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Anyone afraid to feel better?
I woke up this morning after a weekend of good workouts and fun times with a looming, black cloud of fear that I might actually accomplish my weight loss goal - what is that all about?? I am afraid of being happy - I am afraid of not having this problem anymore?? I don't get it. Its really holding me down. I should have had a workout in this morning already, but I've been sitting here with an inner voice telling me not to... that it may cause a bad turn of events or something. I think for so many years I have told myself I couldn't be happy unless I lost weight, I now feel terrified of being unhappy even AFTER I lose it. I know this may sound confusing and scattered.... thats how my brain feels. This isn't the first time I've had this odd fear - I think it has held be back in a wierd catch 22 for many, many years. Maybe I am having a mid life crisis - I am 37 and so scared of my future.... ??? Anyone ever feel like this, remotely??
Mon. Sep 27, 9:16am
You are used to a way of thinking and it is scary to realize you may have to let *it* go as you get healthy.
Getting healthy gives you more energy and makes you feel better. Life continues though and you experience ups and downs just like you did when you were carrying around more weight and not doing the things you need to do to take care of yourself.
I have experienced the same sort of thinking. It's kind of like IF I win the lottery THEN....... or IF I meet the perfect partner and we both fall in love with each other THEN.......
It's all part of living. SO don't worry about this. Just realize you need to give up "the dream" associated with getting healthier and realize the reality and really that is much more satisfying in the end.
Maybe you can start to log those tiny milestones in your daily logs and review them when doubt sets in. AND it is ok to experience doubt because it really is a realization that things WON'T be as you dreamed them, instead they will be what they are. AND in the end that is so much better. You just have to wake up to what is good in your life on a daily basis.
You can start with that today.
Monday, September 27, 2010, 10:33 AM
My guess is you're using your weight as an excuse to not be happy/have everything you want, and so you're quite rightly scared that if you lose weight, you lose your excuse.
We always explain things to ourselves in one fashion or another to create our perspective or understand our surroundings. We don't always appreciate the truth. It's like the woman who thinks if she only had bigger boobs she could get a bf, when the problem isn't her bust, it's her attitude.
Happiness is a choice everyday. Just changing the physical doesn't always make us happy. And we can be happy without changing the phsyical. It's a simple choice, but not always easy.
Monday, September 27, 2010, 1:42 PM
Hi, I think what you feel is totally normal and you are reacting well to it - you are trying to figure out where the feelings are coming from and asking others for help. I'm exactly your age and have been losing for about a year. I think when we start losing weight we think we will steadily become more attractive, happier, and more confident as we meet our weight goals, Doesn't always work like that, you have to expect ups and downs.
Monday, September 27, 2010, 9:52 PM
I don't have that much clarity. You're probably doing really well!
Monday, September 27, 2010, 10:20 PM
Hmmm, I can identify. When I weigh close to what I should then I get more attention and thus feel more self conscious. I'm hoping that now that I'm married and thus not having to focus on dating and now having the security and support of one man, this may be my time to get off the weight and keep it off!!! :-)
Thursday, September 30, 2010, 3:38 PM
Having perfect health is one less problem, and having a perfect wardrobe is one more, great benefit. Other than that, all your other problems don't really change.
It sounds like you are facing a deep seated fear. I went through that myself the past 5 days. A major crisis of faith- "I have no control over my life and nothing I've ever done has ever helped." I would say just sit and face your fear and take deep breaths and let yourself be filled with the strength to face the worst case scenario. It's not going to go away in a day, but if you really face it, you can make genuine progress.
Friday, October 01, 2010, 1:20 AM
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