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Negative reaction to getting into shape
I have gotten myself back to my pre-pregnancies (3) weight and been working out. I've gone from feeling frumpy and out-of-shape at close to 160 pounds to fit and toned at 125. Its been alot of work. When friends saw me this summer and commented on how I looked, I wanted to tell them all about it and how I did it. I was so excited. Well, a friend pulled me aside recently and told me that people think that I"m pulling too much attention on to me. She said that I should just say "thank you" and nothing more. That people are criticizing me for this. I am so hurt. For years I've dressed to cover my body and just watched everyone else dress for fun. I never thought that I could look good again. I just don't get it. I thought that telling people how I did it would help them to get there too. I know that I always wanted to know how people did it so that I could do it too. I was never bragging. I was just excited. Its taken me along time to get my old body back...I deliivered twins at 212!!
Mon. Sep 27, 11:49am
Plain and simple....they're jealous! lol. And maybe just keep your explanation short unless they ask?
But, I am very interested in how you reached your goal. Could you please tell? How long did it take you? And how tall are you? Thanks and congrats!!
Monday, September 27, 2010, 12:11 PM
You are probably right that they are jealous. It just seems with all I've been through, that they would be happy for me. Anyway.....here's my story (you asked). I was always fairly trim. Then I turned 40 and had my son. Then at 43 I had my twin daughters (last weighed in at 212). After having the kids I got down to the 150's...then the 140's...then back to the 150's. Last year I was turning 50 and weighed in at almost 160. I felt out-of-shape and frumpy. I decided to lose some weight. I started running to train for a 5K..it worked. I got down to 140...then I stalled out. I moved back to Illinois and stopped running. I started gaining again. Then I joined PT. With daily calorie logging and alternating run/walks with biking, it started to come off. I'm really good about logging...I think its that whole accountabiltiy thing!! Now I"m 51 and my husband thinks that I look better than when he met me!! My 6 year-olds think that I look liike "Barbie" LOL. Anyway, its been a long road and I didn't think it was possible. Funny, I"m crying as I write this because it means so much to me. Thanks for asking....I love to tell my story, not because I'm bragging, but because I figure I'm proof that it can be done. I just wish that I had discovered PT sooner!!
Monday, September 27, 2010, 12:46 PM
Sorry...got carried away and did not answer your other questions. I joined PT in April 2010....so I've lost around 15 pounds in 6 months. Prior to that, I lost around 18 pounds in about 10 months. I am 5'6"&1/2.
Monday, September 27, 2010, 12:50 PM
I always have to remember that my life is FAR more interesting to me than it is to other people. You know, ask them about how they are doing, and then if they ask you how you lost all that weight you can mention it.
You've done a tremendous thing and I'm not at all surprised at your enthusiasm. Congratulations! You DO deserve a pat on the back!!! But you have to accept that while this is an ongoing miracle to you, to wake up lighter every morning, it's something that other people mark down once ("She sure did lose a lot of weight -- good for her!) and then move on from. ("Does the dog need to go to the vet for another vaccination? Ack, the truck is already 200 miles late for its oil change!")
Monday, September 27, 2010, 12:51 PM
Such a GREAT story!!!! And you're 50. This is great because maybe I can do it too.
Monday, September 27, 2010, 1:32 PM
Truly, your story IS inspiring. Especially the part about being 50! (I am 57 and I am inspired)
You just have an audience problem and really it is ok. We all have audience problems from time to time.
You have great reason to celebrate and your friend (and maybe others) just can't be there with you for what ever reason. And maybe you talked too much from their point of view....but so what?
I am sure there are people who want to hear what you have to say and maybe some times you run the risk of irritating someone but we all do that and so it goes. I bet your outspoken friend has irritated you in the past....especially if she feels called to "correct" or call you out on your "error."
You have done a fabulous thing getting healthy again. You have a great audience here. Thanks for writing about your journey in the community forums.
Monday, September 27, 2010, 2:12 PM
I got the same reaction from my friends too. I had a co worker tell me I was too skinny. I hated it when I was trying to lose the last 10 lbs and the reaction was ALWAYS the same!! You look fine for having 3 kids. It's like everyone must use that as an excuse to not be in the best shape they can be. I was sooo proud of myself because I knew how HARD I worked. Some would say I made it look easy to lose weight. I'm thinking in my head I will call them when I'm up at 5am or running at 9:30 at night and see how easy they think that is.
I'm just wondering what team or group you are a part of. I would love to get advice and pushes to keep going from someone who really understands. I ended up gaining some of the weight back because I just felt like nobody wanted to hear about my efforts and it was just easier to let it go then to fight. But now I know I need to fight to feel good and if my friends don't support me then they are not the friends I need.
Monday, September 27, 2010, 7:31 PM
Hi, sorry but I agree with your friend. The whole 'telling people about it to help them get there' comes off as self-centred, or criticizing others. Only talk about how you did it if people ask.
Monday, September 27, 2010, 10:23 PM
ahh and the jealousy and meaness continues....OP just know that you are what so many of us wish to be, successful and feel good and proud in our own skin. So simply congrats, enjoy what you have accomplished be proud and choose your friends well ya know like your body that too can change.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010, 12:13 AM
12:11 here. Yeah no problem! I totally understand how meaningful it is when someone asks about myself. But besides that, I really was curious about your weight loss. Weight loss stories inspire me! I'm 24 and I have at least 15 pounds to reach my goal weight (I'm petite). Been struggling for awhile, but reading your story, I'm realizing I just need to be patient. Give myself like 6 months, as you did with your last 15 pounds. Congrats again!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010, 2:08 AM
Wow. Thanks everyone for your comments. I do feel better about it now. I will have to watch myself in the future as to who I talk to about my weightloss and all; but I will give myself a break on what I've done to-date because of my enthusiam. I'm not vain...heck, I'm 51.....but it sure feels good to be back in shape. I know its probably going to be harder as I get older....but I'm committed. I've got young kids that I've got to keep up with!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010, 11:04 AM
Oh...someone asked me which groups/teams I'm on. I am actually in three different groups...however; they are all at 4 (full). My teams are Springing into Shape and A Plus Postively Organized. The teams are hot and cold as to level of comments....but they are there when I need them!!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010, 11:11 AM
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