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try VENTING not EATING
well as my log says Im getting divrced, but today is my four year anniverary.. I did some emotional eatinglast night thats so unlike me yesterday.. pizza, pepsi, chips, that type of food is so unlike my normal things I eat..
well today I decided I will NOT let him ruin my life.. that relationship is done and dusted.. this journey is for me and I WILL not emotional eat to comfort myself..
food like a drug when used the wrong way is only a temporrary fix.. when you stop eating. the problems are still there.. so just like a person that needs a fix. its only a temporrary high. so today I will decide to get my fix from healthy choices and making a better life for me..
I will get sexy as hell than go to him with divorce papers in hand and let him eat his heart out what he walked away from..
yea I know that may sound a bit chilidish to think revenge is sweet, but its better to have that kind of sweet that doesnt go to my hips... besides he is the one that decided it was over.. so I have decided my emotional eating about him is over. hes not worth it.. I am worth this time to take care of me..
anyone else need to vent.. Im here to listen
Sun. Oct 5, 11:59am
Sunday, October 05, 2008, 1:16 PM
I am in a simillar situation. I had to make the decision months back that I was WORTH something. My ex was emotionally and physically abusive. I spent months being told I was not attractive, I was gross, I was a bad person, that no one would ever love me and that him hitting me was the nicest touch I would ever feel as no one would ever want to touch smeone like me. I spent months eating away the pain of those words. Then one day I woke up. I was going to him feel like an idiot. I can lose weight, I can cut my hair, get better clothes, and even if I didn't I would end up with someone better then he could ever be, a happy me.
I am learning to like myself now, and although I think it will be a LONG time until I can date again, when I do, I know I will demand and get better.
Sunday, October 05, 2008, 6:10 PM
Its all about believing in yourself and it helps to have others in your life giving you positive support. My first husband used to put down my body also and that was when I was only 110 lbs! He said my chest was too small (so why did he marry me then?) so here I am years later at 145 lbs and married to someone who says I am beautiful no matter if I am small or big. In a way it makes it hard to diet because he doesn't care. So when I lose weight now its for me not anyone else.
Sunday, October 05, 2008, 7:22 PM
Ladies you are sooo very very right!! We are worth it!!! Keep up the positive attitudes!!!! I have had my share of bad relationships but nothing like what is being described here. I am sorry that you all have gone through this. I met the most wonderful man I could even have in my life just about 5 years ago. We met when I was 300 pounds and still together to this day. Things are only getting better! I do hope all of you find the happiness I have with my boyfriend.
Sunday, October 05, 2008, 7:57 PM
Stay Strong Ladies, you (we all are) worth it and so much more. There are so many great guys in the world. Love yourselves up to a really high vibration and you'll attract a pure Love.
God Bless You!! and Thanks Be to God for your new and prosperous Love lives.
Sunday, October 05, 2008, 10:51 PM
lynneta - we love you and wish you all the best. you are worth more than your binges. you are an inspiration to a lot of us. Please take care of yourself!
Monday, October 06, 2008, 4:54 PM
well guys It got bitter today between me and my soon to be x. he finally emailed ma back and we shared a couple of heated emails.. than I decided Im better than this.. I emailed him wishing him luck and continued happiness in his new relationship.. the best thing I can do is concentrate on me.. I probably had a few foods I shouldn't have had, but they were in moderation and they were not emotionally eating.. it was not being prepared when I was out and my head was starting to pound.. so I grabbed a few things, but over all it was a good day..
my marriage is over. whats done is done. its time to take care of me.. thanks guys for all the support.. I am taking it one step at a time .. one choice at a time.
I am worth this
Monday, October 06, 2008, 11:17 PM
Good attitude! Keep it up. The pain probably wont go away for a while, but as long as you know who's in control of you, you're going to keep up the awesome progress you have already made! Look forward to hearing how you are doing tomorrow.
Monday, October 06, 2008, 11:58 PM
hey 11:58 thanks for your words. yesterday was a ok day.. today will even be beter full of healthy choices and exercising.. yes the pain will go away, but I wont let it consume me.. I love my kids, but I love me enough to do what I need to do to take care of me.
so onwards and upwards.. or is that downwards lol. the BL is on tonight.. I get so inspired watching them.. it takes me back to how I was when I started this journey.I an ompletely relate to how heavy they are. hmm this is becoming like a bog about me.. I made this thread so everyone could vent.. jump in and share. scream, yell whatever you need to do BUT eat..
lets mke this day a wonderful day full of healthy choices
Tuesday, October 07, 2008, 4:08 AM
No revenge is sweeter than looking ridiculously hot!!! My boyfriend, or perhaps ex-boyfriend, left for 8 months to another country. I have spent the entire time eating my emotions over that. He is my first love, and I'm only young and didn't know how to cope. As a result of the eating, I am now unhappy with myself and how I look, and he is coming back in a month! The only thing left to do... eat healthy, exercise, and ooze confidence.
Sunday, November 01, 2009, 4:53 AM
By the way, good on you for deciding to change your habits!!! Good luck!
Sunday, November 01, 2009, 4:54 AM
I'm going through a painful divorce too. I've reached my goal weight, but the emotional eating is still such a struggle. Reading everyone's positive thoughts has helped me this morning. Thank you.
Sunday, November 01, 2009, 9:39 AM
I am so proud of you for being aware of your emotional eating and what triggers it. That is a hard step. I believe that your self-worth does not come from our relationships. This is HARD concept to get and I still struggle with this.
How we are treated by others, the words they say, the emails they send, they are not what defines us. What makes us beautiful is the very fact that WE are beautiful. Our children with thank us for exhibiting beauty with the world seems like it is burning down around us.
I have been there and in many ways I am still there. But the power to heal is within grasp and I believe that you will continue to thrive.
Sunday, November 01, 2009, 10:17 AM
Well done, OP!!! you have inspired me.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009, 10:27 AM
Wednesday, December 02, 2009, 2:12 PM
aww,,i wish u best of luck!!!
Friday, April 23, 2010, 8:57 PM
Wow.i too am in a similar situation, i binge eat at every little fight i have with my boyfriend. Just two days ago, we were in a pretty heated argument. I've been doing this for about 9years now. I keep saying ok one more time and i'm done with this relationship.. its unhealthy and i'm just plain unhappy. Of course its awesome when its good but when its bad its terrible. Physical and emotional abuse is what it ends with every time we argue. Its always me and something i've done. Always my attitude. I've tried to be positive and have a better attitude. I use the gym in the mornings before work to vent and work off the stress. I have two beautiful children. Its especially hard when i have no support to do things for me. If i was to say that or did do something for me.. i'm selfish and only thinking of myself. I just hope i can do this and get thru it.
Friday, April 29, 2011, 9:53 AM
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Saturday, July 02, 2016, 9:20 AM
re physical and mentally abusive relationships
I realized one day how unhealthy mentally I was in a toxic relationship I ENtered into . And a year earlier has seen red flags, before I entered . I loved this man but he did not know how to love me. He was an alcoholic and did only what he wanted I could tag along or be left behind. I was enamored with what he did. But it was very unhealthy. I realized when I looked a book called women who love too much. the cover alone had me in tears because I knew it was me. I did everything to try to change to the point i was throwing up to lose weight and colored my hair blonde because that is what he always looked at. And doing things I thought I would never lower myself to do to please him. And all that time I was getting sicker. And he was never satisfied because of his own issues. I realized I was dying mentally and physically for a man that would never be able to emotionally or physically love me as i needed. It was me that chose a man I knew that would be like that. so it was me who was sick . I realized I in my way of thinking , cooming out of an abuseive relationship just settled for a guy as long as he didnt hit me. that was MY ONLY standard. But I left very IMPORTANT THINGS OUT. I did not compared him to the ethica and moral I had before that I hjad. I though I could change him .I CANNOT CHANGE ANYONE BUT MYSELF. I love him still and know that the anger and resentment that built was because He would not change for me. Because I expected that. He did have problems that could have improved the relationship if he had acknowledged them as a problem but he did not. That was something he needed to do but he had to want it and to get help. He did not see it as a problem. That will not likely change until something happens that is so profound that he takes a look at himself. I was so low in my self esteem My Own self that I allowed and DID things I would never do. I realized after reading that book I had to leave and help myself . And pray for him that he gets help for his issues someday. But I was being taken down with him Because I ALLOWED it. I have been celibate for 8 yrs almost. and don't date for many reasons. One is that I know that I would have continued to allow myself to Be in bad situations Because I WAS NOT HEALTHY in MY THOUGHTS ABOUT MYSELF. I WOULD SETTLE BECAUSE I WAS LONELY . I REALIZED I DEPENDED ON THE IDEA OF HAVING A MAN IN MY LIFE> too much. I DON'T NEED A MAN TO SURVIVE> BUT NEED TO GET MYSELF IN A PLACE WHERE I AM HAPPY AND KNOW WHAT I WILL NOT TOLERATE WHAT I EXPECT IN A LIFE LONG RELATIONSHIP AND IF I FIND A MAN SOMEDAY THAT CAN FULFILL WHAT I NEED FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE> IF AI NEED THAT> THEN I WILL BE READY TO SAY NO TO THE ONES THAT I NEED TO SAY NO TO> UNTIL U CAN SAY NO> AND STAND UP FOR YOUR SELF I WOULD NOT DATE. CELIBACY MAKES YOU FEEL SO GOOD IN THAT YOU ARE SAVING YOUR SELF FOR THE ONE THAT DESERVES ALL OF THAT BEAUTIFUL YOU. EVERY TIME YOU SLEEP WITH A MAN YOU TIE YOUR SOUL TO HIM. BECAUSE THAT ACT IS SPECIFICALLY MADE FOR TYING SOULS IN MARRIAGE. SO THAT IS WHY ITS SO PAINFUL. I HONESTLY WOULD RATHER BE ALONE THAn TO GO THROUGH HEARTBREAK AFTER HEARTBREAK WASTING ALL THE BEAUTY OF WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER ON THE WRONG MEN, AND HAVING NOTHING BUT broken heart LOW SELF ESTEEM, AND BAGGAGE TO OFFER THE ONE MAN THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO WAIT and PREPARED MYSELF FOR.
Our self esteem can greatly effect how we make choices
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