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MEN hitting on WOMEN at the gym

I am 20 years old and i have been personal training for 2 years now. I work at a gym that has equal men to women. For the past 2 years i have seen many of people come in and out of this fitness center.

about 50% of the guys that come to the gym will stare at the women on the ellipticals, treadmills, machines, etc. and make comments to their other buddies about the "woman with the gorgeous ass".

about 5% of them will actually say something to the female.

now i am a very confident young man who is not affraid to approach and attractive woman. But the gym?

is it right for these men to stare?

is it right for these men to make degrading comments?

here is my thoughts.

women go to the gym for themselves. not to meet you. they want to better themselves and be left alone so they can focus on what they came there to do. workout.

I think that the men who come to the gym and are more focused on moving all the big weight around to impress the female running on the elliptical to the left is sad. they show up the same time as the females they are interested in and pretty much stare in between sets. IF YOU MAKE THIS YOUR WAY OF GETTING WOMEN YOU ARE SLOWLY GOING DOWNHILL. you are turning yourself into a creep. a stalker in a way. and no matter what you try and make yourself believe, it is just socially awkward and uncomfortable.

dont ask her to get a protein shake with you

dont ask her to grab some coffee sometime

dont ask her how her workout is going

she doesnt know you and if she wants to get to know you then let her approach you.

the gym is for working out. the club is for "hooking up"

men, DONT be that guy.


Sat. Jul 31, 1:42pm

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When it comes to anything as variable as human beings, almost nothing is universally true. (Death and taxes, of course.) We had a long thread up here not too long ago in which a guy successfully asked a woman out to coffee at the gym and they ended up dating -- it was kind of sweet.

Sunday, August 1, 2010, 8:05 AM

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personally i think it would be nice if a guy at the gym tried to make conversation with me. maybe that's just me because i like a good ego boost ;)

Sunday, August 1, 2010, 10:26 PM

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Despite what some have said in this thread (and another older thread) about whether women want to be approached at the gym there are no definitive answers. I will say that most women like to workout in peace. That being said, there are women at the gym for social reasons; however this tends to be the minority. My best estimate would be about 1 in 5 every five. That being said, if a woman is straight, available and interested in you, she will put off the positive vibes. If you don’t bother looking for the signs, odds are against you. If you think that women don't like to be approached at all, you might want to reconsider after reading the following...

I’m in my early 40’s and go to the gym regularly. I have a better-than-average physique with boyish looks. I’ve had women ranging from their early 20’s into their 50’s flirt with me. Here are a few gym situations I’ve encountered over the past year. I’ve had two red-headed sisters in their 30’s exercising next to each other on the treadmill. Holding the rails, they simultaneously turned around (multiple times) to smile at me. Another college-age girl would often do lunges strutting in front of where I exercised. She was approached by every guy in the gym—or so it seemed. Each time a different guy would approach her, she’d actually look over at me to check if I was watching—even with the guy still in her face! A gorgeous and busty woman detected that I was fond of her. I later found out she was a fitness model. Because she used hand weights she could have worked out in nearly any part of the gym yet she’d often do her exercises right in front the elliptical machines when I was doing cardio. Facing me with a low-cut top she would bend down making sure I had a nice view of her cleavage. One time she let her shoulder strap fall down revealing a glorious sight. The notable thing is that she didn’t even bother pulling up her strap—at least not for a minute or so! Oh yea…she looked up to see if I noticed. If the body language in these situations doesn’t emphatically suggest, “Come over and talk to me”, what other conclusion would you draw? I mean I could be wrong, but I doubt it. These are just a few of the more memorable situations not even counting the half-dozen or so opportunities that present themselves every single week.

The easiest place to pick someone up is in a class for two good reasons. First, she won’t be wearing headphones. Second, there’s a certain low-level bonding that takes place with those who take the class. If I were you, I would start by “talking” to another girl in the class when she’s nearby. Don’t talk too loudly, but make sure she can hear what you’re saying. Note: this approach should be in a completely platonic way. Talk to a few other girls over the span of a few sessions. This way she can see that you’re friendly yet she’ll feel special because she also knows that you don’t hit on every girl in the gym.


Monday, June 20, 2011, 1:47 AM

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Seriously, dude, just ask me out for coffee. It's the STARING that makes me want to punch you.

Monday, June 20, 2011, 11:53 PM

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used to happen to me when I was younger.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011, 9:28 AM

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