ever NOT felt like this at some time?

Hey, you just haven't met the right person (or people, you should date around a bit) yet. And dating is a numbers game. You have to meet a lot of people before you find one to date. So I'd suggest trying things like speed-dating, meeting people on Match.com or other Internet sites, etc. People have to see you and talk to you to know how cool you are!

Thursday, May 01, 2008, 11:19 PM

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Sorry for your bad week... but it's really true that "when you're not looking, you will find someone." That's what happened to me!

But, if you really don't like that idea, what have you done to find somebody? Are you getting out, joining groups or finding new hobbies, finding singles online? Maybe you are not meeting anyone to date because you are not putting yourself out there.

You will find a new man, someone you are meant to be with... don't be so hard on yourself and don't give up!

Thursday, May 01, 2008, 11:19 PM

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I'm sorry you're so frustrated. I'm sure it doesn't help that this is your anniversary month.

Agree that you've got to put yourself out there. You can also refocus on just yourself, which is probably hard as a single mom. Reinvent yourself, your fabulous self so then the title of your next post isn't Single, Fat, Divorced, and Alone (think what kind of vibe that puts out), it will be Single, Fabulous, & Doing Just Fine, Thank You, which is followed by ..oh wait, hi, nice to meet you...what? You can't believe I'm single? (this is you meeting someone fabulous when you least expect it ;) )

Friday, May 02, 2008, 12:56 AM

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Oh my...not sure what's showing now, but the "relevant ad" next to this thread right now is for www.BBWRomance.com. Thanks, Google, for making me giggle.

Friday, May 02, 2008, 1:04 AM

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Its what you are putting out there. If you show yourself to be confident it doesn't matter how heavy you are, people wll be attracted to you. I think you have to work on your mind as well as your body, because as much as you want to be dating again, it doesn't sound like your heart and head is 100% into it.
Relax - get a makeover, and focus on yourself, it will come
.

Friday, May 02, 2008, 7:53 AM

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