CommunityBrowse groupsBlogEtiquetteInvite Your friendsSuccess Stories

Lounge
Community 


overreacting

geez. okay i am at clincials and go to check my phone to see 4 missed calls 1 text and 1 message all from bf, who is pissed off that i wouldnt answer my phone., HELLO im in clinicals i can't answer. he had to come to town for a appt and wanted to sit at my place to wait, i can't answer at there, i didnt even see the messages til 2 hrs later and now he is all pissed. i feel bad for my self for the way he is acting. i just needed to vent

Thu. Apr 6, 6:40pm

Add comment  
Your BF needs to back off. The cell phone is not a leash.

Thursday, April 06, 2006, 8:36 PM

Add comment
ahhhh! op

op: he usually isnt not controlling at all in that way. its just like he wants to always though the blame on me, for every little thing. and god forbid he say he is sorry. i should have to apologize. i love him, but lately ive been thinking of my future, and that there isn't going to be much of one. he doesnt know how to save any money, and prolly will never make alot. i dont think i would want to live with him, he is soo messy. GOD idont know anymore at all. i love him, i think he loves me, somewhat

Thursday, April 06, 2006, 10:08 PM

Add comment
let's not overreact to her overreaction of his overreaction...sounds like he misses her; she's too busy to do anything about it; and it's all exploding. if they are committed to the relationship, they'll be ok.

Friday, April 07, 2006, 8:27 AM

Add comment
op

we've beeen toghehter for almost 3 yrs. we took a break last year, and before that he could say he loved me. now he says he doesnt know what love is.

Friday, April 07, 2006, 10:04 AM

Add comment
Dear OP, Many months ago, there was a thread that talked about the book The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense by Suzette Haden Elgin. I think this book would be a real eye-opener for you. This book would define your boyfriend's behavior as verbal abuse. The book would also teach you how to gently counter your boyfriend's verbal attacks. Best of luck.

Friday, April 07, 2006, 12:51 PM

Add comment
Dump him! Sounds controlling and unloving. I know, but you love him. But does he show love for you and treat you with respect?

Saturday, April 08, 2006, 4:57 AM

Add comment
Do you really love him or is it that he is there when you need him? If you don't see a future with him and you wouldn't want to live with him and he hasn't got motivation to earn money then you need to ask yourself why your wasting your time? Seeing no future with him should be enough of an eye opener to start thinking of finding someone who does fit into your future. Don't make the mistake of thinking he is going to change for you and don't make the mistake of being the one to end up supporting both of you.

Saturday, April 08, 2006, 5:33 PM

Add comment
To the OP

I agree with the last poster.

1) Financial concerns can weigh very heavily on a relationship. Not sure how old you are, but if you have concerns about his spending habits and he hasn't moved towards making them better, you are setting yourself for many future arguments on this issue.

2) If he can't hold his weight in income, you need to think a lot about this. If this is troublesome to you now, think of how you will feel in 10 years, if you've been his "sugar momma"... My aunt supported my uncle & her 2 boys for the duration of their marriage. My uncle has been saying since the 1980s (YES, the 80s!!!) that the "economy is bad, so I can't find a job". He had a degree in Accounting... so there you have it--he wasn't trying hard to find any job. Took her 20 + years but she finally divorced him... but here's the kicker, he lives in the basement of the house SHE paid for, and SHE still pays for. Luckily, both of their kids are in College / Graduated from College now... but even to this day, he has a MINIMUM WAGE, PART-TIME job!!! You truly don't need to go down that same type of path!!!

3) Okay, even if you are "over-reacting" to him "over-reacting", his paging you repeatedly and then getting jealous or angry that you haven't responded to his calls is NOT a good sign. My friend's hubby was the same way. If he called, she had to jump-- however, if she called him, he NEVER answered the phone-- it's like he looked at it, saw that it was her and then wouldn't call back.....

In other words, it's an issue of control... Thankfully, you seem to see that as part of the equation.. However, you need to be firm about his TRUST in you. In his reaction, I see lack of trust. If you haven't done anything to violate his trust, then HE is over-reacting, not you! Verbal abuse can lead to worse things down the road!

4) I know this sounds old-fashioned, but I believe that it's sometimes kind of true-- my mom says that the woman should always be with a guy who loves her more than she loves him.... The hidden meaning is men tend to find it easier than a woman to "trade for a newer, younger "model" of woman" when they get older....If he is already saying he's not sure what love is... do you really think that staying with him is going to help him to love you more? I don't know that that will happen. It seems that he might get the wandering eye and leave you high and dry down the road....

5) Step BACK and take a deeper look into your relationship. If you were talking to a friend and she presented the scenarios you presented to us, what would your advice be to her??? I tend to think that you might not tolerate a man treating your friend this way... and why should you tolerate that type of treatment yourself?

Sunday, April 09, 2006, 3:06 AM

Add comment
He's too emo. Life should not be filled with such drama!

Sunday, April 09, 2006, 1:12 PM

Add comment
to the 3:06 poster . . .

#5 is great advice!!! i have a sister in a really unhealthy relationship and i've tried everything to illustrate the situation w/ no success . . . this is a great way to think about the situation! thanks!!

Sunday, April 09, 2006, 2:16 PM

Add comment
red flags

This shouldn't be that big of a dilema for you, how many red flags do you need? I agree with another poster on here, "life shouldn't be filled with that kind of drama".

Sunday, April 09, 2006, 3:20 PM

Add comment

Next: Click Here For Recipes That Help You Lose Weight
New: The PEERtrainer Cheat System
The PEERtrainer Cheat System is a new, simple to follow system for eating. The objective is to help guide you towards a way of eating that will make it easier to lose weight, give you more energy and help you feel better. It is free, easy to follow, and a little unusual and controversial. Most of all it is working. This link will take you to a blog post where you can download a FREE copy of the Cheat System Diet Cookbook! The Cheat System has also been turned into a major book to be published May 6th, 2014. According to Srini Pillay, MD, Harvard Medical School: "It works in a real way with how human psychology works...I love that it relates closely to how the brain likes to function... without crazy effort and with significant short-term gains."
Here is a preview of the cover:

Cheatcover

You can get started on the system for free by clicking on this banner:

peertrainer cheat system

"Gives you the template to lose weight without sending your hormones in a disastrous death spiral."

-Sara Gottfried, MD, NY Times Best Selling Author

"The Cheat System Diet is brilliant! Jackie Wicks understands how the brain works, and how habits are developed in the real world."

--Steven Masley, MD, Assistant Professor University South Florida

 






Explore Related Articles
Weight Loss Motivation   Sustainable Weight Loss
Weight Lifting    Hypnosis and Weight Loss
Emotional Eating   Help Losing Weight
Free Weight Loss Program   Weight Watchers Points  NutriSystem
How To Change Anything

weight loss coaching


New Services and Offerings From PEERtrainer:

1) How To Achieve Sustainable Weight Loss This is a new 12 week program that helps you solve the mental blockages that are prevent many from sustainable weight loss. The most interesting thing about the program is what participants are saying and you can click on the link to read them.

2) Tip Of The Day Weight Loss Coaching Program-- This is a daily email program that helps to reinforce fundamentals as well as gives you practical tips each day. We are getting GREAT feedback from subscribers.

3) What Are Your Odds Of Losing Weight?-- Take the PEERtrainer Coaching Quiz Now!

4) Tip Of The Day Blog-- We update this each day with responses to specific questions from our coaching subscribers and customer.

5) New Diet and Weight Loss Content-- We have launched a new diet section that organizes the growing amount of content on the site. When you click in the most important areas are highlighted.









Related Content:

How To Lose Weight- The Basics
Weight Watchers Points System
The Fat Smash Diet
The Eat To Live Diet
The Beck Diet Solution
How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight

 

How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer

How To Burn Fat
Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works
Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight?
Tips On Using PEERtrainer
Visit The PEERtrainer Community
Diet and Fitness Resources

Fitness

Weight Watchers Meetings
Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are
Writing Down Your Daily Workouts
Spending Money On A Personal Trainer?
How I Became A Marathon Runner

 

Preventive Health

How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout
Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot?
Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer?
Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy
Reversing Disease Through Nutrition

New Diet and Fitness Articles:

Weight Watchers Points Plus
How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise
New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program
New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive
Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program
 

Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne:

Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough
How To Delay Short Term Gratification
How To Stay Motivated
How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule

Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions

Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight?
Are Protein Drinks Safe?
Nutrition As Medicine?
 

Everyday Weight Loss Tips

How To Eat Healthy At A Party
How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight
The Three Bite Rule
Tips On How To Stop A Binge






PEERtrainer Is A Free and Powerful Online System For
Weight Loss Support

Click Here To Learn More and Join!