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Are Women Attracted to Fat Men?
There's a pretty popular thread going on about whether men are attracted to fat women. I put it to you this way: Are Women Attracted to Fat Men?
Let's be fair and see the other side.
Sat. Jun 21, 10:32am
LOL - I've thought of this myself. I definitely am attracted to a bigger man - but it has to be a certain kind of fat (and they have to be tall, too). Belly fat is the only kind that I don't mind. I don't like fat legs, fat hands or a double chin. However, I've been on a "lifestyle change" for about five years now and recently when I find myself attracted to a guy's personality, then I notice he's fat-in-the-belly, I try to shut the attraction off. I've come too far to enter in a relationship where the guy obviously is eating too much/drinking too much/ not exercising enough.
Saturday, June 21, 2008, 12:29 PM
Only very recently have I started viewing fit & toned men as more attractive than fat men. I used to generally be drawn to fat men and prefer to date them because I didn't want to date anyone who was smaller than me or had a much fitter body than me; it was a total attraction killer.
Saturday, June 21, 2008, 1:08 PM
To be honest, I really can't help but to be attracted to muscles! Not like scary bodybuilder muscles, but great definition and strong arms/back. I guess I agree with the previous poster and the only fat I can really tolerate and still find attractive is a little belly fat as long as it's minimal! Maybe because I try to stay fit/toned myself, I feel that men should do the same to stay healthy.
Saturday, June 21, 2008, 1:47 PM
I'm turned off by fat men (more than 40 lbs overweight) for the same reason 12:29 "shuts the attraction off" - obesity is a sign that something's wrong in his life and he's not dealing with it. I don't believe in fixer-uppers.
Saturday, June 21, 2008, 2:10 PM
I LOVE a well rounded chubby man! Not huge and blubbery with monster thighs that rub together when he walks. Or fat knees with flab that hangs over the knee bend on the back of his legs. Or double and triple chins with fat chipmonk cheeks. Or that awful roll of fatty flab at the back of his neck. Ewww!
But Thick and chubby with a nice rounded belly is very attractive to me. I'm just not at all attracted to a skinny man or even an athletic swimmer or runner build. And bodybuilders gross me out. I hate huge muscles with the veins popping out. Yea, give me a nice round belly man with some love handles.
Saturday, June 21, 2008, 3:05 PM
I've had a chubby lover in the past, and I must say I will never do it again! I prefer a bit of toned muscle.
I'd rather date a short guy than a fat guy.
But its really all about personal preference. I'm sure there are many fellows who don't dig MY body type, and thats okay!
Saturday, June 21, 2008, 4:22 PM
I hate to say this because its so hypocritical but I am not attracted to fat men, per se. Having said that, my husband is currently about 50 lbs overweight and nearly all of it is in his belly. (he's 6'4") We're both working hard to lose weight though and I'm happy that my healthy eating habits are rubbing off on him and his healthy exercise habits are rubbing off on me.
Saturday, June 21, 2008, 4:29 PM
My hubby was SO skinny when we first started dating. My thighs were bigger than his and I HATED that. He has gained some weight but is still super fit and trim. Having said that, I really like guys to have a bit of meat of them (not fat) but I don't like really skinny either. Hope that's not off the topic too much.
Saturday, June 21, 2008, 9:44 PM
I loved this question!
Everyone seems to have a different opinion,
I always feel more comfortable with a man who is much bigger than I am. However, I like a man who is broad across the shoulders, and this can really only be achieved by weightlifting. I am really unattracted to skinny guys. A really muscular guy I like OK, but a muscular guy with some fat, so I can't see all the weird muscle lines is what I like most.
But then again, I've always been a little bit odd.
Saturday, June 21, 2008, 10:18 PM
If a man is obviously overweight as opposed to being bigger because of muscle, then they are a definite turn off. They could be the greatest friend ever, but I wouldn't date him. I know that I'm not in the greatest shape either, but I'm working on it. Recently my husband ran into health issues that caused him to completely change his diet. He has dropped weight to the point that he is really skinny. He was never heavy to begin with either. I hate to say it, but I don't find him all that attractive now. I love him more than anyone else, but I wish he would put on a few pounds, especially in the butt. It has practically disappeared!! I can't complain too much, at least he is eating healthy and I hope to have him around a long, long time.
Saturday, June 21, 2008, 11:24 PM
My BF has gained 30 pounds, all fat, since we started dating, and it's pretty unattractive. It's not just the fat, it's a lot of things.
He looks okay in clothes, but is constantly pulling his shirt down and trying to stretch it a little to cover his belly. He has zero muscle tone, and his fitness capability is limited to about a 25 minute stroll before he is tired. He eats almost entirely garbage (bacon cheeseburgers) which makes him even more lethargic. He is downright exhausted after about two minutes of sex. I also worry about his long-term health.
I personally am in about the best shape I could be... I workout every day, ride my bike an hour to work, horseback ride, lift weights, eat very healthy. I would LOVE someone to join me on an hour run on the weekend. But instead, he's on the couch reading.
He is aware that he doesn't look or feel great, but he's not very self-motivated, so he's struggling to make changes. I can't help him that much either because he is intimidated by my fitness level and also HATES doing anything just for the sake of exercise.
Sunday, June 22, 2008, 7:27 AM
Like many others, I am turned off by the "fat lifestyle" more than the actual fat. My hubby is very overweight, which didn't bother me at first. I tend to be more about the personality than the physical. BUT - I despise the fact that he sabotages every diet attempt I make and ignores his health, as doing so is essentially a way of saying he doesn't care what happens to me when he dies.
SO... For turnabout, the answer is yes - women will still be attracted to you if you have a good personality, nice manners, decent hygiene, etc. But, if you want to keep a woman around, you need to take a look at your lifestyle. If you're somewhat overweight and active, you're probably fine. But if you think a woman is going to enjoy spend the rest of her life shoveling down french fries in front of the TV with you (or watching you do so), you're probably setting yourself up for disappointment
Also, as an earlier poster pointed out, sex is less than satisfying when the guy is tired after 2 minutes, and extra weight definitely adds to that problem.
Sunday, June 22, 2008, 10:57 AM
I'm a guy that used to be fat. I'm 5'11" and I used to weigh 368. I'm still 5'11" (lol) but now I weigh 243. till more than I want to be but way better than before.
When I was fat there wasn't a girl around that would give me the time of day. I think chicks went out of their way to NOT see me even when I was in front of them. I wasn't even good enough to be "just friends".
Now that I'm 243 I get much better response when I talk to a girl. She at least makes eye contact and smiles at me even if she 's not interested in going out with me. I know it's only going to get better when I lose the last 65 lbs.
Sunday, June 22, 2008, 9:31 PM
PP that's rough, and large women have the same problem. As for me, I like a "big" guy.
Sunday, June 22, 2008, 10:25 PM
I love that this was asked! Here's my two cents:
First of all, I am not attracted to heavy, too-skinny, or super muscular guys. I just like
ones! Normal, average height and weight. they have to be taller than me, but I'm only 5'2 so that's not a problem.. But anything over 6' is a little intimidating.
A chubby guy I've been talking to for more than a year does and has always had a huuuge crush on me and he lets me know every chance he gets. He's super nice, hard working, and he'd probably make a great boyfriend (actually, he's gone out with a couple girls while we've been friends and he's treated them great) but I'm just not attracted him and for ME that's just a part of it. This'll probably make me sound awfully shallow, but I don't think that the girls he's dated are very attractive either. I value him as a friend, but I just wouldn't date him.
... maybe I'm just "too picky"!
On the other hand, my girl friend who is a bit on the heavier side has always dated guys who are also heavy. As a PP said, I think she too goes for guys who are bigger than her. But she has a normal sized boyfriend now though who's pretty attractive, so for her that's not always the case.
Monday, June 23, 2008, 3:49 AM
Totally a double standard.
If a man says "I am not attracted to fat women" he gets bashed for not looking at her personality and is labelled as superficial.
If a woman says she is not attracted to fat men, it is ok???
I am not attracted to fat men (50lbs +), my hubby is about 20+ and because he is tall it works on him. I dated a fat guy for awhile, and would never have done it again.
It is interesting because I think that 20lbs overweight a guy looks a million times better than 20lbs overweight on a woman.
Monday, June 23, 2008, 9:00 AM
"Okay" or not, I have never been attracted to heavy men. Or even muscular men. I get teased about my taste in concentration-camp victims; for whatever reason, borderline emaciation has always been a turnon for me, even when I was overweight. Does that make me a hypocrite? Am I less of a hypocrite now that I myself am slightly underweight?
No, I think that one's preferences simply are what they are -- some people are attracted to one thing, some to another.
Monday, June 23, 2008, 9:53 AM
I dont love fat,per say, but i love broad.... so in a way yes
Tuesday, June 24, 2008, 12:26 AM
This is really cold. You ladies are the first to complain when a man disses one of you with extra weight. Here I am with some extra weight. Some say fat. Is it fat if it's 40 lbs more than the charts? So ok I'm fat. That means there's only 2 of you here that would want to go out with me. I'm a whole lot more than just a size and a shape. Isn't that what you say also?
Tuesday, June 24, 2008, 9:48 PM
Of course you are more than your physical appearance, pp! I think this is just about the initial reaction kind of attraction that we're talking about here.
I, myself, am turned on by tall, extremely thin men. Dark hair, light eyes. Facial hair is good. Smart, shy.
...everyone has their tastes. This doesn't mean that I find other men unattractive, this is just the most attractive "model" that catches my attention time and time again.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008, 8:39 PM
I dont like the super-buff nor the skinny. My "type" is slightly bigger - however my current BF is into body building so he has pretty muscular chest and arms. I like it but his legs are too skinny!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008, 9:00 PM
Hey 9:31 and 9:48, it's 12:29 here. You know, I probably would be really attracted to both of you! That's the thing, I like big guys - but I am sooo sick of being single, getting down to a goal weight, then dating a big guy and taking his habits on and getting fat. (I also know that ultimately I am responsible for what goes in my mouth but that's for a different thread!) I love how the later poster called it the "fat lifestyle". So I amend my original response. YES I AM ATTRACTED TO A FAT GUY ... but for my own self preservation, I'm trying not to be. However, if I found out said fat-guy loved cooking/eating healthy and being active outside and was still fat, then that would be OK w/ me. :)
Wednesday, June 25, 2008, 10:16 PM
I like guys with a bit of meat on them but I am REALLY attracted to height, the taller the better honestly I think it would be awesome to date a giant man whose taller then 6'8 even 7'0 if its possible which is strange because I am only 5'2 but I love that feeling of someone having to lean waaaay down for a kiss, so i suppose the weight wont make too much of a difference (unless he is grossly skinny) but i love 'em Taaaaall!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008, 11:07 PM
I don't mind fat men - I am not attracted to lazy men. If you're chubby, but can go for a walk/run with me - then it's OK. But to blow off any sort of exercise.....ick. Who wants a lazy person?
Thursday, June 26, 2008, 6:16 AM
"not attracted" vs haters
9:53 here -- (the one who likes super-skinny guys) I think the question of what I find attractive isn't an indictment of how anyone else looks. I certainly wasn't meaning to insult any men here on PT. In fact, the male "ideal" of buff and muscular doesn't appeal to me at all, either. But I figure that there is someone for everyone, and people are all attracted to different physical attributes. (I did go one one date with a pro basketball player, and there IS such a thing as tooooo tall, 11:07! And I have been turned down by shorter men I was attracted to who thought I was too tall for them.) As has been said in the complementary thread about men, "women" are not a bloc with homogeneous preferences! I think 11:07 described my kind of guy as "grossly skinny"! More for me! :-)
BUT there is a difference between simply not being attracted to a shape and drawing insulting inferences from it. For instance, "fat people are lazy." The heaviest person I know (a woman) is the hardest worker and possibly the smartest person I know. She simply lives more of her life in her mind than in her body -- she is wrapped up in discoveries and thoughts she finds exciting. Anyone like this, male or female, attracts others like bees to honey because he or she is so _interesting_. But that is a different question!
Thursday, June 26, 2008, 8:02 AM
Women are attracted to men that have confidence. Fat men don't neccessarily lack confidence like fat women do.
Friday, June 27, 2008, 6:43 AM
I do not find fat men attractive. I am attracted to tall, slender men and can't imagine not being able to put my arms all the way around the waist of the man I'm with. I find fat men clumsy and sloppy looking, even if they're not necessarily. Even a big man who can dance with ease just reminds me of Re-Run. Not sexy.
Saturday, June 28, 2008, 8:24 PM
I am not attracted to "Fat" men. However, I can easily be attracted to men with some extra weight.
Saturday, June 28, 2008, 9:32 PM
I like muscles.
I don't like feeling I am make love to a pencil
So skinny is out.
Muscles are sexy, no matter how you look at it.
Women like their men strong. Strong emotionally or strong physically....we want a strong man in our lives.
Sunday, June 29, 2008, 1:09 PM
I like lean, super-active men. To me leanness connotes self-control and outwardly directed interests.
That said, I don't have any time at all for lean men who obsess about what they eat.
Sunday, June 29, 2008, 10:49 PM
I think it depends for everyone. Being thin doesn't equal immediate attractiveness. And of course if someone had to choose a body type they preferred not many would choose morbidly obese or those who don't carry weight well.
I am attracted to naturally slender guys. Those who aren't toned but aren't skinny either. For example my husband is a perfect 32 waist. I like that (I DON'T like how he can eat 2 vats of ice cream a week and stay like that! lol), but I also find the "Teddy Bear" type attractive. Similar to the guy from King of Queens.
I like looking at 6 pack abs guys, but as far as romantic, I shut down. I don't find them tremenduosly attractive. go figure!
Monday, June 30, 2008, 7:19 PM
I love a bigger man. With a pot belly I can rub. Problem is I am chubby and they chubby men don't seem to want me. Double standard I guess.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008, 4:58 PM
Depends on how overweight and fat distribution. A little pot belly is not a bad thing.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008, 2:10 PM
My ideal would be a lean physique.
However, several times I have found myself attracted to overweight guys once I have gotten to know them, even if I don't initially consider them attractive.
Thursday, July 03, 2008, 12:25 PM
I love the chuncky men. I think "Stocky" is the way to describe it.
I've been with muscly guys, skinny guys, and bigger guys and I totally prefer someone who has something I can cuddle up to.
Thursday, July 03, 2008, 9:16 PM
Friday, July 25, 2008, 7:20 PM
In my experiences, overweight men tend to have low self esteem and I don't have time to lose my weight and try to get to.
my boyfriend is a rail though, 6' 145lbs
Friday, July 25, 2008, 7:46 PM
male, female, doesn't matter, fat is ugly
I am not attracted to fat men at all, no matter how confident they are. the guy might have a great personality too and be all of the things that great partners are supposed to be, but it wouldn't make me want to have sex with him. i may be superficial, but at least i am straight up honest. i am a visual person, and i am not turned on when i look at a fat man. i just think that fat is ugly. i like then tall and lean, but not skinny either. skinny is just as unattractive as fat is.
Sunday, July 27, 2008, 10:41 AM
Depends on what kind of person he is. I have gone out with my share of people who are physically attractive, but who are complete idiots. Sure, if I were single, I believe I would date a person who was obese as long as the relationship was healthy.
Monday, July 28, 2008, 1:33 PM
Ick. Obesity is a sign of gluttony. Yes, I'm on the course to lose weight as well. And it is because I overlooked what is natural and overate in general and the wrong foods. In my opinion, being overweight is not the sign of a healthy, vital man or woman. If he is really working hard to get those pounds off and get into shape, then great. But if he's just plain overweight, isn't actively trying to get healthier, and it isn't related to a medical issue, then it's a BIG turn off. I'm tired of all the people out there like Tyra Banks giving rah-rah to being overweight. Yes, be happy with yourself as an individual, but there is always room for improvement. It's hard work! It takes motivation, a support group, and spirit to lose weight! But we're all doing it together! And settling for someone who isn't on the non-fat gravy train to a better 'them' isn't going to help you reach your own goal to be a better 'you'!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008, 12:19 PM
6 pack abs
Well i agree that guys with nice abs are more attractive. Girls fascinates towards men with strong muscles.
Thursday, March 25, 2010, 2:34 AM
I liked a fat guy once. He was really cool; his name was PJ, and he was a really upstanding guy with a great sense of humor. Sadly, I tried to convince myself I wasn't attracted to him and the awkwardness (he had no idea what was going on) ruined our friendship. :( Honestly, I like a muscular man just as much as the next girl, but personality really is key. Confidence and self-respect are really attractive in a guy, whatever the outer packaging.
I would like to point out that there are a lot of people in the world who exercise and follow a healthy lifestyle, and yet are bigger than our culture says they should be.
Thursday, March 25, 2010, 3:32 AM
My boyfriend is obese and I am attracted to him. That is not to say that I wouldn't be more attracted to him if he lost some weight but appearance-wise, I'm not unattracted. I'm concerned about him health-wise, though especially recently. My boyfriend always looked best on the heavier side (thank a large frame and strong features). According to the BMI, he should be no heavier than 175 but I always thought he looked best at about 225-240, which is already obese for his height.
So, generally speaking for me, a fat man is attractive to me as long as he's relatively healthy. An extra 40, 60, or even 80 lbs don't matter much to me as long as he doesn't get winded just doing everyday things like walking outside to get the mail or take out the trash.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010, 1:20 AM
Obesity is a Pathetic Excuse!
If a man chooses to accept being unhealthy and obese, then it is a pathetic excuse to win a female over with the 'sympathy route.' I knew this obese guy in college who pursued beautiful women who were WAY out of his league. He NEVER pursued fat women! When these beautiful women would reject him, he would attempt to get sympathy from the female admirers by telling endless stories of rejection and heartbreak. I am very physically fit. Anyone who works out knows that it takes discipline, hardwork, and healthy eating habits to stay in shape. Why would I demand any less from my partner? I feel that an obese man should set the same standards for women as he sets for himself...Laziness, poor eating habits, and self-rejection! I don't like obese men! Am I shallow? No.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010, 10:36 AM
ok, some people on here are noticably and disgustingly shallow, i myself am a large man, after my tour of iraq i was in great shape, but the conditions there took their toll on my body ( courtesy of a blown up truck) meaning i now have a spine problem and serious heart issue, i used to look damn good. at 245lbs, i was in the best shape of my life, even at 5'7, but when i got back from overseas, everything that i had missed at home hit me like a freight train. my fiancee of 4 years left me because i wasnt the same person, idk, i had so much debt from being gone for 2 years that all of my saved money was gone instantly, now im around 278lbs. im still in the army, and yes i still pass my physical fitness test, some people say i either wear my weight very well for a big guy, or am just lucky that because of the army i have a mix of muscle and fat, but i feel ashamed when i go to find the right girl, and they wont even look at you because your not the 6 pack abs and brock lesner pecs guy. i have no problem with big women. i like normal sized girls myself, but man, ladies, you guys got to realize, everyone isnt the same, i can eat right and work out everyday and still lose not 1 frikkin pound, but my best friend? his ass can eat and eat and eat and eat and stay a constant 145lbs. and heres a one up for the rest of us "fat" guys, women apparently want a guy thats gonna spend more time worrying about his own physique that spending time complimenting hers. lifes about sacrifices, i go outside and do things, i love camping, swimming, doing army crap out at ranges and blowing things up, but it doesnt matter how awesome a bigger guys personality is, women today ( the younger crowd) are soo shallow that they only want the morons that look like (insert name here) from (insert movie name with super hot guy here). big guys of the world unite! lets show them theres a real difference between "fat" guys and "big" guys.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010, 8:14 PM
first off let me say Thank you to 8:14 for serving your country! It is a noble thing you are doing. I am very sorry for your injury and pray for a speedy recovery for you. I am a veteran as well and I am married to a 100% disabled veteran. I hear and feel your pain. Off topic I would suggest you keep a copy of all of your medical records. It took my husband years to get his disabliltiy because the Army "lost" important medical records. Every single time you see a doctor go to medical records and get a copy!!!
Okay now to the weight thing. I am personally not attracted to a fat man. I don't consider that shallow. If I was looking for a man to spend my future with I would look for one that did not look like a heart attack or stroke waiting to happen. I also like to be physically active and would want someone that could do things with me. My daughter is dating a larger man and she hates that he is to big to enjoy the same things as her. She likes to exercise, go camping, go on hikes, ride bikes etc. He can't and won't do those things. She likes to go swimming but he does not like the way he looks so he won't wear a swimming suit. She likes him and is willing to give up the things she enjoys for him. I don't think she should. Life is too short not to enjoy it!
Now if it is just a matter of a man carrying a little extra I am cool with that, but if he is so big it stops him from living then I would not be interested. You sound like your weight is not slowing you down at all and that is awesome.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010, 11:20 PM
I saw were sex was brought up and wanted to add that sex is way better if you are fit! Dr. Oz says that a mans penis is smaller if he has extra fat around it and gets bigger with more weight lost. I have been smaller and healthier and larger and have dated men of different sizes. I think the sex was best when we were both healthier sizes and could last longer :) just my two cents
Wednesday, August 18, 2010, 11:38 PM
8:14, I would be surprised if your dating difficulties stemmed from your weight. Your frustrated bitterness springs straight off the screen, and I bet you can't hide it in person, either. Frustration, stress, bitterness... I am not criticizing you for feeling this way, in fact it is quite understandable (my partner left me, too, and that's quite enough _without_ injuries, money problems, war, etc.), but they are unattractive emotions. A prospective partner wants value added to her life -- are you fun? funny? interesting? relaxed? I'm sure that as some of your pain fades you will find dating easier.
Or if your problem is with the "younger crowd," you could try one of us older women. ;-)
Thursday, August 19, 2010, 11:05 AM
why ladies dont like dating fat gentlemen
I am a retired US Navy Seal and I retired after 20 years and yes i was injured and that lept me from being in shape and i am with the help of mt doctor getting back to working out once again, but i am not trying to please anyone but myself in this effort.
All I am saying as i tell so many of the beautiful ladies that i come in contact with " One Can Be Beautiful on the Outside, But be Ugly on the Inside" , seek to know the inside
Thursday, August 19, 2010, 12:31 PM
hey Thursday, August 19, 2010, 11:05 AM , my frustrated bitterness shows when i read things like in shape women wont give the time of day to a man who isnt in their range of body types. i cant understand these women wanting what looks good to them, but when will some of these women realize that looks arent everything? i try my best to work out when i can, but with injuries from overseas, sometimes its not so easy. id love to have an in shape girl who would help me get back in shape, you know, give me that constructive criticism that i need, that extra push, its harder to do that by myself as its always easier to just say screw it, but if i had someone i was getting in shape for ( instead of doing it to get back in the game) itd be so much easier. i personally prefer older women, as they are normally more mature emotionally and psychologically than the younger girls. As far as im told by just about everyone that gets the opportunity to know the real me, and not just the me that you see when you walk up to me, im a very funny person, im very caring, generous, i cant resist the temptation to help someone else over myself, im fairly easy going, a live in the moment kind of person, but like i said before, women this day and age dont seem to want a man for what he can be for them, they want a man that looks good ( which is normally just pure hormones telling them what they want) im in the us army, a decorated combat vet, injured yes, but i dont let that bring me down, i stay positive, i laugh, i play, i go out, i engage in what physical activity i can (as long as i can until my heart acts up, which isnt often, but when it does its enough to make me take a short break) its just very annoying at times. i see my friends that are in great shape getting girls after girls that are both attractive and not attractive, but all of these girls always tell me they dont want to ruin our friendship by dating me then it not working out? i dont understand, i treat women the way they were meant to be treated ( with respect and dignity, and gratuitous amounts of love and affection) but they flock to my friends that treat them like shit....why???? why would they submit themselves to that? most of them say because he has a "hot bod"???? fuck that? stress? oh yeah, if you only knew how my 4 year relationship ended youd understand why im stressed. yes i absolutely agree that they are negative emotions, but they usually dont show their faces until i read negative comments from women that are in shape about guys that arent in the super bod category. i guess the old adage beauty is only skin deep isnt taught anymore. people have become so superficial anymore, myself included, but ive opened my horizons a bit, my biggest thing in a relationship is i dont care if she is overweight some, as long as her stomach isnt bigger than mine lol but as far as dating goes? i dont drink, i dont smoke, and its not a good feeling when one goes to the lake to party with the guys ( im usually the DD) and the chicks stray away because im out of their shape standards. its very discouraging. besides, ive found through experience ( i wasnt always out of shape) that girls that have that hard body were always more likely to be a b*tch. im sorry if i offend anyone with my language, but we are all adults here, and im simply expressing my opinion on this article. besides ladies, there is a huge difference between a "big" guy and a "fat" guy. and i wish there was someone out there who would give someone like me the chance to prove the difference, but as we big guys know, the ratio of women who like big guys, to the women who want the hard body, isnt exactly leaning in our favor. ( and to add credence to my problem with controlling my weight is according to blood test results i got back yesterday, i apparently have a thyroid problem, that SOB isnt working like he is supposed to so my body is stuck on "hold onto every ounce of fat" mode.)
Friday, August 20, 2010, 4:14 PM
PP, the good news is that things are going to get MUCH better with your thyroid hormone levels treated! It should not only be easier for you to lose weight, but you'll probably get an emotional boost as well. This diagnosis is great -- it's _treatable_!
You know, what one sees in a person has something to do with what one wants in a relationship. I absolutely have slept with a guy just because he was hot. But put up with his narcissistic high-maintenance crap in a relationship? No. And there's a difference between hooking up and getting into a real relationship. Especially that part about ruining friendships -- You kinda sound like you might be looking for a connected relationship among people who are only ready for hookups right now.
Saturday, August 21, 2010, 10:11 AM
army guy here
hey its me. thearmy guy again, ( the author of 4:14) lol, im glad to hear that the thyroid may very well help me get this issue under control. But, my issue lies with the hookup only part, im not going to beat around the bush for you, im 24 years old, would i absolutely love a hookup right now? yes. is it what im looking for? absolutely not. Getting a piece of A is all fine and dandy, but i feel ive matured beyond that semi childish act ( perhaps due to my experiences overseas) and i can see the immediate benefits of getting a piece in the right here right now moment, great stress reliever, but thats not what im looking for. i am searching for that feeling i had for the first 3 years of my previous 4 year relationship. You know the one, where you can walk in the door, from work, ( i welded custom metal fabrications) covered in metal dust, grease, black smudges of nastiness all over my clothes, and she'd look at me like i was the center of her universe. i miss that feeling........great....now im gonna get depressed again...geez...( pull yourself together man) ok....(big breath) so basically, what im trying to get at, is if women that are in shape would simply open their horizons a bit, they might find a great man right in front of them, even if he is large. But, then therein lies the issue, most women that have the shape guys look for, wont give the same attention in return. FYI, just because a guy has huge muscles doesnt always mean hes stronger than the average joe. ive seen this first hand, in combatives class, 2 men, 1 with ginormous muscles, the other with a semi toned body, and a bit of a pot belly, and guess who got the crap beat out of him......the muscle bound guy, turns out he was taking synthetic HGH ( which btw is synthetic human growth hormone, which makes your body build bigger muscles which is great but he never bothered to do any strength training which is what makes you stronger btw) whereas the other man, went to the gym everyday and worked out for 45 minutes. so dont try to pull that the guy with the big muscles is stronger than you and he can protect me crap either lol id go on, but i digress, its the end of my lunch break, and i have to get back out to the land navigation course and watch these idiots walk in circles for another 3 hours. lol (doesnt anyone know how to read a compass anymore???)
Saturday, August 21, 2010, 2:25 PM
Hi Army Guy, it's 11:04. I thought of you today when I was doing my workout. There were a lot of bicyclists, and hey, I enjoy seeing a guy's cute butt in Lycra as much as the next woman. But then this one guy comes along, easily 50 pounds overweight, also in Lycra. As he passes me I see that the back of his shirt, right across the rear pocket, says, "FAT BICYCLIST." OMG, I totally cracked up laughing. Give me a guy with a sense of humor any day. I mean, if I had had the choice to meet any of those dudes in person? Definitely would choose Mr. Fat Bicyclist.
It's not about fit, it's not about strong, it's all about value added. What sunshine are you bringing to someone's day today?
Saturday, August 21, 2010, 4:55 PM
army guy here
lol 4:55pm, thats awesome. i dont know, i mean does it count if i made michelle lawrence (one of my army cohorts) laugh so hard she actually pee'd herself? she was embarrassed as all get out, but even after she couldnt stop laughing. it was epic. all because i did a rerun of one of my lovely calls to tmobile customer care for her, with my own twist of course. i keep telling you guys, i make people laugh, its what i do, but everyone keeps asking what sunshine i bring to someones life lol and its like ya know if i could get these girls to be around me as long as michelle has, they'd realize how much fun i can be!! but oh well, i appreciate that you were thinking of me....makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. cant wait to see my doc and get this thyroid thing taken care of!!!! im super excited.
Saturday, August 21, 2010, 7:49 PM
My wife hatedthe fact that I was overweight, especially since my man boobs were bigger then her b cup lol... im not one for phys activity so the gym was out of the question. I decided to buy gynexin a natural pill blah blah
anyways I lost a few inches on my chest and my wife is happier with my looks.
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Wednesday, April 06, 2011, 9:10 PM
Depends on how fat. Plump with a soft round belly, love handles, and chubby cheeks that make dimples when he smiles or laughs -- hell yea!
But the kind of fat with bat wing flab under the arms, belly that hangs down over his thighs when he's sitting, chunk of flab rolled at the back of his neck, I don't find that attractive at all.
However, that doesn't mean I wouldn't go out with him if he asked me and if I thought he had a great personality and sense of humor. I could certainly enjoy his company, and I could even be sexually attracted to his personality. And if I came to really care about him, I'd want him to make some kind of effort at being healthier so he could live longer and our sex life could be more satisfying.
Thursday, April 07, 2011, 9:40 AM
I find myself attracted to all kind of guys, but only had relationships with fit and toned men.. which is a total surprise as I'm overweight/obese.. but they weren't complaining. ;)
Thursday, April 07, 2011, 7:50 PM
Men get a wide r range
I have always been attracted to bigger guys. (most of my life, I've been petite and slender). I guess it is sexist, but I always thought guys should be bigger. Love handles, a belly, and kind of thick all araound is not a problem. As long as they have energy and get up &go, I kinda like them thick. I have never been attracted to really thin guys. I like to hug.
Thursday, April 07, 2011, 8:30 PM
I don't like squishy men. I'm supposed to be the soft one, he's supposed to be the hard one. So nope, I'm not generally attracted to 'fat' men. Perhaps a little hypocritical because I have some extra weight, but like the 750 poster, I don't generally get complaints. I find plenty of in shape guys who love my shape.
Thursday, April 07, 2011, 10:35 PM
totally agree about lazy men
I am dating a kinda overweight but muscular man. We go on bike rides and walks together so I am very happy with him even though he carries a few extra pounds. he does not have a saggy belly so I don't consider him fat per se.
Friday, April 08, 2011, 2:12 PM
Im 5 foot 7 273 pounds. yes that means im obese but does that mean i dont have any sexuall feelings or desires ? no it doesnt. i havent met a great looking woman yet thats not shallow minded. being obese doest always mean we dont care or we have bad eating habbits sometimes its just bad genes we got from our parrents. obese men go thru hell on earth because we have sexuall desires just like anybody else yet we get rejected because of our weight. we have to suffer for something we cant all help. i live in deep depression because of this. attempted suicide twice and i came from a home of a mentally sexuall abusve farther. he would have sex with my mom in front of me and while on top of her say sexuall negative things at me like i'll never get it because im stupid motherfucker and so on and so on. plus getting my ass kicked everyday by him . kids at school found out about it and decided to finish were he left off. girls would say sexuall negative things at school to me. i went thru years of this and now as a adult everything that was said came true. i feel so murdered when i get rejected now. it has drove my mind into DARK places with no return. its a never ending rage. watching porn puts me in a deeper depression. and dont even bring up to me about seeking help. had years of counsling and meds including a stay in the state hospital. it was all worthless. I CAN NOT HANDLE SEXUALL REJECTION FROM WOMEN I CANT HANDLE REJECTION PERIOD. but of course im every womans buddy . we can always be friends. women know when your not getting it and laugh there ass's off. they love it. it would make there day if you blew your brains out over it. americans wonder what drives serial killers to kill. the funny thing is in public im just as silent as i can be. with a smile so bright. you'll never know it
Wednesday, January 04, 2012, 4:32 AM
You should listen to yourself. You're pissed off because women much fitter and much better looking than you are not attracted to you????
You sound sooo shallow and irrational.
You need serious counseling. You'll be a much happier, mentally healthier man.
I am overweight woman, and I don't blame fit men for not being attracted to me. If someone is fit, don't they deserve another fit person??? Of course they do. It's not about being a bad person.
Monday, September 17, 2012, 5:10 PM
I am definitely attracted to a bigger man. My man is six foot three and weighs 450lbs. And he is the most amazing man I have ever known. They're just sexy. I've always thought so and all my friends would always ask me what was wrong with me. Growing up I had no answers so I was just laughed at. But now I realize that they are the ones that are going to treat you like a queen. I love my man and his size only makes it better.
Saturday, November 03, 2012, 9:21 PM
I have been connecting on the phone with a guy. I met him yesterday - very good looking face and personable, EXTREMELY confident, and told me I would fall in love with him when I am with him. He is 240 lbs of FAT and it is disgusting to me. I think I am fat at 5'5 130 and he is 5'8 and 240 - OMG. He bought a 3xxx shirt. He presented me with 2 dozen roses, bought me dinner, little gifts at the shops, and is so nice, but can't deal with fat and imagine intimacy - UGHHHHHHH. He asked today if chemistry - what do I say to not hurt his feelings - I really like him as a person. What a shame. We are eating dinner, he is sweating profusely with his sweater on and couldn't even fit at the table but had to squash himself in cos I wanted the view of the stream. I am into hiking, biking, and eating very healthy ---- etc. I really like him what a shame - should I be honest and tell him I am used to 175 and 5'11???
Monday, March 09, 2015, 6:41 PM
I am a 5'9 tall slender woman with soft curves in all the right places and a flat belly but i LOVE me a nice thick man with a belly lol they are so soft and cuddly ; ) i most definitely perfer a big man vs a skinny man. i dont care if his thighs are big Its all about the shape to me. I just hate that a lot of big guys have low self esteem so sometimes its hard to show them that you are honesty attracted to them but when i get done with them they feel like they are the most attractive man in the world : )
Sunday, March 22, 2015, 9:56 AM
I'm a petite female and gotta say... I think bigger guys are adorable. They looks so huggable and cuddly! But I do like exercising and going out on adventures. As long as they enjoy being spontaneous with me and trying new things, I really don't mind the extra weight. :D
Wednesday, April 08, 2015, 8:48 PM
It depends on the circumstances. I dated a man who are obsessed with fitness to the point where they try to micromanage what I cook (I'm a trained nutritionist) but soon realized he had other "control" issues. I've also dated overweight men and the ones who were still fit e.g., they were runners, I had no problem if they had a soft belly. On the other hand I dated a man who was attractive but 50 pounds overweight, stated openly that he didn't like being the weight he was and that he was self conscious about it, yet did no physical activity, and ate very unhealthy food in very huge quantities; what put me off what the lack of congruence in what he said he wanted (to lose weight), yet by his actions he showed no motivation. It appeared that he had a food addiction which made sense with his other insecurities, and after a while I just couldn't stand watching him kill himself as he stuffed his face with food. I'd have time for someone who at least was making an effort to become more healthy.
Monday, June 08, 2015, 2:13 PM
This isn't a superficial response... there are a lot of things that come with an overweight man with unhealthy routines and habits. I was in a relationship where my ex gained a lot of weight on me. I introduced him to a lot of outdoor (and indoor gym activities) and he basically lack the self motivation to do it by himself. He'd rather come home, sit in front of his computer and play his stupid MMO than pay any attention to me... even when I'm there. We're together for 2 years and it got to be too much when I'm the one initiating sex all the time and doing all the work. None of those physical traits bother me until he developed a set of behaviors to go with it... then all his physical traits became more and more intolerable. I started to not be ok with his sagging pointy man boobs, his hanging gut that when he sits down there are more rolls with cellulite on them, cellulite on his butt and thighs and double chin etc...
Crazy thing was... he decided to break up with me because I was nagging him to stop playing video games so we can go hiking, camping, kayaking and basically all the things I enjoy doing that we did together because he'd rather be playing his MMO game. Yeah... so when I see another man of his built, I will not just be turned off by his physical appearance, but by all the behavior crap that goes with it that I am no longer capable or willing to put up with. He's like 30, so seriously grow up and take care of his life!
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What about me
I'm young, and I am on again off again lazy. I am 6'3" and 265 pounds. I did a lot of weightlifting in highschool so I am muscular. Also, I was a boyscout and went hiling and whatnot. I have a lot of stored up health and I can run really fast for my size, lol (5'2"). I was an all district O tackle. But reading these comments made me lol. I noticed this thing with women where I will befriend them and try to get in a relationship but it doesn't happen and then I see them with some guy who is a lesser grade version of me, lol. I have seen guys even bigger than me with gorgeous women, and I also dated a fit girl from the Philippines once. I see my weight as a barrier to entry with women. It's gonna be a little harder to get through the door, but once you are in, you're good. I also think that fat men getting winded quickly is not a big stereotype for me. When I play Ultimate frisbee or a sport, I get winded quickly, but I can walk for miles without getting tired. I can bike pretty well too. Reading these comments make me think of this time I was with this guy and two girls and they were walking really, really fast in the cold. I wonder if he was doing that to make me tired, but it didn't work because I kept up. Douchebag move, tho. I am trying to lose some weight at the moment and my biggest fear is if I lose it all and then it comes back even harder.. (I've seen this happen a few times actually)
Wednesday, December 14, 2016, 8:19 PM
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