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Graciously saying "No Thank You"?
So I just posted this in one of my groups, but I think I'd like additional thoughts. A co-worker brought in some leftover cake today from Easter and since I bake a lot he insisted I try it. I did have a small piece but on WW that's still mucho points. Very few of my co-workers know I am following a diet and I don't want to bring it up. Also, I work in a very male orientated environment and frankly none of them need to consider weight loss.
What should I say when the "I'm full" doesn't work and the "I'm diabetic" is an outright lie??
Any suggestions would be helpful.
By the way the diet has been very successful. Today I officially logged a loss of 10% of my body weight! Thanks to everyone at Peer Trainer for aiding me in my success!
Mon. Apr 17, 6:36pm
Just say you will wrap it up and take it home. Then the following day say you liked it. Its a small white lie.
Monday, April 17, 2006, 7:09 PM
That does sound like a tricky situation
How about "I'm allergic" - even if it is something that you've eaten before, tell them you've been noticing that sugar gives you migraines or something, and you can't even have a little because it's not worth risking a terrible migraine.
Monday, April 17, 2006, 7:10 PM
oh just be honest. say no thank you, I'm working really hard at watching what I eat. if they care at all about you they'll get it and not force the issue.
Monday, April 17, 2006, 8:24 PM
I've done both ways that have been suggested by the above posters. I've explained to coworkers that I'm more comfortable with that I'm trying to watch what I eat. With others, or those whose feeling might be hurt, I've graciously taken whatever calorie packed treat they're offering, and either carried it home for my boyfriend or threw it away later (in an out of the way garbage of course). I feel bad throwing it away, but it's better than using myself as a human garbage-disposal.
Monday, April 17, 2006, 9:46 PM
I had to turn down a goodie a couple of times before my coworkers figured out that I really wasn't going to eat it (honesty is best policy). Now they don't even ask - what a relief it is! I just told them that I was cutting out all snacking. Didn't have to go into the whole story.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006, 12:09 AM
You can tell a white lie - hey, it's just a white lie!
Or you can be honest without being revealing too much, like some of our earlier poster suggest. Focus on "healthy eating", "cutting snacking".
Or there's also, the "doesn't agree with me lately" which won't be challenged except by the most dense of neaderthals.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006, 6:59 AM
If they wanted you to try it because you're a baker, you could try saying you're full, but it looks so good that you'd like a copy of the recipe for in the future, when you're not full. Then you're flattering them and letting them think that you think they did a great job, and if you never use the recipe, no big deal. And, by having the recipe, you can really calculate exactly how good/bad it is for you, and then decide how much is "worth it" and how much is not.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006, 10:00 AM
This topic is very relevant for all of us.....I think it says a lot about why we are out of shape and overweight. We care too much about what others think and feel and not enough about ourselves.......I decided this year that I need to focus on myself. I'm not going to be any good to anyone else if I'm sick and unhealthy because of my weight.
With this perspective in mind, I've told my husband to support me when I say no to others offering food. Most people get the message, " no thank you, I'm trying to get healthy." When they persist, I stay strong and if my husband is with me, he backs me up. (Usually my mother-in-law is the worst offender...she's a food pusher!) I don't care if they are offended or put off......I can't eat to make someone else feel good. I cannot continue to sabatoge my diet and training.
Along the same lines, I am training for a triathlon. I've really focused on making sure that all my workouts are planned and completed. If we are visiting family and friends and are out of town, I go out for my run as planned even if it means missing quality time with the family.....I have to do this for myself.
I think that being selfish is hard at first but a necessary step in successful weight loss. Be selfish now and you'll be able to help others more later. Plus, as I see what does it really matter if you don't eat a cookie or doughnut someone offers? There are much more important things to worry about in life. . .
Stay strong and stand up for yourself....you deserve it.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006, 4:54 PM
To the OP: This is the WORST! I dont work with mostly males, but I work with mostly middle-aged females (Im 24) and they seem to want to "mother me" by feeding me. If I say Im watching my weight it gets into the whole, "why, you look fine, just try it, its not worth dieting...." Sooooo frustrating! Didnt they ever learn the "no means no" :)
Tuesday, April 18, 2006, 9:04 PM
No thanks. no thanks no thanks.
Repeat as necessary. And who gives a crap if you hurt someone's feelings? Over not eating food? C'mon. As long as you're polite, you don't owe anyone anything. How about worrying about how YOU'RE feeling? This kind of selfish is a-o-k.
And WTG on WW - 10% is a great goal you've made!
Tuesday, April 18, 2006, 9:50 PM
Just say no thanks. I don't think you really owe them any explanation. If he thinks it's because you don't like his food, just let him know you are watching what you eat (you don't have to go into a big discussion about weight loss.)
My hubby brought out a slice of cheese cake that I've been eating in 1 or 2 bite portions over the past few days. I told him I didn't want to eat the whole thing, just a bite. he was okay with that and put it away. He knows that I'm watching my weight, and if I'm not hungry, I won't eat it!
Tuesday, April 18, 2006, 11:48 PM
The comments and suggestions have been great. I especially liked the one suggesting I take sweets home (and do with them as I please). Asking for the recipe is also a good idea.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 9:16 AM
If you watched that Prime Time special a couple weeks ago (about the people who agreed to let pictures of themselves in bikinis be posted on the internet if they didn't lose 15 lbs), humiliation was a great motivator for those people. And the psychologist said that for those of us in the real world, where the internet pictures aren't a realistic fear (since in most cases we would be able to control if they went up or not), the simple act of telling others that you are "trying to lose weight", "trying to eat healthier", "watching what you eat", etc..., works just as well, because it makes your intentions known to others and then makes you accountable. Who wants to eat donuts in front of coworkers who two days ago you told were "watching what you eat"? Just be honest with them. It's less likely to hurt their feelings and will benefit you in the long run!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 10:44 AM
Men really don't want or need to be tiptoed around...take it from someone who has way too much access to how their minds work (my clientele is 95% male). Plus, they tell me this outright. They've been my best supporters and cheerleaders all along once they realize I'm okay talking about my weight and what I'm doing about it (usually stems from a compliment they tentatively mumble). Seriously, they invite me to work out with them, help me find a good personal trainer, tell me about some restaurant they went to that had great healthy options, and even share how they're trying to lose 20 lbs so that their wives will find them more attractive. The only male food-pusher I've ever come across was a boyfriend who was trying to keep me under his thumb. Even the guys who say "there's nothing wrong with the way you look now" always follow it up with "but go for it, do what you've gotta do to make you happy".
I know you say that you don't want to bring up dieting at work, but you'd be surprised at the guaranteed positive response if you can overcome that.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 11:43 AM
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