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How to get over being mad at someone and let it go
I know I shouldn't be mad anymore but I can't help it. I'm still mad and I feel like I have a right to still be mad. I helped a great friend of mine find her future husband, helped her with jobs, so many different things. She won't be friends with me anymore and she won't tell me why and I'm so miserable about it. I just want to get over it and move on. Any suggestions?
Sun. Aug 29, 9:22am
Maybe it has to do with her and not with you? I once had a bf tell me that I did too _much_ for him; I did everything he asked. He worried that he was losing his capability and drive to do things by himself.
Sunday, August 29, 2010, 12:15 PM
I learned a long time ago that being right rarely leads to being happy, and there's little to gain by holding onto anger, justified or otherwise. It's only hurting you. So, consider it a gift to yourself to change your view of this person - she is a person with flaws, as we all are, and who knows what's going on with her. As hard as it is to believe sometimes - it could be squarely about her and not so much you. Again, who knows what's going on over there in her life. Feel good knowing you contributed to some positive aspects in her life, wish her well, and focus on bringing some of that positive movement to your life!
Sunday, August 29, 2010, 12:44 PM
This is good advice. Many times it isn't about you and it really is about the person who is mad. She could be mad for reasons you've never even though of! Had to do but you must move on. There is a chance you will never know why.
Sunday, August 29, 2010, 3:14 PM
First of all OP, so sorry, I know it feels just horrible to lose a friend. You kind of ache for a while. And it is difficult to explain to people because friendship doesn't rank up there with "relationships" with lots of people.
I left a friendship after giving probably way too much. I got frustrated and mad and communicated clearly with my friend about why I was leaving. It was difficult and I am still sad AND I am the one who initiated the transition. My friend is sad.
So chances are you are both feeling pretty terrible.
I still communicate with my former friend and who knows maybe some healing will occur for both of us. The doors aren't completely closed.
It's hard communicating about what is not working. But it is also really worthwhile to try to explain.
Wishing you well. Time helps. The great thing is you now have a new space to feel and it opens all kinds of doors to other people.
Monday, August 30, 2010, 8:03 AM
oops! Meant "new space to fill". But who knows maybe you have new space to feel too! Wising you the best.
Monday, August 30, 2010, 8:05 AM
pray for them!v And act as if! Remember feelings aren't facts. Just act as if!
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