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Obsession with weight
Hi. I want to preface this with saying that I know I am not overweight. So please don't get angry with me for not being overweight and still worried about my weight - know what I mean? Some people get mad at me when I tell them this.
I am 5'5", 120-125 pounds.
My obsession is that I am terrified of gaining weight. I have lost a pretty good amount of weight, had children, and maintained the weight loss through that. I also work out a lot and eat right most of the time.
So - the weird thing is that I am worried that if I stop obsessing, I will gain and then hate myself for it. Does that make sense? I don't know what anyone can say that will make things better, but I just wanted to share. It is truly very tiring to think about all the time.
I guess if I ate perfectly and worked out more, I would not be obsessed. The thing is that I KNOW I could eat better and work out more - but I have a life and am not perfect.
So I need to find that happy medium - to be happy with myself even if I gain a couple of pounds here and there.
Thanks for listening...
Tue. Feb 7, 5:04pm
I have the same fear. Unfortunately, I don't know how to get rid of it either. I did lose weight at one time, and have kept it off, but I am in constant fear of putting it back on, and I am not overweight now. I obsess about it, and wish I could stop, but I also am afraid that if I do stop, I will gain weight again.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006, 5:23 PM
I have the same problem. I'm not overweight either...atleast not by anyone elses standards. You are not alone... I think about weight constantly... if you wanna talk more and help each other out, let me know.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006, 5:30 PM
I'm there too. It's just so annoying watching some other people around you eat whatever they want, and not gain. Can you imagine going to a restaurant and looking at the menu, and the only consideration being what you actually think sounds the best?! I soooo wish I could be like that! But, on the other hand, I know I'd be soooo fat if I did that! Ick!!
Tuesday, February 07, 2006, 6:02 PM
yup same here
hey i kno exactly what you mean. While you don't want your life to revolve around your weight, it's sometimes the only way to manage it. I used to be weight-obsessed. And for that time, I was able to maintain a pretty good weight. However, when I stopped obsessing, and gave in to food, i began gaining a tremendous amount. IT's so hard to find the right balance. TO be weight-conscious but not obsessed.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006, 6:11 PM
i am there to i was 150 and i am now 125 I am so obsessed with staying there people comment about how I am. Why are you such a nut about what you eat, if i had your figure i would eat whatever i want, but the thing is if you wanted my figure you could not even do that. The only reason i got this far is because of being a nut about it. I guess i need some advice to i work out constantly and watch what I eat like a hawk, but i am obsessed about gaining it back. i am definetely going to watch this thread nice post. If you want to talk write me back- Cristina2
Tuesday, February 07, 2006, 9:59 PM
on the one hand, when you lose a lot of weight you realize your life is better, so it's sensible to fear a return to the old state... plus there's all these people congratulating you for being thin, as if the old you was such a terrible person. You start to hate the old you... which is pretty awful if you think about it.
on the other hand, losing weight tends to require big changes, mostly psychological right? I mean, the hard part is the mental makeover that gets you to persistently make the hard choices to exercise and eat right. Even if someday you can't keep up this level of health / thinness (and you won't be healthy forever, unless you get hit by a truck in your prime) -- you can continue to own the new you that you carry in your head. So that's something.
the hard part, IMO, isn't just losing weight -- we know that obsessing enough can accomplish that -- it's losing weight without losing your mind in the process. Making room in your life for the new good habits while leaving room for the other things you value, and room in your mind to relax and appreciate yourself and the other important stuff.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006, 11:10 PM
Honestly, I'd say see if your employment has some kind of employee assistance program involving counselling. Talk it out with someone who can provide you with good advice, and help you work through it. Worrying isn't good for your health, and sometimes you need help from others for you to find what is a happy medium. Seek professional help- someone who will challenge your way of thinking, and who can help you change thought patterns so you can be happy without constant worry.
I think more women should do this, as it's a common, common problem, and it can suck the joy right out of you. You worked hard to get to your goal wieght, you're entitled to enjoy it!
Wednesday, February 08, 2006, 12:27 AM
I've been wondering if keeping the weight off ever gets easy. This post gives a pretty realistic answer, I guess. I just finished reading a pretty good book (Younger next year for women by crowley and lodge, there is also one for men). It made the point that we should think about the exercise and all as our second job. Just gotta do it. So I'm thinking that I need an attitude adjustment so I don't feel like I'm obsessing all the time, too. It just a job (rather sucky poo I admit). Gotta keep on doing it. but tell me, you who have met your weight goal. Does committing to the exercise get easier? You at least aren't dragging around all the jiggly flab and hopefully you have new muscle?
Wednesday, February 08, 2006, 1:30 AM
You don't need to look at exercise as a job. You need to find the type of exercise that you enjoy and have fun at it. Make it interesting and then you will be more interested in doing it. Every time I lose a pound of fat or see new muscle definition I have a small celebration and use that as motivation to keep going. I have a picture of my "fat" self that I take out and look at when I am needing an emotional boost to get me going. I see how far I have come and I congratulate myself and then look forward to the next celebration. I don't mean an all you can eat celebration I mean I buy myself a new pair of pants or I go out with my family to see a new movie. I might even just call up a friend and share my good news. All of these things make my little struggles worthwhile.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006, 8:46 AM
Thanks for all the comments and advice. I am glad I am not the only one (I knew I wasn't, but sometimes you just have to hear it).
I think I need to find a new obsession that is healthy. Running is my favorite activity, so I am trying to make that my "obsession." However, it still relates to weight. Some days I run because I need to burn extra calories, but most of the time I run because I love it and it makes me feel so great!
Anyway, I don't think there is a good answer for our problem - it's just something that we have to make peace with.
I really liked one person's comment about the fact that the hard part about losing weight is keeping from losing your mind in the process - that is so true! But we should be proud of ourselves and simply continue a healthy lifestyle. Easier said than done, but we will get there!!!
Wednesday, February 08, 2006, 9:19 AM
It's interesting to read this. I am about 25-30 lbs overweight and have gotten to a point where I'm really tired of thinking about losing weight. I think about how much time I spend thinking about it and wonder what else I could be doing with my brain if it weren't busy thinking about it. I'm sure that if I lost the weight, I would have to continue thinking about it--which it sounds like. I wish there were some way of understanding all of this so it wouldn't be such a struggle.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006, 10:34 AM
I still obsess over my weight...one of the ones that gets on the scale every morning and sometimes before bed. I've lost 42 pounds over the last year, and I have about 10 more to go to get to my goal of 125. I know that even at 125 I'll be considered at a healthy weight but still not skinny. I'm 5' tall, and early on I realized that if I want to be healthy/slim I'd have to commit to exercise for the REST of my ENTIRE life. Rather than seeing it as something that I have to do to get to a certain weight and then I can stop, I'm trying different things to make it more enjoyable and easier to stick with, forever.
Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone!
Wednesday, February 08, 2006, 12:38 PM
What a good thread. I often wonder WHAT I could think up if I wasn't constantly thinking about food/weight/etc. When I'm walking to work, riding the train, sitting in a meeting, my mind constantly wonders to what I should and shouldn't eat that day, the blunder I made by having that third cookie the night before, or wondering why the person next to me is so damn thin. I swear I would have topped Einstein's theory of relativity by this point.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006, 2:18 PM
einstein or thin
I heard about a self-help book with the premise that the trick is not time management, but "energy management", both mental energy and physical energy. I find this to be very true in my life. You only have so much oomph to give to your job, your friends and family, your hobbies, your creativity... and it's up to you to decide how to divvy it up. If you look at the great athletes, scientists, businesspeople -- they aren't nec geniuses, they just put ALL their energy into that one thing (in my experience). So how do you have a happy balanced life, while still feeling like you are a success? The best answer I've got so far is: keep an eye on every ball you're juggling, don't neglect any area too long, don't be too much of a perfectionist, and try to be clever so that you can work smarter not harder... Easier said than done! :)
Thursday, February 09, 2006, 11:22 AM
oh, and form HABITS, that's crucial. Habits get done what you need without taking the mental energy -- you brush your teeth everyday, but it doesn't absorb any energy right? I'm trying to make healthy eating and exercise an unconscious habit -- so I can get back to being einstein ;)
Thursday, February 09, 2006, 11:34 AM
Obsession with Weight
Boy did your comments make me feel a bit more normal. It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one out there that feels this way.
I have the same obsession...fear of gaining weight. I am actually at a point in my life that i like the way i look and feel. The exercise routine i'm doing is really paying off. The only problem is, what if the motivation lacks one day or one week. I know that it takes work to get in shape. But, there will be a time in my life when i won't have as much time to dedicate to working out. I currently have no kids. I worry that once i have kids i wont be able to do it all...work, take care of a family, exercise, etc. I worry that i will gain weight and not take it off after having kids. My boyfriend tells me all the time that he will love me no matter what. I believe him. But, i don't know if i'll love myself.
If you find that happy medium, please let me know how you got there!
Thursday, February 09, 2006, 11:47 AM
As someone who has lost weight to my goal and gained some of it back. I've learned that I have to trust myself and stay active. Working out is something that cannot be negiotated. I just do it. I pack my clothes in the car and go straight after work. It's a habit and a life long change. The people in my life respect that and support me in that.
It's OK to have that slab of chocolate cake (share it!), that steak entree. If you're staying active and challenging yourself physically, then your body can handle the flux in calorie intake. You have to trust yourself that you won't indulge. My weight came back even when I beat myself up for having a "not healthy" meal.
I like the suggestion about talking to a professional about one's obsession as there might be some other underlining issue at work. I'm going to out on a limb andpossibly upset some people. Weight/food obsession it's not an eating disorder, per se, but I think that it's pretty akin to it. I think similar mental processes are at work.
I've obsessed (present and past) about food and my weight and starved myself as a pre-teen. I've poked my thighs and sneered at myself in the mirror. But the second I started to be playful with the cellulite and love myself inspite of the cellulite, I both started to loose the weight again AND it made making the right choices that much easier and unconscious. I've also shifted the focus from weight to my health. I'm more interested in my heart and lungs and kidneys, more than how my ass jiggles. :)
I just have to remember to say, "hi, sweetie." or "hi, cutie-pie." to myself in the mirror and smile at my less than optimum weight and the cellulite on my thighs.
Thursday, February 09, 2006, 12:13 PM
Obsessing with my weight
I am not overweight either, I am 5 5in and I wiegh about 128, yes I understand where you coming from when people get mad over it they do that to. I have never weighed more than 135 and I don't like weighing that much and still want to lose weight , and that I can think about i my weight and how I don't want to gain it. I don't what to do? I am going to try to eat better and lose some more weight hoping that I will feel alot better about my weight!
Thursday, April 30, 2009, 11:25 PM
i don't have anything helpful to add, other than this thread is basically my life. i've gained and lost the same 20 pounds about 5 times. what i can't do is maintain weight loss. i am currently 5 pounds away from my goal weight, and as it approaches, i'm getting scared. i know to stay that weight, i need to keep up the same mindset (obsession) that i have now. but the thought of being this focussed on eating and exercising for the rest of my life is not pleasant (and often feels very self-indulgent and quite boring). exercise is not as tough - i enjoy my workouts and they have become a habit. it's the eating part that is so hard - never choosing what looks best on a menu, always saying no to sweets (or feeling guilty if i don't) etc. i'll be watching this thread to see if any helpful advice is posted!! thanks for posting this topic.
Friday, May 01, 2009, 6:57 AM
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