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do you "apologize" for healthy food choices when you are with others?

do you ever find yourself making some sort of "apology" when you are making food choices in the presence of others?

Does this quote resonate:

"I feel like I'm always apologizing for everything. I apologize when I order a salad instead of a cheeseburger by always saying, well I have a big event coming up, so I really need to watch what I’m eating".

I see other people do this as well. They "apologize" for their order with this: "I'm ordering a salad with grilled chicken because you should see what I ate last night! Margaritas, chips and salsa - I must have eaten three bowls of chips alone!" Why say anything?

It's everyone's dream to live without apology but no matter how many quotes we see, we take a step in that direction and we get hit so hard with a snarky comment that we go back to making excuses and "living with apology". How do you start to have the confidence - what is the first step to living life without apology?"


Mon. Aug 23, 11:43am

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This can be harder to do than say (as I personally know), but you don't owe anyone an explanation for your meal choices, and you certainly don't owe anyone an apology.

Do what you need to do to reach your goal, and as long as you're not all up in people's faces about it, what business is it of theirs?

Monday, August 23, 2010, 1:08 PM

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I don't apologize for my choices. And I don't like it when people question me, either (i.e., 'Is that ALL you're eating?'). I used to be more sweet-tempered about it, but these days I'm all for pulling a Miss Manners and answering a question with a question: "Goodness. Why in the world do you think that's any of your business?". Ha!

Monday, August 23, 2010, 1:12 PM

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I don't apologize, but it's interesting how many people try to force me to. "Oh, you're already too skinny," ; "You need to eat more," etc. I'm actually sure that I know exactly how much I need to eat., and I am certainly not even near "too skinny" by any medical definition. People throw around the nastiest accusations, though -- one of my vastly overweight co-workers regularly refers to me as "anorexic," although that is certainly not a problem I have!

Just say, "This (whatever food) is what I want." No judgment on anyone else, and they don't have to know every detail of why you want what you do.

Monday, August 23, 2010, 1:16 PM

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My BIGGEST pet peeves is when I'm eating my lunch at my desk at work and people walk by and insist on make comments. "What's for lunch today" "Salad?? Why are you just eating rabit food?" "EW what ARE you eating?! That looks gross!!" Etc. Etc. Etc. I get so annoyed I find myself going out to my car and driving somewhere just to get to eat in peace without someone giving me their input.

What you eat is nobody's business.

Monday, August 23, 2010, 1:51 PM

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I’ll admit, I have often explained my healthy food choices. I’d love to say I’m a powerful woman able to stand up to anyone about my personal choices, but I can’t (and probably won’t). Now if a total stranger or distant acquaintance criticized my food choices, I have no trouble making a polite “mind your own business” comment. Also, if anyone I cared about got angry with me for my selections, I would tell them to BACK OFF.

But the reality for me is that I usually don’t get total strangers judging my plate, nor do my friends and family angrily shove food down my throat. It’s a different problem all together. Almost all of the women I care about are struggling with their weight. They have been on the dieting-go-round and most have “failed.” And so I find myself justifying my food choices so that I don’t come of as “better-than-thou” to those I love.

For example when I say “I’m having a salad for lunch, since I messed up bad last night.” I’m saying to someone I care about, who’s having a terrible lunch after 6 failed diet attempts, “I know you struggle too”, I’m not better than you.

Or “Thanks for the Chocolate Pudding Pie, but I have to lose 5 pounds in three weeks.” What I’m really saying is I know you went to a lot of work to make me this pie because you know it’s my favorite, but I’m sorry I just can’t eat it right now. I’m rejecting the pie, not you.

I know it’s easy to SAY “I don’t care what they think,” but the truth is, I’m a social animal. I try not to make those who’ve “failed” feel bad, so I apologize away my dieting choices.

Monday, August 23, 2010, 1:59 PM

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1:59 - I can see where you're coming from, but I wonder how many of your failed friends then think, 'Is that her way of saying I should be eating salad, too?' "Is that her way of saying I shouldn't be eating this pie, either?' Your 'real' response to the pie seems perfectly lovely and leaves no room for misinterpretation. The apologies and explanations kind of leaves a black hole for people to jump into and take 100 different ways other than what you intended.

Monday, August 23, 2010, 3:00 PM

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i get the "rabbit food" comment quite a bit.

Monday, August 23, 2010, 3:05 PM

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To 3:00

Great point. I know in my head that honesty is the best policy, and your right, my "real" reason sounds great. But years of polite excuses are hard to break :-)

My family, for example is very proud of their cooking abilities, and they work long and hard in the kitchen, often throwing away recipes and pouring on the creativity. It's an art form. And itt's really hard for me to say no. I've tried and the looks I got were like telling a five year old you hate their drawings and you don't want to even look at it much less post it on the fridge.

Monday, August 23, 2010, 3:56 PM

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I eat lunch at work with a whole bunch of people who should be eating salad with me but aren't. I just smile and crunch away whilst they suck down candy and cakes. I'll win by losing, and they'll still be fat. Who cares what they think???

Monday, August 23, 2010, 7:33 PM

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HELL no!

Monday, August 23, 2010, 9:12 PM

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