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Strange (un)Supportive Comments?

I just had a strange conversation with a co-worker.

She brought up the weight I had lost and I said I was starting to feel a little top-heavy because the weight isn't coming off proportionally. She said "and that sweater isn't helping either. You should get a better bra too." Now, I don't know this woman well enough to be discussing bras with her and I'm doing my best to not take her comments negatively. I'm trying to be amused by it because, seriously, who says that?

Has anyone else had weird exchanges like this?


Wed. Mar 1, 10:38am

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Unsupportive Comments

I love this topic idea!

I am currently losing my pregnancy weight, but BEFORE becoming pregnant, I had successfully maintained a 40 pound weight loss for 2 years. So, now that I'm trying to lose the weight again, I've had several family members, friends and coworkers tell me that they hope I don't get as low as I did the first time because I looked TERRIBLE. Some people have even told me they thought I was anorexic (which I wasn't).

It makes me wonder...why didn't they say something to me at the time?

Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 11:10 AM

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I notice that a lot of the comments I have received come from people like my grandmothers. I don't know if that is everyone's experience, but my grandmother is always making comments about people's weight. She is nice enough not to put them directly at me, but I have heard her make comments about other people, especially my mother.

A few months after my baby was born we went out to eat with my husband's grandmother, who I might add is overweight herself. As I was stuffing my face with a piece of chocolate cake, she happened to mention, "I sure do hope you get down to the weight you used to be at, you sure were beautiful." I said, "So do I, but I don't make comments like that when people are stuffing their faces full of chocolate cake." She said, "That's the best time."

I mean, do I really want someone commenting about my weight in front of my husband - again?

Another one for you... I was out exercising one day - walking in my neighborhood - and found a big, long tree branch that I wanted to use for Halloween decorations. The sidewalk is across the street from my house, as I neared the house I crossed the street where I normally do. There was a plumbing truck parked in the street at the house next door, and I walked very close to it to avoid being in the street as much as possible. I accidentally swiped the side of the van with the long branch I was carrying.

The guy got out of the van and made a comment to me about how it must have been too much exercise for me to walk further down so I wouldn't scratch his van.

That was in October - over 4 months ago, and it still hurts. And this was coming from a stranger.

It's amazing how long hurtful comments can stay with you. I know my mother is still battling demons from childhood.

You know what, screw 'em. (Excuse me.) There are plenty of positive people and things in this life.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 11:53 AM

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The plumbing company was David Gray Plumbing in Jacksonville, Fl.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 11:54 AM

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In college, one of my roommates mother said point blank "You've gained weight" She made dinner for all of us that day (a huge Mexican meal, lots of carbs) and filled up my plate. When I did not eat it all she then proceeded to tell me how rude I was for not eatng all of her food she cooked. This is after telling me I've gained weight, do you believe this woman? I then understood why her daughter, my roommate as CRAZY.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 12:48 PM

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Oh, My grandmother was just like that. The moment I stepped in the house it was, "Eat, eeaatt, eeeeeeeat more!" Interspersed with running commentary about how I really needed to lose weight and become "sylphlike" to find a husband. I just figured her knowledge of biology was less than rudimentary.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 12:57 PM

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The people who make comments like that have huge issues of their own...like being so unhappy that you need to bring other people down. Always remember that you cannot control other people, only your own reactions to them. So ignore them and feel pity for them and go about the business of making your life the best it can be. And then turn around and pay somebody a compliment or do something nice for someone else because it makes you feel better but don't waste your energy fretting about the mean things people can say.....unless it's your mother-in-law in which case you have to draw the line and tell her to keep her opinions about you to herself.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 1:26 PM

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My sister likes to give back handed compliments like when I went from 175 lbs to 160 lbs she said "Oh, you've lost weight. Good, because I was so worried about you." Worried about me? Why? It's not like I was so obese I was in danger of heart failure.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 1:37 PM

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My mother is horrible about saying just what she is thinking. I came home from bootcamp in the best shape of my life, totally proud of all I had accomplished. She told me I was anorexic and should see a doctor for my eating disorder. I mean really I just came from bootcamp, had a six pack, never once did eating disorder even become a possibility.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 2:06 PM

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I wouldn't take it too personally.... maybe she just saw the Oprah episode where the right bra can make you look tons better. Or maybe she just read an article about the same topic. Maybe you should treat yourself and get fitted for the right bra at Victoria's Secret or another upscale department store - where the sweater you were wearing and see if you see some difference. All your hard work may show off even better! Who knows!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 2:09 PM

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oh my gosh! what a b*tch! that is such a crappy thing to say to someone! she's possibly jealous of your success!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 2:13 PM

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